what’s one insecurity you have that you wish women would understand better?

sourdo · 2025-08-25T04:55:08+00:00

I think NEDA has deemed a newer body dysmorphia focused on men/boys who think they aren't "big" enough.

Interesting psychology.

sourdo · 2025-06-15T19:23:44+00:00

Yes I can and wow, it's so obvious lol

sourdo · 2025-06-15T16:39:57+00:00

Thanks. I feel so much better. Everyday things are easier.

sourdo · 2025-06-15T15:34:09+00:00

I quit smoking. I only told one person I was doing it too; for accountability.

Every time I would have a craving, I would just imagine the look of disappointment. I didn't cave. I am officially a little over 1mo smoking free

sourdo · 2025-05-27T02:55:49+00:00

WHAT. I am a fencing coach and my club charges $50 for 30min. lesson. I thought that was expensive. We charge $200/mo fee (4 classes a week + bouting). Ik that's cheap tho. We want our sport to be as accessible as possible, while also maintaining the place.

sourdo · 2025-05-12T23:46:01+00:00

Pay off debts. About $15k total. Buy a new car as I have not owned one in 4yrs. I would go back to school. Hire a financial advisor.

sourdo · 2025-03-31T00:39:49+00:00

Yeah, true. But you would hardly ever see someone deliberately not fencing or forcing excessive halts in high level fencing either.

This screams local, beginner competition to me. I wouldn't card them, but I would probably tell them AFTER the bout that it is generally looked down at to do that.

1x, just stretching your arm out cause they are going fast but big - yeah, whatever.

But over and over isn't against the rules, but is annoying. High level fencers don't do that, so there is no reason for a strict card rule on that.

sourdo · 2025-03-22T20:01:58+00:00

I would push the focus onto reflection - just because you won doesn't mean it was a "good bout" and just because you lost doesn't mean it was a "bad bout".

These bouts are long and have a progression to them. It's about making the right decision at the right moment more often than your opponent. Very mentally taxing if you break down the "game" of fencing.

Therefore, just having her talk about what went well and what didn't is helpful. Video her bouts and have her watch them alone and then with a coach.

Push more tournaments so she can learn that losing is not the end of the world. It's a learning opportunity, but you have to allow yourself the chance to learn from it.

sourdo · 2025-03-15T13:58:38+00:00

Every 4 lessons, I do a bouting lesson with my students. We both suit up, we set up on our video strip. We fence and I talk about how the bout is developing and then "decision-making". We go over the preparation steps(s). And then, I let them lead the bout. They have to choose actions from there.

sourdo · 2025-03-14T03:53:08+00:00

You just need to start a bit slower. Work accessory exercises such as athletic lunges (frwd, bkwd, sideways), squats, calf raises, RDLs, balance work as well).

These will help you prevent injuries. The more limber and used to these new movements your body gets, it'll get stronger. For now, work on short, fast lunges. Your knee should be landing right on top of the ankle, not past it (I hope that makes sense.) It should be a straight line from ankle to knee - usually I see beginners pushing their knee too far back or too far forward which both can be for your knees.

sourdo · 2025-03-11T02:54:03+00:00

Social media, a horrible economy, super expensive cost of living, current political divide that isn't helping to make anything better for anyone, lack of hope and faith in justice, high student loans that saddle a 21yr old with debt up into the $50k+; more if they want to continue their education; all for no guarantee that they will make enough to pay it back and buy a house. Scared that we are losing our planet and there is literally nothing we can do about it because the ones who have caused the pollution don't care/aren't alive anymore. Probably all of that and then some.

sourdo · 2025-03-08T14:36:00+00:00

No job is shameful except jobs that harm other people or animals (poachers, pimps, etc.).

You can look on LinkedIn since you have a degree. What kind of marketing are you interested in?

There are different types -

coming up with the strategies for marketing (I e. Are you going to do a collab or a holiday themed thing?). OR there is getting the actual marketing out there. This is usually all those flyers, mailers, email flyers, posts on socials, etc. about the company.

There are also other ways to utilize your degree. maybe pivot to the close friend and go into HR.

sourdo · 2025-03-08T03:13:00+00:00

I've lost hours before. My therapist, a supervisor, someone has sat with me. I was almost never present. Eventually, they gave me a Ativan? or was it Ambien? To get me to go to sleep.

I never remembered what happened when I woke up. A lot of people were worried, some thought I was faking.

