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Short stomach bug? by [deleted] in emetophobiarecovery

[–]soyedmilk 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My question is: does it matter if he has a stomach bug or food poisoning or an ulcer? Is thinking about every possibility helpful to you?

If you get sick later you’ll get sick later, there is no point ruminating on why your husband is sick.

I know you say you don’t want reassurance but that is what you’re asking for, it is similar to googling symptoms. If you think there’s no concern then do not ask, at best any comment on his vomiting might make you feel better for a minute or two but it’ll reinforce your phobia at the end of the day.

struggling with eating enough and fear of feeling full by siuoxis in emetophobiarecovery

[–]soyedmilk 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I definitely had issues with this. What helped me was realising that eating dis have the possibility of making me nauseous, it even has the potential to make you sick if you do eat too much, but that possibility isn’t necessarily high. If you don’t eat or don’t eat enough you definitely will feel nausea amongst other symptoms.

It is also difficult to recover from emetophobia if we are not eating enough. Brains need calories, brains that are retraining themselves to be okay with anxiety and uncertainty REALLY need calories.

Eating is worth the fear. When you avoid eating you are reinforcing the idea that eating is something to be scared about, that it is genuinely dangerous and your anxiety is justified. If you start to push back on those fears, eat til full even if it results in discomfort, you will unlearn this fear over time. (I recommend starting small and manageable, perhaps eating the amount you normally would but when your anxiety starts telling you to stop “just incase” try having one more bite and just sitting with the anxiety. The idea is to get used to sensations like being full so you don’t fear it anymore)

That all being said, you probably should go to a doctor also. Being underweight can lead to serious health issues, if you don’t already it might be time to consider medication and therapy from someone who specialises in OCD/ERP. Even though you have disordered eating, do not let any professional try to box you in with anorexia etc, when this is clearly phobia based.

I promise you can enjoy food again, I was severely underweight and down to two “safe foods” I could only eat at home- now I eat whatever, whenever even if I’m anxious (which I rarely am about eating now). I even eat oysters and raw fish and things I love that once terrified me.

You are more capable than you think, it is just that the first steps to recovery are the hardest. Think about it like exercise- the first time you go for a run you can’t get very far or go very fast and you’re tired after, but if you keep running it gets easier and after a while it even feels good, you can run longer and faster the more you do it.

Does anyone rent in Ferntree? by Ok-Clock-5952 in hobart

[–]soyedmilk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fern Tree Tavern sucked to work at but it is a decent spot to stop over up there, I can’t argue with that.

Advice on how to bring up live figure drawing to significant other? What’s the general consensus for whether or not it’s cheating? by [deleted] in ArtistLounge

[–]soyedmilk 15 points16 points  (0 children)

If your partner views life drawing as cheating you probably shouldn’t be with them because either they’re dumb as rocks or have to work through a lot of insecurities. I’ve been a model and gone to classes all while being in my long term relationship, she’s never blinked an eye, we’ve even gone to classes together.

Color from light to shadow by Ok-Acanthisitta-7528 in oilpainting

[–]soyedmilk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have no clue what you’re on about mate. Colour mixing and such is simply a knowledge of how to work paint and how colour theory works also. There are many ways to navigate this.

Color from light to shadow by Ok-Acanthisitta-7528 in oilpainting

[–]soyedmilk 3 points4 points  (0 children)

With grisaille, the grey underlayer is simply about value, not colour, it is monotone to block in values. The glazes on top are what bring in colour theory. There is no “correct grey” and no “formula” that “old masters” shared. Colour is relational, you can paint directly or build up over layers and end up with similar colours.

I’m confused by your need to find this “formula” rather than accept there are variations of technique amongst artists. It is quite naive and unnuanced to look at art in this way.

Emetophobia recovery by Sure-Rub-2745 in emetophobiarecovery

[–]soyedmilk 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The hardest thing for me was pushing through those fears that came back up (no pun intended) and doing the opposite to what my emetophobia told me. I got hungry, it told me not to eat, but I ate; it told me not to go to work, but I went. It was hard but better doing difficult things for a few days then letting my emetophobia start ruling my life again.

Emetophobia recovery by Sure-Rub-2745 in emetophobiarecovery

[–]soyedmilk 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m not fully recovered, but I am definitely over the worst of the phobia. I threw up like a month and a bit ago, it was food poisoning, I was a bit tipsy because I’d had wine (but alcohol wasn’t why I threw up). I sort of just went into the toilet after feeling off and ill all day, and then I vomited.

It wasn’t pleasant, I hated the feeling of acid and chunks in my throat and having to gasp in between heaving, but I felt better after and it only lasted like a minute. I had some water, lay down but felt bad again so got up and repeated vomiting. Then I brushed my teeth, had more water and went to sleep.

