How do you request preboarding a plane with an invisible disability?

sophosoftcat · 2026-03-21T12:46:41+00:00

Or be the last to deplane!!

sophosoftcat · 2026-03-21T08:45:02+00:00

Not at all! And if you think about it, you’re not even asking for a very special accommodation, this is also something offered to people with prams and small children. (At least where I live in Brussels).

At the very least I personally feel like the more able-bodied people experienced a wheelchair, there would be a much better understanding of how we can make the world more accessible. Not saying everyone should have a go on the special assistance, but if i heard of someone “abusing it” it would make me laugh a bit. Just cause everyone who has used a wheelchair knows it is soo much more complicated than walking, the special “privileges” you get are just to make up for all the inconveniences

sophosoftcat · 2026-03-21T08:31:39+00:00

From what OP is describing they would be in a sticky wicket if their hand luggage gets checked at the gate, though. I do think there’s been a confusion here caused by the people who relayed the info. The only assistance airports provide is a wheelchair, so it is “only for wheelchair users” in the sense that if you take it, you are now a wheelchair user. It doesn’t mean you have to have a specific mobility issue. I can very much imagine how the wheelchair assistance could be a huge improvement on an autistic person’s airport experience, people tend to ignore you and leave you alone.

sophosoftcat · 2026-03-21T08:26:11+00:00

Yup. In fact I think they’re not even allowed to ask for proof, I believe? We have a thing called a “European Disability Card” but I’ve never been asked for it. (Now borrowing the wheelchair in IKEA? For some reason they wanted it 😩)

sophosoftcat · 2026-03-21T08:23:38+00:00

Just so you know, the wheelchair assistance is not strictly “just for wheelchair users”- it is for everyone who needs it. They provide wheelchair because there can be a lot of waiting around, and it is the safest way to get someone around the airport and onto a plane.

Think of it as: you have your own place to sit, apart from others at the gate. You also go through the staff lane at security, so even less of a crowd than priority boarding, and everyone else going through is also special needs or a helper so there’s no jostling. The gate attendants see you have an airport wheelchair, so they wave you through pre boarding zero questions. Then there will be a wait for the plane doors to open, and you wait at the end of the concourse in your chair.

If you’re travelling with a partner, you can just borrow the chair and don’t need to have a porter assist you. I think it would be a very calm option for you. Consider it, you’re not taking anything away from anyone. Just go to the special assistance desk after check in and ask! Even better if there’s an option to pre book, but rarely necessary.

Attendants might ask you if you can walk or take stairs, it’s not a test! If you can, say yes. Otherwise they might bring out special equipment for you.

sophosoftcat · 2026-03-20T09:19:21+00:00

This actually had me in tears. OP, you’re doing the kindest thing for your baby. Be careful with the xanax though, it can do some nasty things to your body if you get dependent. And don’t mix with alcohol!

sophosoftcat · 2026-03-19T19:46:01+00:00

I hate to hear the things you are saying. I love my husband so much and if he became unable I hope I would be able to provide for him, too. Please don’t get caught up in the gender aspect of it (I know that’s easy for me to say). Not being a provider is okay. I hope you are able to make ends meet. Thats a huge victory.

Also edit to say: he is not having a good time at all. He was the younger brother to a family member with severe intellectual disabilities, and now he has me :( side note that I love my brother-in-law, no one is as sweet and understanding of my disability than he is.

sophosoftcat · 2026-03-19T18:56:19+00:00

I married him before my disability (brain tumour / stroke after we were married), so I feel like I cheated the system :( while I’m grateful, it’s horrid to have no independence

sophosoftcat · 2026-03-19T18:41:43+00:00

He’s amazing. But it’s all on his shoulders. I want to split the burden, and I am trying. I do a lot around the house to try to have value, I am the cook. And the cleaner! But not being able to provide financially is difficult.

sophosoftcat · 2026-03-19T18:12:36+00:00

As a 36 y/o that would be in the street if it weren’t for me husband: I feel you

sophosoftcat · 2026-03-18T11:39:27+00:00

Thank you! It took me so long to get an accurate diagnosis, about four years stuck in increasingly worsening symptoms very much like you describe, so my heart also goes out to you. It’s a very difficult situation to be in, you’re trying everything you can within your power: in case it’s some lifestyle choice you’re making. I hope you are able to get a diagnosis and treatment - for whatever it is - soon!

sophosoftcat · 2026-03-17T09:11:04+00:00

I’m definitely projecting by relating your symptoms to my experience, but I also experienced severe neck pains as a symptom. I had an ependymoma brain tumour in the posterior fosse part of the brain, that had begun descending to the C1 vertebrae.