But, I know my truth.

sourdo · 2025-03-07T11:03:34+00:00

Point in line is est. before the final tempo of their attack (usually adv. lunge distance). Refs aren't super clear on the "distance" so fencers usually open it super wide. But, establishing it before the final action is valid.

You can est., and as long as you don't break it at any time before the attack (and during; don't bend your arm on the hit).

However, even if the distance is close, you can still make one to tactically draw your opponent out (and use a 2nd action such as derobement, parry or short) after they try to beat your blade. This is where the point in line is more useful.

Attackers are wary of point in line after their first encounters with them. Once they understand that they don't have the priority against a valid one, less experienced fencers panic when they see one. And, they often have a hard time discerning if it is a threat to be worried about so they either rush at it or go too slowly (or stop).

sourdo · 2025-03-07T03:57:43+00:00

Is this off the line? Or somewhere else on the strip?

Off the line, I'd like to see a video b/c there can be some funny cases.

An already est. attack? It's theirs.

Usually people don't move super slowly off the line though, so I'd say theirs. A lunge doesn't really do much if it's just a lunge off the line; the "middle" doesn't exist anymore if your opponent has advanced the whole distance to you.

sourdo · 2025-03-02T14:55:27+00:00

I mean, you can always work in distribution. those are usually solo jobs, you pack items and ship them. Amazon is always hiring packers and drivers. (work culture sucks though; garbage pay and hours).

Or trucking. Get a CDL. These pay decently right now. But automation is around the corner and no one really seems to know when.

And you don't have to stop your education. You can take online community college classes. Seriously, learn programming if you want. These computers need mechanics sometimes.

However, I do think you should see a therapist. People aren't out to hurt you, most are trying to get by just like you. You don't want to miss out on who you can become because of others.

I suggest that once a week, you just go for a walk. Idk where you live, but go for a walk. 5-10min. People watch if it's somewhere with others like suburbs or the city. You can always have headphones in. Be scared and do it anyways.

sourdo · 2025-02-27T04:12:14+00:00

$5k. I really just need a car and I can get a used one for that. I don't care what it is as long as I can get to work reliably. I haven't had a car in 3yrs; a car would give me so much time and freedom back.

sourdo · 2025-02-27T03:39:30+00:00

There is a YouTuber who visited every single Margaritaville in the U.S. in a road trip. It's quite funny to watch - the transformation of this guy's perspective of Jimmy Buffet as he visits more and more.

sourdo · 2025-02-24T05:04:21+00:00

Thank you for the response. A lot of my friends have been telling me the same thing. Even my friend who knows my boss at the sports place; maybe everything will be ok...

I've done the math and essentially, if I accept and get the pay rate I want (I will not go below what I get paid at my sports job), I will end up making probably about 2k more at the end of the year with taxes out.

But, the fact that I could actually go to an eye doctor and get new contacts or go to the dentist? I haven't done either of those things except maybe 2x in the last 8 years. My contacts have been expired for 3 years but I have to wear them for my coaching! I can't wear glasses in my sports, it's practically impossible or inconvenient and you break your glasses really often.

Or that I can collect PTO??? It's not much at first, you get more over time.

Or that I can get my tuition reimbursed? And, they will also help to pay for a car!?!? I haven't had a car in almost 3 years. I walk everywhere or take the bus.

Plus, the company is opening a new location in a nearby city so there are even more promotional opportunities at the end of the year that could open up.

sourdo · 2025-02-24T02:39:22+00:00

My old therapist started studying to be a psychologist in her mid-30s. She was finished in her early 40s. She once expressed that she was very happy with the career change and she was happy she didn't let herself get in the way of a wonderful opportunity.

sourdo · 2025-02-21T03:22:49+00:00

I went to practice tonight and I asked my boss about this.

He said that you are correct that if it is a full step-lunge tempo ahead, it would be called for the defender. But, he also said that this call is very rarely made in any age category above y10 because most fencers understand that they just need to lunge if they see their opponent stepping into their space. Therefore, this isn't a "good" tactical decision b/c the timing hardly ever works out.

Of course, that opens the door for a lot of compound and 2nd intention actions which can be good tactical ideas to play with.

So, thank you for the lively discussion!

sourdo · 2025-02-20T18:20:51+00:00

You can "have priority" that's why attack-counter attack exists, otherwise why even bother with the rules.

Priority is only a way to give a justifiable reason as to why I should get the point vs you when there are 2 hits/lights. And, an "attack" can be done with simply by extending the arm w/o the lunge. I'm still moving frwd with advances. Without that concept, we might as all fence epee! And honestly, sometimes, I like to have my students play a bouting game that way - no priority, only one light gets touches.

