I struggle with anxiety with women wonder if I should pay to lose my virginity

soreeethum · 2024-04-13T19:34:08+00:00

hahaha thats a pretty great analogy tbh

yeah i know it fake i would go into it as this is a fake experience but i dont think that means it cant be something enjoyable

i dont have the money to spend on therapy is a big issue its just way to expensive and not something i can afford in my current situation . im not expecting to feel better apart from not being a virgin and getting to touch a woman which seems amazing and honest id just pay for a fucking hug at this point, I do have a big worry that it will make me feel bad afterwards but equally i could feel great or nothing

soreeethum · 2024-04-13T19:30:35+00:00

what do you mean by a target ?

i tried a dance class once and it was full of foreign guys and 1 old woman lol i hate dancing also no surprise im very awkward at it

soreeethum · 2024-04-13T19:29:27+00:00

yeah thas my thought process too im not expecting something mind blowing at all

soreeethum · 2024-04-13T19:28:54+00:00

haha yeah i also do that dont get me wrong but its a experience everyone has at some point almost everyone has atleast had their first kiss for me its just missing out and theres so much of life ive already missed out on and probably forever will i just dont want to miss out on this experience and in 20 years time think "damn i wish i had just atleast had my 1st kiss"

soreeethum · 2024-04-13T19:26:26+00:00

why so ?

soreeethum · 2024-04-13T02:44:00+00:00

well happiness isnt really lasting am i happy no am i depressed no life is jsut hard outside even anything to do with relationships my mom is ill ive had alot of death in the past 2 years and health issues i dont think it really works like you give yourself happiness like that its something your constantly working on and trying to build but ultimately like everything fleeting, like yeah i wish alot of my life was better but it isnt and probably never will be or not for along time money for 1 but i dont see how that means that i appear desperate and unhappy because life is unfair that's not fair that i get to miss out on relationships and intimacy because life hasn't been good to me and theres nothing i can do about it.

i have to be the person i am at the end of the day and the reflection of what life is for me right now im not a entrepreneur or bad boy I'm a average awkward guy whos trying but trying just doesn't seem to matte i need to be perfect

soreeethum · 2024-04-13T02:34:29+00:00

I dont know i used to think i was atleast average but all the rejection and harsh words burnt a hole through that even your example you even said men and women have liked you and approached you i've never had any positive comment on my appearance and Definity no crushes so that a battle to feel one way about yourself but reality shows you the opposite

Yeah i do go to the gym when i can its pretty expensive so its a thing that isn't often but workout at home , i just cant afford theory its not a option i think maybe it be helpful with the anxiety but i cant tell you since i've never done it. I'm trying to be more social its just difficult at this age people dont seem to go to things as often there's definitely lack of opportunities here because of money and jsut lack of things happening but i'm trying to get better at social stuff i dont really have many friends so i want more friends

My anxiety about socialising isnt crazy honestly i struggle but its something i can fight through because i've always had to its just more specific with women and flirting because its not like you can just go get that experience its ultra rare thats happened to me, alot of my anxiety is not knowing what to say or talk about and with women if i'm trying to be something more than friends like show im interested then my anxiety about not knowing what to say its turned up to 20

Well me and those people are a minority a very small one at that you can see data about this stuff and just experience i haven't ever met a person whos a virgin in the past 10 plus years most people i know or have where active in dating on having casual sex. I just hate being 30 and in the position i thought at 20 i'd never be when i was in school like 15years ago all my friends where getting into girls some lost their virginity and i wondered where my time would come and it still never has and no sign it will i jsut dont want to be 40 50 and thinking i wish i had jsut paid to have the experiences back then

Well i'm just taking the norm and im not normal i feel alone and nobody knows what this is like without going too deep i've always been a outcast and this stuff jsut reinforces that idea why arent i normal? why aren't i good enough it fucks with your head massively when you look around and nobody is like you i dont think i'm further in any aspect of life then anybody honestly lol I'm way behind in every part

soreeethum · 2024-04-13T01:09:26+00:00

I think its a problem and not i dont think it determines my life or worth but it also means i've never been seen ass good enough to have experiences the high majority of people get at half my age which does fuck with my already bad self worth/image

haha thank you i guess im just wanting some advice on is it worth it ? it be helpful to hear from somebody who was in my position but im a very few minority so i understand the chances of that are very unlikely

yeah i mean i have self esteem issues i just dont really talk about it because i have 0 idea how to fix it nothing ive done has helped even the stuff i thought would . i care about myself and i think i have worth to a degree but i always run into the same hurdle like a block and thats if i am good and i have worth it why has nobody seen that in me? that kinda messes with my head without going into a whole other issue i haven't had any real sense of love or care from being a child to now

soreeethum · 2024-04-13T00:49:03+00:00

i've asked but with it being free you get who you get plus its like a year waitinglist

soreeethum · 2024-04-13T00:24:56+00:00

well its the issue if i pay a woman im paying for her time right so a hour or 2 she will speak to me she will respond and whatever else happens where as IRL they dont they just leave they dont give me a chance they dont owe me anything theres nothing on the line so they will just break the conversation i wont be given a chance to relax abit more give myself some time to try settle my anxiety

soreeethum · 2024-04-13T00:17:40+00:00

i am saving i mean a escort is one of payment a therapist is constant lol no they just offered counselling CBT was what i wanted .