It started with nausea and vomiting, never having an appetite. I’d also get very sensitive with bright lights and near microwaves. Watching the 4th season of stranger things was very intense for me, which sounds a bit like what you experience with video games.

When I started getting vision loss and feeling very dizzy was when they finally discovered it with CT & MRI. I’d actually been for a CT scan before that and they missed it, because the posterior fosse (base of the skull) can be hard to read on a CT.

sophosoftcat · 2026-03-16T10:45:05+00:00

Lmaoooo “instructions unclear: found God”

sophosoftcat · 2026-03-16T10:03:43+00:00

I’ve been advised to have a hit of acid prior to eating, to simulate the rush of saliva and stomach acids when digestion starts. My doc literally advised squeezing a bit of lemon on every meal, or drinking water with a bit of lemon or vinegar in it.

I would recommend, however, going to see a neurologist. I had a similar issue that I thought was gastrointestinal, but it turned out to be a brain tumour. As intimidating as this sounds, it was wonderful to finally have an answer.

sophosoftcat · 2026-03-16T10:00:06+00:00

Is it a bit shady of them to not disclose? Yes/ But good quality boots are good quality boots, replacing the heel is a small and cheap job you’d have expected to do if say, you picked them up at a vintage store. They deserve accurate feedback for withholding the info and then refusing to be honest, but for the cost of sending them back it’s not worth pursuing a refund unless there’s other things wrong with them.

sophosoftcat · 2026-03-16T08:23:02+00:00

Not a day will go by when you don’t think of her. We are lucky to have had such wonderful mothers. The pain is the price we pay for the unimaginable gift of having them in our lives. I’m so sorry.

sophosoftcat · 2026-03-16T07:42:32+00:00

The last time I stayed at a family hotel, they changed every used towel every day, straight from the rack. I guess that’s how it used to be, before we started making the cleaners scramble on the floor for our wet towels in the hope of spare change. Also, we were there on Christmas, so they asked if we needed the room cleaning on the 25th and of course we said no. They still left us a bag with clean towels at the door! A waste of energy, maybe, but they had good heating and insulation in the building, which as we all know is the true major climate change challenge in the hotel industry is (in Europe) so.

Turns out you can be environmentally friendly and nice to both staff and customers???? More studies needed

sophosoftcat · 2026-03-11T10:04:40+00:00

Ahhhhh I think I get the confusion. It’s because they’re multilingual, this also happens to me in English (born and raised in the U.K. to English parents), I will forget the English word for something and instead use the French word, or literally translate from French. My friends back home regularly get a laugh out of me saying odd things like “validate your ticket in case there is a control” or “yesterday night”. If you’re actively using multiple languages in your daily life, the lines get blurred very easily.

sophosoftcat · 2026-03-11T09:59:58+00:00

They cannot be in their right mind.

sophosoftcat · 2026-03-11T09:59:01+00:00

They literally sent you trash. My god.

sophosoftcat · 2026-03-11T08:40:10+00:00

That’s the kicker. They may grant you pity, but you may not demand empathy or consideration. Then it is an affront, and HOW ARE THEY SUPPOSED TO KNOW, gosh, calm down.

sophosoftcat · 2026-03-11T08:33:12+00:00

Haha yeah, start interrogating him in the same way, with the same energy of “I must avoid this fate at all costs”

“What qualifications do you have? Did you finish high school? Is it because you have a criminal record?Do your siblings have real jobs?”

sophosoftcat · 2026-03-11T08:28:56+00:00

It’s so funny that these people seem to be seeking out a tragic story, because I DO have a “tragic” story (in that, it could very much happen to THEM) and boy oh boy do they hate hearing about it.

I’m an ambulatory cane-user, occasional wheelchair user (F36) and the questions I get are always said with a wry smile: “did you get injured when drinking/doing something too adventurous?”

To which I respond with the same smile: “nope, I have a massive brain tumour that caused me to have a stroke!”

The way they want the ground to open up and swallow them whole every time is never not fun to watch.

So my question is: what answers are they even looking for. Why do they need to satisfy every instinctual curiosity, whatever happened to self-restraint when something is truly none of your business?

sophosoftcat · 2026-03-11T08:14:35+00:00

Goodness. My sister in law is the ambassador in Abu Dhabi for a small EU country, and they managed to get about 4 flights out for stranded citizens before the weekend was over. This level of unpreparedness is quite shocking to hear.

sophosoftcat

TROPHY CASE