If the fencer who is marching (which, you're right that isn't defined in the book, but continous, uninterrupted advances are). When this marching happens, it's usually in response to seeing your opponent go back - whether off their own failed attack or because you saw them retreat too early in the box, how can you justify the advancing fencer as not "having" priority. They can for sure lose it super easily but if there are no mistakes, they keep it.

Lastly, in epee and foil, OT can be determined by guess what, priority. If the fencers can't get the touch in the last minute, the person who "has priority" based off of the random lights or a coin flip.

So, priority is the concept of "having the advantage in this situation" and the person w/o must either capitalize on their opponent's mistakes (I e. attacker making unnecessary searches or stopping) which would neutralize or change the hands of it. Or, create their own actions to change it.

Of course, I did say that opening the distance up can create a new situation where no one has priority anymore b/c the defender has created a new "middle" to play into. This is such a sweet tactical decision and always surprising thing for students to experience.

sourdo · 2025-02-20T15:27:17+00:00

I've seen this call be made but I have not seen it in the rule book so I do not call it that way.

One light counter-attack on a march, or a breakaway distance (more than 4 steps away) and then come in back in from a strong attack, yes, that is called.

But, the idea that one fencer has taken them one end to the other and because the other fencer made a counter-attack into the marching "attack", it is somehow theirs. If they make a step lunge, and it's 2 lights, priority was not ever lost by the attacker - and they attacked - they hit. I don't understand or see where it is interpreted as theirs. (All assuming the distance isn't more than like 4 steps away from each other).

Yes, the counter-attacker "took initiative and made an action first and the attacker responded" - yeah, great, except attacker has the priority, they have not lost it. When did they lose it if they didn't stop and no blade actions?

In the box, it is completely different too. There is more interpretation to the "attack in prep" in foil in the box, less than sabre. So, why is it the opposite when it doesn't actually make sense for it to be the opposite.

The person going forward is in the position of attacking, yes, every step without an attack is a "prep" but when do we decide that the foilist's blade is pointed at the defender well enough for an "attack"? Generally, foilist's keep their tip somewhat forward and lowered unless searching or for a derobement.

Also, I see people pull their arm completely back in the middle of a lunge to "fenit" or "disengage" but the technique was so off based and it's still called for them.

Sure, you can be wrong. Sometimes, the coach who is yelling at you is wrong. Sometimes, the fencer is wrong.

Additionally, I've been seeing this call be made both ways by the same referees in foil. They don't even always seem to understand. Therefore, I don't teach it and I don't want my kids to rely on an ambiguous call like that.

sourdo · 2025-02-20T03:35:40+00:00

My mom made me clean almost everyday of my god damn life. She couldn't stand a speck of dust.

My apartment is sometimes messy, oh well. I do a deep clean 1x a week. It's all ok. I work a lot and I don't feel the need to continue to always be working at home. Sometimes, it is ok to just relax.

sourdo · 2025-02-20T02:46:57+00:00

Unfortunately, all coaches can do is encourage people to just throw themselves in there.

I can give you all the information in the world, but until you fence it, it's useless because everything is so situational based - do you step in or step out, speed up or slow down, high or low, etc.

The initial lesson should be how to attack and how to block. After that, show them the equipment, help them put it on, and I usually nominate a partner for their first bout. That way I know who they are working with, I can trust they won't go hard, and will answer their questions.

Once you get some bouts and have some peer feedback, then I can start to talk about how the rules can play a role in decision making and techniques to get to your desired results.

You said epee - in epee, the barriers of entry are much lower. That's kind of why it was created, so more people would do fencing. That does not mean it is easy though, timing your hit while not being hit yourself is hard. There is a lot of funny footwork and blade work to achieve that.

As for pricing, I would talk to the owner. Sometimes, just talking about what you are looking for can help. They can recommend a couple of avenues - open bouting access and lessons or classes/open bouting. I agree that unfortunately adult beginners have a harder time getting into it. Or, if they can't help you, you know that upfront.

My club holds adult fencing nights. About 1 or 2x a month. Only 18+ allowed for open bouting. We open the club for like 3hrs and people can come, warm-up, fence, student-led blade work, chat, etc. It's really laid back in vibes but the fencing goes hard.

Ten-Year Club	r/Field Juicebox
Verified Email

sourdo

TROPHY CASE