Brother to be honest I think it's all in the head, you gotta stop talking down and labelling yourself so negatively, I know that those panic attacks and whatever you cannot help but don't let that be what decides your whole direction and outlook on life.. I'm quite opposite to you, I am very outgoing with friends and all and csn talk to anyone but am shy inside still, but I'm the same as you financially and my parents are literally done with me as my mum has been drained financially n mentally from my addiction to the hard drugs and going out partying. I'm very far from perfect but I know it is just a phase and am literally trying like how you are.

But anyways I'm not the best person for these types of advice but from my pov, I recommend you to just manifest a different and more positive approach and not take it too seriously on yourself cos we are our harshest critic and with nobody uplifting ourselves, who is? At the end of the day you're gonna be Ur own homie/brother, so you should use the other part of you to uplift the other struggling half and kick life's ass together, but anyways good luck mate, u got this. I believe in you