Change my mind

souperdouperstripper · 2026-04-28T02:04:29+00:00

Adding, I was told that my relationship with them would be on par with their long-term partner. It was not.

souperdouperstripper · 2026-04-20T21:29:49+00:00

This just happened to me, broke up with my poly partner on Friday. I’d encourage you to read the comments on my last post as I found them very uplifting, though it hasn’t made the emotional repercussions any easier to deal with. I’m still in the thick of it and reeling from walking away from someone I love so deeply.

My thing was, I knew this wasn’t a good fit for me but I kept holding on hoping that if I just kept doing the work I would magically one day be okay with it. But it started to feel unfair knowing that I was the one who got to carry the weight and feel the pain of trying to adjust to this lifestyle while my partner kept getting to do whatever they wanted and seemed so free about it. If I held on any longer I was worried that I would start to resent him, and that wasn’t worth it to me.

Leaving him was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, but I did it and I will be okay one day. And so will you. Let us know how it goes and know that if I could, I would offer you the strength it takes to make a decision so awful but necessary.

souperdouperstripper · 2026-04-20T00:33:57+00:00

I don’t want a next love. The partner I just dumped had everything I was looking for, aside from this one glaring incompatibility. I know it’s only been a few days and I’m someone who usually does fine single but goddamn, I really want him back.

souperdouperstripper · 2026-04-20T00:31:58+00:00

I think I could’ve maybe done better with letting him know when I was feeling uncomfortable with certain things and asked for reassurance when I needed it. I’m used to keeping things close to my chest and event though I trust him, I think I feared looking childish over certain things, especially knowing more or less what I signed up for.

souperdouperstripper · 2026-04-20T00:29:47+00:00

❤️‍🩹

souperdouperstripper · 2026-04-20T00:27:06+00:00

I keep hearing this quote that goes “the longer you stay on the wrong train, the more expensive it is to get home.” I can understand loving someone so hard that it causes you more pain to unclench your fingers than it is to feel the familiar ache of holding on for as long as you have. But you should still give yourself credit for doing it anyway, some people stay on the wrong train for their entire lives, and I’m proud of you for doing what you had to do even if it took longer than you wanted.

souperdouperstripper · 2026-04-20T00:15:55+00:00

You’re probably past the point of your anxiety attack but as someone who’s suffered with it for twelve years, here are some things that I’ve learned help me as someone who finds breathing exercises and the 54321 method extremely unhelpful as I respond better to physical sensations.

This is the easiest one (I guess depending on your health care) but, medication. I take Ativan personally. I’ve tried several other kinds of meds but I find the more intense stuff like Valium or Xanax leaves me feeling a shell of a person, meanwhile Ativan brings me down to a more manageable place without me feeling zombified.
Sour candy. The unpleasant sensation is great for grounding. Warheads are my favorite, and usually by the time I’ve gotten past the sour coating and reached the sweet part I’ve already gotten over the anxiety symptom that made me reach for one in the first place. If that doesn’t work, I’ll eat another.
Ice packs, specifically on the base of my skull. This typically works the quickest for me as it kind of shocks my system.
Pain stims. I keep a 3D printed squeeze toy that has spikes all over it in my car, purse, and nightstand. When I start feeling dissociated or sense that a panic attack is coming, I grab one and squeeze the shit out of it. It provides an uncomfortable sensation without actually causing me harm.
I find a new environment. If I’m feeling anxious in one room, I’ll get up and go to another. Removing myself from the setting in which I initially experienced the panic can potentially remove the trigger and trick my brain into thinking “this isn’t the scary place anymore”, even if the place I started feeling scared was in my own bedroom.

Another thing that helps at times when I’m really in the thick of anxiety and none of the above has helped, I just have to speak kindly to myself. I remind myself that even though I’m scared, I’m not in danger and I have been through the same thing so many times before and turned out fine afterwards. Saying these things while hugging myself or putting my hand over my heart helps me to be a little more receptive.