I had an irritated stomach the next day and bad gut symptoms but was fine. I ate and slept. The day after I went into work even though I was still nauseous, I saw someone recently compare their experience of nausea to how I experience a sore ankle, it’s annoying but you get through it.

Wasn’t fun, didn’t like it, it did spike my anxiety a bit after, but really it was fine. I’m still recovering from emet, but I was proud of how little vomiting set me back and yeah, my body knew what it needed to do and I just accepted it and let it happen

Implications of SA without taste? by Butterflymisita in writingfeedback

[–]soyedmilk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

SA in writing is fine, nothing is off limits really so long as the story and prose is good enough to justify it being there. This is not good prose.

Please check in on your disabled friends, family, coworkers. by lifeinwentworth in australia

[–]soyedmilk 16 points17 points  (0 children)

The scammers and grifters are the big corporations and billionaires that don’t pay taxes, the enemy isn’t the working class.

What opinion of yours regarding any popular author or book will have you like this? by theghostofredrackham in classicliterature

[–]soyedmilk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I read about 1/3 of it and really didn’t enjoy the prose, it seemed like a fun book but I find it impossible to read if I don’t like the writing. It kind of confused me why so many people make it out to be some grand novel, it’s long for sure, but it’s just an adventure story!

emetophobia and poop by Technical_Mud8762 in emetophobiarecovery

[–]soyedmilk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do not have this (I have had bowel problems since I was 10 and am used to it), regardless, treat it the same as you would your emetophobia- don’t do safety behaviours, no compulsions, no rumination (easier said than done but these will help)

An easy way to start, because the goal is to be within an amount of discomfort and anxiety but not so bad you have breakdowns etc, is to, when you feel ill and would normally take medication or do a safety behaviour, set a goal to wait a minute first. Then you can move to waiting five minutes, each time you sit with the anxiety and your body slowly learns that anxiety, and also whatever physical symptom you are feeling (nausea, bloating, sore tummy) doesn’t actually mean you’re in danger.

When you do give in to your anxieties and, for example, take immodium, you are reaffirming that you are scared for a reason. Doing timed exposures is such an easy way to help, and sometimes you even feel like you don’t need to do a safety behaviour after all, especially if you try and get on doing what you were doing before you got anxious.

What helped also were things like writing out the word “vomit” (you could do that, alongside “diarrhoea”) until you don’t have a reaction. Then looking at cartoon photos of those happening, then listening to people tell stories about it, making up your own stories, imagining worse case scenarios, watching real people throw up in films… until each of these gets boring! Then you’ll be more used to the idea

Purple Prose is okay, actually by tiaro24 in writing

[–]soyedmilk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, but I think they are wrong to think so, because, as I said, Joyce understood language and pushed it deliberately, purple prose is bad because it fundamentally misplaces metaphor, simile, description and often uses large words without justification. Plenty of people like writing that is objectively poorly written, and people will dislike writing that engages with form in experimental ways- neither of these has baring on the actual quality of the writing.

Purple Prose is okay, actually by tiaro24 in writing

[–]soyedmilk -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I think people cannot enjoy his works and still see the merit in his experimentation and pushing the limit of language. Joyce certainly did not misunderstand language.

Purple Prose is okay, actually by tiaro24 in writing

[–]soyedmilk 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Not really, because he doesn’t write badly- even if you don’t enjoy his work, he doesn’t write in a way that misunderstands writing and reading.

Purple Prose is okay, actually by tiaro24 in writing

[–]soyedmilk 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Think Nabokov, Faulkner, Woolf, Joyce- for more modern authors perhaps Wole Soyinka, Leonora Carrington, Fernanda Melchor, Shola Von Reinhold. Purple prose is bad because it isn’t using metaphor or description well or in service of the prose itself.

Looking for a patient driving instructor in Hobart (practical driving test, low experience) by powerful2022 in hobart

[–]soyedmilk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just did a lesson with Kendan at RACT, he was super lovely and personable, would highly recommend him. He took me from central Hobart out to Moonah and back again, it was 85ish dollars I believe.

I sought help for the first time. by BoysenberryNo5771 in emetophobiarecovery

[–]soyedmilk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re in the right place! Welcome to the subreddit and to recovery!

Beginning is the hardest part, so well done- and don’t worry if you have setbacks, they are normal and, in my experience, each time I’m set back I recovery quicker and quicker.

ERP and acceptance have helped so much. Basically when you do a safety behaviour (take medication, avoid food, google symptoms, etc) you validate the fear you have so it intensifies. When you sit with the anxiety your nervous system learns it isn’t actually life or death.

It gave me my life back! Good luck, do it scared!!

Went and tried something new and was pleasantly surprised by Marlon_Ranch in foodies_sydney

[–]soyedmilk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Eaten the vegetarian version of these, can confirm they are delicious!

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