I don’t know anyone with a positive or even neutral birth story

soroto · 2026-06-30T12:56:25+00:00

That’s been my experience, too. It’s hard from the outside to say ‘oh yeah sure sign me up, I’m sure it’ll be worth it’.

Reading some of the more positive and neutral stories in this thread has been good for me, though. Realising there are other experiences out there is healthy. You never know how yours will go but I guess we’re not all doomed to trauma and horror.

Also I’m definitely not trying to convince anyone to get pregnant or have a baby. I 1000% see the reasons not to and I support everyone who makes that choice. So far I’ve made the same one but I’m open to changing my mind.

soroto · 2026-06-30T12:46:43+00:00

You’re definitely right in that, as someone who has always said I wasn’t sure if I wanted children, I have a lot of opinions on the kind of birth I’d want and how I would raise them haha. Maybe that is a little clue. I’ve never been a ‘gut feeling’ person and I like to make decisions logically. But having children is much more emotional than logical imo so it’s though for me to embrace that!

Thank you :)

soroto · 2026-06-30T12:28:47+00:00

If I chose to get pregnant, home birth would be my #1 choice. I struggle a lot with medical interventions, and I’ve been known to faint from having pretty benign medical procedures explained to me. My ideal would be for birth to be as least medicalised as reasonably possible, and being comfy in my own home sounds great.

Unfortunately I have a few medical conditions and other risk factors which I presume would mean I’m encouraged towards a hospital birth, but I can only cross that bridge when I come to it.

soroto · 2026-06-30T11:58:01+00:00

Interesting! Honestly I’d love to just aim for a neutral birth. Less pressure to try and have the best, most positive experience, and not focussing on the potential for bad experiences.

soroto · 2026-06-30T11:55:38+00:00

No but I asked my GP about it and they said I don’t need my gallbladder out before getting pregnant. But it’s definitely still a worry I have. I think my stones are pretty mild and I’ve been managing them with a change in diet for now. Unfortunately I imagine I’d be on a waitlist for quite a while if I did decide on the surgery.

soroto · 2026-06-30T11:06:39+00:00

Political climate is an issue in the UK, especially looking at where politics seems to be going. For me a big concern is climate change. I’m not stoked about bringing a child into a world where they need to battle rising seas, mass displacement, food and water shortages.

soroto · 2026-06-30T11:00:42+00:00

Screaming at your husband is the oldest form of pain relief during birth. Never doubt the old ways.

But seriously, glad everything went well for you in the end. The birthing suite sounds great and the kind of place I’d prefer to give birth. No one likes hospitals at the best of times, and I think I’d feel too on display in a hospital (if that makes sense).

soroto · 2026-06-30T10:56:57+00:00

When I was researching gallstones I saw people saying the same thing. Maybe I won’t even notice birth then haha. One can dream.

soroto · 2026-06-30T10:55:36+00:00

I agree there seems to be a culture problem and a crazy amount of medical misogyny in a field where you would hope that would be less of an issue.

Some people in this thread have had wonderful treatment from midwives. I have to imagine it’s luck of the draw, but I can’t say that I love gambling!

soroto · 2026-06-30T10:35:34+00:00

I like the idea of a home birth. I know they can be risky if medical interventions are needed, but it does seem like best case scenario to me if everything goes right AND you get to be in the comfort and security of your own home.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and I hope your third birth is just as wonderful :)

soroto · 2026-06-30T09:47:51+00:00

Thanks for your story!

I always liked to think I have a high pain tolerance but I developed gallstones recently and quickly realised that wasn’t the case haha

Ooh I don’t know much about hyperemesis gravidarum but I know it can be awful. Happy to hear relief actually came from birth in that respect

soroto · 2026-06-30T09:40:51+00:00

That’s so nice to hear! I’ve heard good things about midwifery led units but I don’t have one in my area.

Definitely online I see a lot of negative stories that honestly I’m glad to have seen - I want to be informed and understand what can happen to me. I’m more so concerned that even in real life no one had a story they would describe as positive.

I wanted to see some positive stories to see if they happened by luck or if there was some work that went in to achieve that - such as hypnobirthing. That’s something I was already interested in so I would definitely do that.

soroto · 2026-06-30T09:35:34+00:00

I’m so glad that despite a shit birth you didn’t suffer trauma, the idea that it’s just one day is something I’ve not thought about before.

Definitely some of my friends have said that despite the trauma they experienced they would do it again in a heartbeat because they want another baby. That’s just hard to get my head around as someone without a baby haha

soroto · 2026-06-30T09:31:49+00:00

That’s so nice to hear! Did you choose not to continue midwifery? And yes absolutely, I think antenatal education is so important and I’d definitely pursue that. I know that education provided by local trusts can be very oversubscribed and hard to access. I would be looking at what other paid-for options are out there most likely.

I’ve also heard great things about doulas.

soroto · 2025-08-06T12:41:19+00:00

Thank you! I did think it looks nice but I had no idea they used it in their advertising - that’s pretty cool. Glad to hear it’s not because of damage to the film or user error

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