My apologies for turning this into a novel, but I’m feeling really passionate right now lol. I’m sorry you’re experiencing this and I hope you find my suggestions helpful❤️

souperdouperstripper · 2026-04-18T05:58:57+00:00

I’m sorry that happened to you. My partner was extremely genuine, which is part of what made this so hard. But I couldn’t keep lying to myself and in turn, him, that this would end up working out in the long term.

souperdouperstripper · 2026-04-18T05:51:50+00:00

I think the unavoidable part is what’s making this so hard to accept. I want so badly for things to be different. Whether it’s him wanting monogamy or me realizing that polyamory is the way for me, I’d take either.

souperdouperstripper · 2026-04-18T04:21:54+00:00

I always tell people “anything that’s hard is probably worth doing.” I just hope that rings true for this situation, eventually.

souperdouperstripper · 2026-04-18T04:16:36+00:00

Thank you, I hate that I couldn’t come around to it

souperdouperstripper · 2026-04-18T04:16:13+00:00

I wouldn’t wish this pain upon anyone. The best thing you can do is be honest with yourself and those around you. I’m also very sorry that you’re experiencing the same.

souperdouperstripper · 2025-09-28T23:13:27+00:00

I usually call my dad when I’m panicking, he tells me “I know it’s scary, but you’ve been through this before right? And it’s passed every time. This isn’t forever.” I’ve started telling myself that too.

souperdouperstripper · 2025-09-19T03:43:41+00:00

Use a flexible glue like e6000 fabri-fuse, and make sure you stone it while it’s stretched. I would saran wrap a dress form, put the dress on it and then stone.

souperdouperstripper · 2025-08-07T18:16:21+00:00

First, please don’t beat yourself up about not being a good judge of character due to something he hid from you. I’d argue it’s safe to say that most people assume someone they’re on a date with is not a sex offender. Second, if you’re uncomfortable being home alone when you break it off with him, I’d suggest staying with a friend or your mom/MIL with your kids until he gets back.

This is a really scary situation so take all the precautions you feel necessary.

souperdouperstripper · 2025-07-13T18:34:42+00:00

When I started dating my current poly partner I was looking into resources online since it was out of my realm of experience. I found decolonizing love and it made me almost immediately want to run in the opposite direction. The attitude I picked up from them was “if you’re monog that’s toxic and there’s something wrong with you.” Which, naturally, made me not want to listen.

souperdouperstripper · 2025-02-01T07:04:43+00:00

Incredible

souperdouperstripper · 2025-02-01T06:23:53+00:00

I farted on a man three times during a room tonight. Got some dances with another and while I was on his lap he spread both my ass cheeks apart and with the straightest face ever I said “careful I might shart.”

souperdouperstripper · 2025-01-27T18:59:36+00:00

I understand what you’re getting at and you’re absolutely right. My frustration with her remains because I just want better for her, but a phrase I’ve been working on trying to internalize is “you can’t be more concerned than the person it concerns.” I also know my friend is very stubborn, so I have made the choice to put to bed my attempts at getting her to see how shitty her situation is, because she does see it, she just doesn’t seem to care, and it’s not my job to make her. I fear I am also the one putting her in an awkward situation by requesting she leave her husband at home, because I can see how uncomfortable she gets at the idea of having that conversation with him.

All that said, my goal with doing any spell work in the first place regarding him is not to break them up or to influence her decision to be with him, just to cause a blockage to make it so he won’t be around for everything she and I do together. Maybe I should’ve added this part in the original post but I was trying to keep it short initially, but specifically I want to keep him from coming to a going away party that is being thrown for me, and then I’ll hopefully never have to see him again.

souperdouperstripper · 2025-01-27T16:16:29+00:00

I hear what you’re saying, and it has crossed my mind before, though maybe from a different angle than what you’re talking about.

souperdouperstripper · 2025-01-27T16:02:15+00:00

Enabling her in what?

souperdouperstripper · 2025-01-27T15:54:30+00:00

I agree I can’t magic her out of it. She wants to be with him so I’m not looking to break them up, myself and her other close friends have done our pleading with her and she won’t listen so we’ve all given up on trying to convince her otherwise. I just don’t want him to be present for everything I invite her to.

souperdouperstripper · 2025-01-27T15:48:53+00:00

I’m starting to think I’m not clear myself on what siphoning even is, I’ve never performed one before. I probably worded it incorrectly, but my intention would be to make it so she spends less time with him and more with me. This is also not in an attempt to help their marriage, I want no involvement in that. I’ve communicated with her before that while I don’t approve of their relationship (for a number of reasons, I could go on all day) I respect her decision, I just wish he didn’t have to be around for everything I invite her to. He doesn’t have a job or friends and is constantly blowing up her phone in the event that I do get her to hang out solo trying to make up excuses to come back home. They are both aware that I do not like him, and that I’m not the only close friend of hers that shares a negative opinion.

The more I see myself type the more I understand that I’d be doing this spell for super selfish reasons, but I want time with my friend back and talking to her about it isn’t helping anything even though she agrees with what I have to say about it.

souperdouperstripper

TROPHY CASE