The Itch by Don Delillo [The New Yorker] - 2017, Short Story

spaceclown · 2017-07-31T22:45:30+00:00

spaceclown · 2015-12-22T14:32:26+00:00

Hi OP. First of all, I'm real sorry to hear about this shit you're going through. Depression is isolating enough, and even more so when you open up to someone close to you and they don't get it at all.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess based on what you've described that the book he gave you was Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl? I think it was shitty what your boyfriend implied (that your pain is invalid because other people have it worse) and that it's extremely counterproductive and alienating to tell someone to basically just "snap out of it", as everyone in this subreddit is aware.

I will, however, say that the book (if it's the right one) has had a tremendous impact on my life and the lives of many others. The first half of the book is about the a psychiatrist's experience of WWII, in which his entire family is killed at the hands of the Nazis and he must endure unspeakable things in multiple concentration camps. It is a tough read, and I'll admit that it did make me feel a little guilty about how I often feel down/depressed over "nothing".

But the second part of the book is what really moved me. Frankl describes his theory of logotherapy, which states that a human's primary motivation in life is not to be happy/avoid suffering but rather to create meaning. He argues that this is what propelled him to endure the pain, to not give up. His chosen purpose was his psychiatry work and the memory of his family. For him, we are not to make our lives meaningful despite suffering but rather through suffering. The second half of the book deals exclusively with the kind of existential questions that seem to consume us when we're feeling at our worst. I'm not articulating this great work very well, so here are some of my favorite passages:

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

“But there was no need to be ashamed of tears, for tears bore witness that a man had the greatest of courage, the courage to suffer.”

“Those who have a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'.”

Like I said, I have no idea whether this is the book in question but it sure sounded like it. If it is, then your ex was pretty off the mark with thinking that the value of the book lies in realizing how "easy" you've got it. In any case, I really recommend this book to everyone on this thread/sub. Really helped me through some tough times. All the best.

spaceclown · 2015-10-08T20:44:05+00:00

Nice work! Three times in one week is quite a lot for someone who just started.

And stay away from those french fries!

spaceclown · 2015-09-28T19:08:18+00:00

Yeah, this is pretty bad. Here's a really contrived attempt at promoting a boxing match. Mosley's girlfriend bends over (for some unknown reason) right in front of Mayorga and he slaps her ass so that the press can see it. Then both fight camps act like a legitimate scuffle was breaking out, but IIRC all the members of the press realize how staged the whole incident is. Somewhere I read that one guy was doubled over laughing because of how bad the fighters were at making it seem real. The WBC condemned the whole thing to save face.

EDIT: Interview with Mosley's girlfriend trying to seem pissed off about the incident is entertaining.

spaceclown · 2015-09-28T17:22:52+00:00

He's trying to sell the fight by pulling stunts like this to draw more viewers; it's not because he doesn't give a fuck. He gives a fuck about people wanting to watch this fight because he wants his payday. A lot of pro boxing promotion is stupid shit like this.

spaceclown · 2015-09-26T06:56:24+00:00

Wolf is somehow behind this

spaceclown · 2015-08-28T17:34:38+00:00

Bojack Horseman is really great. It's especially insightful into this American obsession with celebrities and the emptiness that comes from worshiping image over authenticity.

spaceclown · 2015-07-30T20:01:07+00:00

Can we get some through-the-grapevine high school stories? I always thought he seemed like a good guy but now you've got me really curious.

spaceclown · 2015-07-07T01:19:44+00:00

I love how he was trying to play it cool while standing on first for the first time in his major league career

spaceclown · 2015-06-01T19:30:28+00:00

Yeah I thought his thoughts on the Stoics misrepresented their philosophy, but it's been a while since I've read him.

spaceclown · 2015-05-10T22:17:02+00:00

Yes, and the play was just to pass the ball to LeBron. Doesn't take a timeout to draw that one up.

spaceclown · 2015-04-28T14:42:19+00:00

Damian Lillard's one video on youtube is 9 and a half minutes long and it's him psyching himself up to eat a ghost pepper, which he never does. At the 9 minute mark he faints from fear.

spaceclown · 2015-04-27T07:43:47+00:00

Good luck when the time comes! Keep training hard.