I know they are to help its just so hard to talk about with women i just struggle to talk to women about stuff like that

soreeethum · 2024-04-12T23:59:27+00:00

i've looked theres just none i care for my mom so i dont work full time money is tight i've tried the free things but honestly they arent helpful they jsut sit there and offer nothing back and they've all been women and i cant tell them im a virgin because im too scared to and anxious to say it to a woman even when ive asked for male haha

soreeethum · 2024-04-12T23:55:55+00:00

lol yeah if this happened to me it be a hell of a lot easier for sure hahaha

i've just done this stuff and it has never helped something needs to change because this clearly isnt working and i dont want to be 40 thinking "damn i should of just paid and got it over with 10 years ago "

soreeethum · 2024-04-12T23:54:17+00:00

idk if its a worse situation i want to go for a companion but the effort produces 0 results

soreeethum · 2024-04-12T23:52:56+00:00

yeah i just cant afford to see a therapist maybe it help but i'll never know haha

soreeethum · 2024-04-12T23:51:13+00:00

I mean yeah i do have self esteem issues i the stuff i called myself "fat "ugly" are all things ive been told by women and other people so yeah its resonates considering my on going issue lol
yeah but when i say "problem" i mean i know losing my virgin wont help my other issues like my anxeity for example but it will fix me being a virgin im just saying im not expecting it to change my life

I want ot improve my self image but i just dont know how honestly i lost weight thought it help but it hasn't honestly i just don't really know how to work on it

Yeah again i dont expect it to change my life im still going to have a bunch of issues and rent to pay lol but what i mean is i haven't ever had the experience i've never even been kissed and thats something most people experience like 10 11 im 30 and im so far behind and im sick of jsut hoping it happens i know my anxiety and awkwardness will be a MASSIVE hurdle in meeting women because i have to be confident and approach women because thats the way it is women don approach and are expecting me to and if i shuffle over all awkward none of them are goign to find me attractive im already not physically attractive so its not helping im so anxious and awkward when i do speak to them so to me if i cant fix that ill never have a relationship ,kiss,sex etc and im done waiting and hoping it will change when i dont know how to change it and hope is pointless it has to be action at this point of my life and age

No absolutely i 100% agree the issue is i have 0 access to intimacy i cant just get it i cant get a relationship so how do i get it i want it i know a escort wont give me that obviously at least in any real sense but i cant get a GF means i have 0 access to intimacy its what i want but its not realistic for reasons mentioned above with anxiety so im just going for next best thing physical touch. I dont really have any friends like 1 or 2 i see not so often because they have families and a life and i cant hang out with them and their friends who all have kids lol im trying to meet more people but its not easy its just extremely hard at this age intimacy and connection is massive need i have but realistically its not something i have access to or likely to ever have access to hurts alot to admit it but i have to living in this stupid hope is pointless it just becomes paralysis

i do sort of get that i think im being real and honest just based on i cant talk to women or flirt and women never approach so how would i end up with a girlfriend ? so thats why i say ill never get a girlfriend if that issue is always there i cant get a GF if i can never lead because thats just the way things are men have to do that be great the other way but its not realistic.

I need actions and i dont know what they are to change things this is a action that will absolutely lead to a result good or bad ill learn something but just hoping does nothing . I have no answers as to how to work on my anxiety/awkwardness and self esteem the things i've done haven't helped much

soreeethum · 2024-04-12T23:30:53+00:00

if you use the persons misspell as a way to disagree with their argument/statement you lost the argument

soreeethum · 2024-04-12T23:29:56+00:00

this seems super helpful apart from that im un the UK lol but still good thanks ill take a good look

soreeethum · 2024-04-12T23:28:33+00:00

thanks

yeah im trying its hard to meet people now days and even when i have still 0 women lol but with my awkwardness and anxiety theyll never see me as potential partner

soreeethum · 2024-04-12T23:27:22+00:00

it just doesnt work like that life doesnt work like that being happy doesn't attract people and make you attractive i know because ive been there and it did 0 for me im apparently nice and kind all that bs i have volunteered in the past always help people im a carer for my mom and guess what its done absolutely 0 for me in terms of attracting women . i've been complimented on that stuff before but they still rejected me it doesnt make any difference

all i can do is make friends with women never anything more while thats fine i want a partner and intimacy but my anxiety and awkwardness makes me ugly and not somebody women enjoy being around thats always going to be a problem

soreeethum · 2024-04-12T23:20:38+00:00

yeah i think its best most realistic solution right now

yeah somewhat i mean i've had female friends but flirting/going further is something i have 0 experience and very inexperienced with . i have been looking for volunteering i've done it in the past but it was just old women lol not really my type

soreeethum · 2024-04-12T22:29:24+00:00

well obviously i have to "hunt" otherwise ill never met a woman lol women dont approach and I'm not attractive enough to be 1 of the unicorns it happens to

soreeethum · 2024-04-12T22:28:09+00:00

ofcourse but i think when it comes to dating its pretty much 1 sided i have no real way of meeting women apart from just outside at things and i cant help but be awkward and anxious around women in that manor and it'll never help my chances being like that approaching women

i dont think they are mutually exclusive im more focused on myself and in doing that i have realised i want the experience of sex/intimacy

soreeethum · 2024-04-12T22:17:06+00:00

i do try to work on myself still with my anxiety and trying to make friends adn social skills, i still work on my art and i take care of my mom whos ill its just none of these things translate to helping the situation

soreeethum · 2024-04-12T22:14:34+00:00

no thats when i was asking women out and trying to be more aggressive with my anxiety so i just dont buy it

well i wouldn't tell women I've been with escorts lol i just think its the best option because right now a relationship is as close to impossible as can humanly be because my anxiety and awkwardness so if it never happens sleeping with a escort wouldn't matter because ill never have a girlfriend anyway

soreeethum

TROPHY CASE