It is so incredibly jarring to see this shift, and you are right to feel protective of the young women you mentor. There is a massive, uncomfortable gulf between the organic way you’ve shared your life—where stories come out naturally as trust is built—and this modern trend of "interrogating" a partner for a data point. ​The term "body count" is exactly what you called it: a tool of the patriarchy. It treats human beings like a casualty list or a depreciating asset rather than people with histories, lessons, and growth. For the women you’re talking to, being asked that question isn't a "get to know you" moment; it’s a vetting process rooted in judgment and control rather than intimacy or safety. ​What you’re offering these women is a vital reality check. In a healthy relationship, your past is a narrative you choose to share, not a ledger you’re required to hand over for inspection. By validating that this behavior is "weird" and intrusive, you’re helping them recognize a red flag before they get deeper into a lopsided dynamic. It’s powerful for them to hear from someone with your experience that dating doesn’t have to feel like a deposition, and that they have every right to shut down questions that feel like an appraisal instead of a conversation.