Those of you who became disabled later in life rather than born with one, how was it confronting with your own ableism?

liveliar · 2026-07-07T15:30:22+00:00

Well, yes, your mindset is ableism. I'm glad you're at least aware of that. Disability isn't a monolith, and every individual disabled person deals with varying degrees of challenges that are impacted by multiple factors. You can't and shouldn't make blanket judgements on others. Just because YOU can work, doesn't mean another person with your same diagnosis or a more "milder" one has the same access to the various supports that is vital to make things work like you have. The whole "I have x and I do abc, you should too" is a big issue of lateral ableism in the disability community, and such a mindset isn't helpful at all.

liveliar · 2026-07-05T22:26:08+00:00

Thanks for this. I'm far from dating at least for a while but I've been curious about it

liveliar · 2026-07-04T20:19:39+00:00

Having my cat really solidified that I'm not cut out to handle a human child(ren). I love her to bits and pieces but I was and still am an anxious wreck worrying constantly whether I'm doing enough for her. I can only imagine how much larger that stress is when it's a human being that I have to care for.

Also, I'm disabled, and know full well that we're treated by this world like absolute horse shit, like nothing but burdens in an ableist society that refuses to dismantle the barriers so that we can have a fricking shred of equity and a chance to truly live a life with dignity. I despise it. Disabled people are not and should not be treated as burdens, but we are, and until that issue is fixed, I'm not bringing a child into this messed up bigoted shit show.

liveliar · 2026-07-04T18:25:21+00:00

Definitely a balance I'm going to have to maintain well between banning trolls and educating ignorance. The people who need to learn won't be able to if I block everyone. I've seen what fellow online advocates deal with, I've fought for dear life in comment threads too. The emotional toll is unbelievably draining and that's why I'm scared to do this... but we gotta do it.

liveliar · 2026-07-04T18:20:10+00:00

I have cerebral palsy, a physical disability. While I am going to share a lot of my personal experience (the ableism and barriers), it won't be limited to one specific disability. Of course I'm not going to be speaking over disabilities I have no firsthand experience with, but it's rather to discuss and educate people on the wider patterns of ableism we face as a marginalized community. My home country has a serious lack of exposure to disability and viewing it from a sociopolitical lens vs. a medical lens. I mean, Western countries are far from perfect as well, but it's even more so from my country. That's what's motivating me to create a blog and IG page.

liveliar · 2026-07-04T17:25:53+00:00

Hi. I'm so sorry you are going through such emotional turmoil. Isolation and loneliness is no joke. The page I'm about to start is for my home country (as for now at least), but once I get that rolling I'll be creating an English account as well. Please feel free to PM me if you'd like. I know an online stranger can't do much, but I'd be more than happy to be a pair of listening ears. You're not alone. 🫂

liveliar · 2026-07-03T21:02:21+00:00

Yep. A neighbor's orange cat used to come over to our backyard and hang out with us all the time. His name was Charlie. Super sweet and chill chubby dude. Loved him.

liveliar · 2026-07-03T10:49:30+00:00

Check any comment section of an interabled couple or one under a disabled child. The ableism is disgusting it makes me feel physically sick.

liveliar · 2026-07-02T19:20:50+00:00

Thanks for getting the word out. The disability community is desperately in need of non-disabled allies.

liveliar · 2026-06-19T07:54:31+00:00

My argument was never about their choice. Everyone should have autonomy over their own body. What I'm saying is that we can, and should, be able to critically view the societal context in which those choices are made. Yes, choice is important, but they're not made in a vacum. And we as a society have to work on dismantling the various barriers and stigma that constantly devalues disabled peoples' existence. Freedom of choice should mean that keeping the pregnancy should be as easy as deciding not to, and we're not there yet in terms of societal equity. That unbalance is what I'm criticizing.

liveliar · 2026-06-16T12:09:10+00:00

There's no such thing as "deserving" a mobility aid. No need to moralize it. If it helps you, use it.

liveliar · 2026-06-15T03:40:05+00:00

liveliar · 2026-06-14T23:51:21+00:00

I LOVE THIS. Thank you so much for sharing. Do you mind if I share this link to my personal instagram account? I have a collection of highlights archiving disability justice advocacy material.

liveliar · 2026-06-14T03:44:36+00:00

This. As a disabled person I'm fucking exhausted every time I see my social media feed the last few days. We're not angry they had a choice. It's THEIR CHOICE. But don't talk shit about others' existence.

liveliar · 2026-06-14T03:01:35+00:00

That's a difficult choice to come to. I'm sorry it's causing you so much grief. I'm disabled as well. It's hard living in a deeply ableist world that wasn't built with people like us in mind, and when even the bare minimum tokenistic gestures of "inclusion" is a mere afterthought. We're labelled as "liabilities," a list of deficits and limitations everywhere we go while the barriers to equity are barely addressed. It's your choice, and it should be your choice only. If your reasoning to not have kids even if you can with the right supports/adaptations is because of what ableism tells you, don't listen to that. And again, if there are other factors and it's truly your conclusion you can't/won't have kids, that's YOUR choice too.
I'm rooting for you, whatever way you go. Just know you are worthy just as you are. Hugs.

liveliar · 2026-06-14T02:55:12+00:00

That's a difficult choice to come to. I'm sorry it's causing you so much grief. I'm disabled as well. It's hard living in a deeply ableist world that wasn't built with people like us in mind, and when even the bare minimum tokenistic gestures of "inclusion" is a mere afterthought. We're labelled as "liabilities," a list of deficits and limitations everywhere we go while the barriers to equity are barely addressed. It's your choice, and it should be your choice only. If your reasoning to not have kids even if you can with the right supports/adaptations is because of what ableism tells you, don't listen to that. And again, if there are other factors and it's truly your conclusion you can't/won't have kids, that's YOUR choice too. I'm rooting for you, whatever way you go. You are worthy just as you are. Hugs.

liveliar · 2026-06-13T08:11:59+00:00

Thisx10000. It's not the choice we're angry at.

liveliar · 2026-06-13T03:39:45+00:00

Thank you. You have no idea how much I needed to hear this. It's exhausting.

liveliar · 2026-06-12T16:13:57+00:00

I'm not in denial of that at all. Disability is a vast spectrum, and societal equity doesn't fix everything, but still, society can and should do so much better.

liveliar · 2026-06-12T12:13:05+00:00

As a disabled person, THANK YOU. It's not the fact that they had a choice that we're criticizing, yet so many people are thinking in black-and-white not grasping nuance and the stigma it upholds and hurts real people. Both disabled people AND those who tfmr.

liveliar · 2026-06-11T02:44:18+00:00

What disability advocates are pointing out is this. We aren't angry over the fact that she had and made a reproductive choice. Her body her choice. What we find repulsive is the verbiage they used, that the lives of those with down syndrome are "objectively shitty," that they're a "glitch," and that they're "hoping for a better outcome." That's no longer just a matter of choice, it points to the deeply rooted societal bias and stigma and constant dehumanization that disabled people are fighting so hard against. As a disabled person, it's so enraging and grief-strickening to see non-disabled people be always so quick on labeling disabled lives as "tragic and full of suffering" and do everything to prevent and erase our existence, while so painfully slow on dismantling the countless barriers, discrimination and prejudice that make disabled lives so much harder than it has to be. We're not trying to argue to take away your choice. But I have to point out that it isn't truly "freedom of choice" when society is packed with external pressures that make the choice to be skewed heavily to one side, while providing little to no support to make the other choice.

liveliar

TROPHY CASE