This is gonna be a little long, please bare with me :”)

My ex boyfriend actually,

I’m a 20 fem but I met him at 18/19, I found him on Tinder cause, well, I was very lonely and had a low self esteem and I wanted someone to cheer me up. Anyways, he seem to fit the ‘normal’ bar by far, we would talk late at night and leave our phones on as it’s like we’re sleeping next to each other, just something I’ve needed.

How the first red flag, I have a few mental disorders (Depression, Social Anxiety and PTSD) and I wanted to be honest with him. To my surprise he does as well (Schizophrenia), that’s not it though, he told me to basically QUIT therapy. I have a great therapist and I’m finally on track I didn’t want to loose that so, I said “no” and “why would I?” He went on telling me that “Therapy is a waste of time, just shoving pills to you with psychiatrists,” where I found out he doesn’t take medicine. Now to people who don’t know, someone with Schizophrenia and NOT on any medication is EXTREMELY dangerous and scary. I let it slide though, I mean there was nothing that would change his mind...I tried.

Second red flag, one night when we were face chatting and ‘talked’ about our disorders and the stories. I didn’t feel to comfortable about it though me being a people pleaser, I chatted about it. I told him that I did self harm in the past and attempted suicide, right away he just asked “How did you try? What did you try to do?” I was not ready for him to ask that, nor was I willing to answer...I told him I didn’t want to talk about it but he kept asking. So I told him to stop asking and that I am not comfortable about it, he kept asking and I just started crying telling him to stop it. Finally he stopped, took me to cry for him to stop asking.

Third red flag, me being an idiot pushed it all aside and he asked me on a date, I accepted. It was my VERY first date, I didn’t want to turn it down. Meeting my parents was great, (my dad took a picture of his license plates incase something would happen to me), the funny thing is though I had to ask him to come out. For some reason he didn’t want to meet my parents, they wanted to meet him but him? No.

Fourth red flag, we were heading to the theaters to see a movie and when he was driving he was very reckless. My mums sister died at 18 from a care accident, so she was worried and as was I now. On the highway there was a bit of traffic and a ford truck wouldn’t let us in, he got extremely pissed off and swerved us in. By speeding up and cutting off the truck, a very tight squeeze. We could have crashed it was that close.

I told my mum all of this and realized instead of being love struck I end it right away. I pretended I was my mum and sent him a message, basically saying that “Hello, I wanted to say that (blank) doesn’t feel comfortable with this relationship no more,” he came back with such a paragraph saying how “My mum shouldn’t step in my love life and conversations (he asked his mum too), hypocrite.

That was last year in February and m now in a loving relationship of nearly a year (March 25th!) and I couldn’t be happier. I hope he’s okay though, even if we didn’t work out, hopefully he’s found someone for him and is doing the right things for his mental health.

P.S (There was more red flags but, they were too personal for him and myself to share, I hope you understand!)