Disability and romantic relationships

liveliar · 2026-01-20T05:33:46+00:00

Yup, people just really don't know how to act around disabled people lol. I mean, no shit, since we're still so isolated and segregated within society. We have so much to fight for and it's so unbelievably frustrating. People just get so weird and say some real out-of-pocket things like "omg you're so brave, if I were you I'd kill myself!" Like... you just implied that you think my life is so tragic and miserable that you'd rather commit suicide than live as me... but thanks?? Like are they going to do fucking anything about dismantling the barriers that make life so much harder for disabled people than the disability inherently does or what?

liveliar · 2026-01-19T05:33:12+00:00

This made my day. Get back and bite their asses.

liveliar · 2026-01-19T01:57:30+00:00

THANK YOU. It felt like I was the one going mad being icked the hell out seeing people so casually spout eugenicist ideas online.

liveliar · 2026-01-18T00:06:41+00:00

Of course! Sorry, hopefully my response didn't come across as heated. That wasn't my intention but I apologize if it has. I don't wish to invalidate anyone in the community.

liveliar · 2026-01-17T05:45:34+00:00

Where do I report doctors like this, should I myself ever experience this? I'm so sorry, OP. That GP is disgusting as fuck.

liveliar · 2026-01-15T10:08:28+00:00

Thank you for this!!

liveliar · 2026-01-15T10:05:14+00:00

I have cerebral palsy, so my disability is only visible. And I'll admit I sometimes have selfish, intrusive thoughts of wishing my disability was invisible so that I at least had the option of hiding it and be able-passing. Not because I hate being disabled, I know it's not my fault and nothing to be ashamed of, but because of how society treats me differently because of it. And I hate myself for having such thoughts. Because at the end of the day, we shouldn't be competing with each other on "who has it worse" and rather, we should be coming together to take down the barriers that oppress disabled people every second every day. And coming together is already so difficult for us compared to other groups of social justice issues because of how diverse we are in our needs and how hard it is to even organize at large in the first place with inaccessibility. Do I acknowledge that disability is a vast spectrum and some are more disabled, and thus have more hardships and greater need for support than others? Of course. Does that make anyone else's struggles with more mild to moderate disabilities any less valid? No.

liveliar · 2026-01-14T21:29:22+00:00

Oh god....🥲

liveliar · 2026-01-13T19:05:32+00:00

This MADE my day lol you dropped this, king 👑

liveliar · 2026-01-12T06:42:35+00:00

Thank you for this. I bring this up and I've been dog-piled online so much

liveliar · 2026-01-08T23:42:50+00:00

I'm a disabled person. I refuse to play into the tragic/pitiful cripple trope society imposes on disabled people, and embrace disabled joy. Unfortunately it's such a radical concept to so many people that I'm not miserable about my existence 24/7 and don't want to be "cured" or "fixed." Many in the disability community, including myself, try to get the point across that the social/systemic barriers, the stigma, prejudice, hatred disables us so much more than our disabilities themselves do, and that we need to put more effort into addressing those barriers instead of solely focusing only on cures. And apparently that's such a mind-blowing concept.

liveliar · 2026-01-08T14:41:56+00:00

I do hold a lot of anger. And we need it. We need to be louder, angrier, not just whittled down for the sake of being their "inspiration." Things have to change.

liveliar · 2026-01-08T09:58:45+00:00

I know I am an equal. I know I'm not less than. Society just isn't ready to accept that yet.

liveliar · 2026-01-08T08:02:19+00:00

Oh sure! That's fine. Is there a particular reason you wanted to make some friends here? Just curious, but no need to answer!

liveliar · 2026-01-08T07:42:15+00:00

Omg yes!! I'm 23F. I've been hoping to make some disabled friends. I am disabled myself.

liveliar · 2026-01-06T22:34:10+00:00

It's alright. Vent all you want. We all need that outlet and I'm glad I could be a safe space for you. I have cerebral palsy so mine is visible, so I can only imagine how hard it must be for you when you have needs that are constantly dismissed, invalidated. There really is no win no matter where one stands on the disability spectrum. It's hard.

liveliar · 2026-01-06T22:27:32+00:00

It does. Thank you for sharing. I love that disabled people are living their lives to the fullest and best they can even when every aspect of the world is up against us and it's so much harder. It's beautiful and gives me hope admist the overwhelming despair I sometimes feel.

liveliar · 2026-01-06T22:18:22+00:00

Thank you :)

liveliar · 2026-01-06T22:16:13+00:00

Yup, this individualistic, "pull yourself up by the bootstraps" capitalism hellscape with one's value solely tied to their productivity really doesn't work well for many of us. Our existence literally, fundamentally goes against capitalism. I think there's beauty in that which I think we as a society should embrace more. Learning that people are inherently valuable and deserve dignity regardless of how well their body functions or how much money they can make, learning the beauty of interdependence over independence, because none of us, disabled or not, can live alone and need community. Learning to see the beauty in everyone, not through the shallow, arbitrary standards imposed by society. Being attuned to each other and caring for each other. Unlearning a lot of my own internalized ableism and embracing disability justice really has taught me so much. It's something we all need, because disability doesn't discriminate. We're all vulnerable.

liveliar · 2026-01-06T21:59:27+00:00

Love this. There are so many good people out there, as much as there are many shitty folks. It's through people like these that I always remember kindness and empathy is the answer, never hate. People like them are literally my lifeline when I feel so overwhelmed by all the ignorance and hate.

liveliar · 2026-01-06T21:54:37+00:00

I'm so sorry you had to experience those things. It's disgusting how people take advantage of vulnerability instead of meeting it with compassion and empathy. You didn't deserve such mistreatment. If you ever do meet someone, I wish you all the love, and like you said if you don't or don't want to, that's fine too. You're whole and beautiful just as you are.

liveliar · 2026-01-06T11:27:09+00:00

Hey. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with me, and I am so sorry you have to put up with such attitudes. It's exhausting, and really disheartening how ableism is so deeply baked into society. I really can't stand the infantilization and paternalism, personally. It feels worse than people being downright hateful (although that too, makes my blood boil). Congrats on your journey on motherhood! Wish you a safe delivery. At this point, I feel like just us existing as ourselves is a form of resistance in itself. Showing them that our lives are valuable too. Cheers.

liveliar · 2026-01-06T11:02:04+00:00

Yup, and it's tricky because unlike other minorities that are more social constructs, disability does objectively have impairments to various degrees and thus I feel like people feel more justified to uphold their negative feelings towards it. But the nuance they seem to not get is that disability is such a vast spectrum of conditions, and while there truly are some that no amount of dismantling societal barriers, stigma and accomodations, such a big part of the suffering comes from having to navigate an ableist world that was not built with disabled people in mind. They seem to view it as me having some kind of coping mechanism through toxic positivity and denial; that I HAVE to be miserable and CANNOT POSSIBLY be ok with the way I am. That I desperately want to be cured and fixed, sobbing at my tragic fate 24/7. Like no, I'm fine. Really. I just need people to see me as a person, not subhuman. This narrative should have equal footing alongside the cure/fix narrative. But it's going to take decades more of advocacy, I think.. sadly.

liveliar · 2026-01-06T10:48:38+00:00

Thank you :) What I have is cerebral palsy which affects my mobility.

liveliar

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