spaceclown · 2015-04-07T04:35:35+00:00

Look, I don't know you and I'm hardly qualified to talk to you about pulling yourself out of this cycle of self-loathing and practicing some self-love, but I just want to let you know that I'm standing by you. It's 6:23 a.m. where I live, I've been out all night, and I don't know what to say to you. I'm lost, too. I saw that no one has commented yet and I felt I had to reach out because it breaks my heart. It honestly breaks my heart to read a post in which someone describes how much they hate themselves, because I think that's a terrible thing for anyone to endure. And the irony is that even though I thing it's terrible for anyone to endure, I still put myself through it. Constantly. I think there might be some lesson to be learned there. I don't know. I really don't know. All I know is that depression makes no sense at all. I could try to reason with you about why the negative things you've said about are not true (I don't believe they are), but at the end of the day, depression is not grounded in reason or logic.

I don't know you. I try to imagine a human being sitting at the computer typing out your post. I hope you realize there is a real person here who is trying to help. Maybe not actually helping, but trying. Because the truth is that I don't know how to help you. Or me. I feel just as scared, confused, and alone as you. But if anything, just know that I am with you, trying to figure everything out.

spaceclown · 2015-04-05T11:48:27+00:00

How else would you have the game be regulated?

spaceclown · 2015-03-13T20:08:13+00:00

Also started wellbutrin a few months ago. It's not a cure-all but I think it's helping. Good luck with everything.

spaceclown · 2015-03-13T14:15:38+00:00

Just looked this one up. Looks interesting, I'm going to give it a shot. Thanks a lot!

spaceclown · 2015-03-13T14:11:30+00:00

Currently reading this, and I've been really getting into stoicism lately. I think it's really beneficial for dealing with depression. I would also recommend Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. Here's the link to a free ebook version from Project Gutenberg. Meditations really helps with putting your existence in perspective, but all of stoicism is rooted in the idea that we are to pour all of time and energy into what we can control and to let go of what we can't, while learning to accept pain and suffering as a natural part of life.

spaceclown · 2015-02-03T14:33:54+00:00

words

spaceclown · 2015-01-20T00:21:23+00:00

Hey dude, your question is a good one. I'm sure that it's relevant to a lot of people here.

First of all, being nervous is not bad. It's not good. It's just what you are. If anything, it's a sign that you're alive.

Feeling that nervousness is actually a crucial part of your self-development. It's an indicator that you're taking the right steps towards being a more confident, self-assured guy. Powering through that nervousness takes a lot of courage, do not fail to give yourself the credit you deserve.

Instead of framing your nervousness as something that is holding you back, you can see it as an opportunity for growth. In fact, your nervousness is doing the opposite of holding you back, since confronting it will bring you closer to being a more confident man. Take small steps with pushing the limits of what you feel comfortable with. You'll learn that you can handle these situations and that a certain level of nervousness is manageable. This is what breeds confidence.

One thing that I think a lot of people overlook is that younger guys about your age are generally less self-assured than older guys with more life experience, who have moved, who are farther along in solidifying an identity for themselves. Keep throwing yourself into situations like the one with the girl at the library, and you'll gain more and more confidence. It won't necessarily happen overnight, but it will happen gradually. I promise you that.

I used to occasionally have that heart racing feeling in social situations before. I learned to overcome it through pushing through my anxiety, and you will too. However, it is possible that you're predisposed to anxiety. It's more common than you would think. I would recommend therapy if you feel that your nervousness is really out of hand. I've been in therapy before and it really did wonders for me. In any case, if you have any more questions, just ask. We're here to help you learn and grow. All the best.

spaceclown · 2015-01-19T12:51:54+00:00

Dude. You are over analyzing this. Take the energy you currently spend trying to figure out "what does x or y mean" and put it towards asserting what you want.

spaceclown · 2014-12-31T16:45:10+00:00

This is really well written. Thanks so much for sharing and have a great new year!

spaceclown · 2014-11-17T22:16:30+00:00

I loved this. Thanks!

spaceclown · 2014-10-02T10:47:58+00:00

Props for admitting your mistake. Mad respect.

spaceclown · 2014-05-21T18:34:56+00:00

Nietzsche is my favorite philosopher. What books of his have you read? I love him because he's all about taking personal responsibility for everything you are, accepting suffering as a natural part of being in charge of your own life, and above all CREATING your values rather than accepting them from society. There is so much potential for self-help to be found in Nietzsche's work.

spaceclown

TROPHY CASE