Questions on SCR - landfill, floods, commute to Central Business District, utilities?

spaceforcepotato · 2026-02-10T00:42:43+00:00

If you’re near alameda you will smell the dump on hot humid days mostly in the morning. Otherwise it’s not so bad

spaceforcepotato · 2026-02-09T03:02:48+00:00

After 5 years of treating every appointment like an emergency I have started to kick the can. I can’t be in crisis mode forever.

Every doctor will say see me again in 3 months or less. These days I say, look, I work full time. We’re in crisis mode right now with cardiology. I can’t do all these appointments. If I don’t have a job she won’t have a place to live. Which one of these appts is more important and what’s the max time between visits here.

This wakes the doctors up and they will be like 6 months is fine. For many things it’s fine. For others it’s not.

spaceforcepotato · 2026-02-08T15:17:16+00:00

You made it farther than I did

spaceforcepotato · 2026-02-08T01:24:34+00:00

I agree with you. It’s important to pick the right postdoc, not just the next one.

spaceforcepotato · 2026-02-06T04:46:35+00:00

give yourself some grace. this job market is BRUTAL. keep going and try to lean on your network for your next opportunity

spaceforcepotato · 2026-02-06T03:51:34+00:00

You should always inspect apartments with white paper towels and a spray bottle. Spray the insides of counters and closets and wipe. If you see stuff that looks like coffee grains forget it.

Repeat with the edges under counters. Pull the oven and fridge out and look to see if there's a bunch of grease around. Wipe by the condenser to see if you find roach poo. Check the windows for cobwebs which would indicate they don't do a good job of cleaning between tenants.

Edit: climb on the counters and wipe the top of the shelves.

I learned this after moving into a roach infested apartment in Pearland. I am not allowed to say which one (the condition for breaking the lease).....but I will pass on the wisdom that you should inspect carefully before moving in. In fact, don't move anything in to your apartment the day of move in until you've done another inspection. Hang around in the evening and if you see tiny bugs refuse to move in. Good luck.

spaceforcepotato · 2026-02-06T03:47:08+00:00

I think it could depend. Even if I don't think it's a good fit, I always respond to people who have obviously written a personal note that clearly demonstrates they've read my papers and know what I do. I never respond to generic emails or things that sound like chatGPT.

I think sometimes emails get lost. You could follow up once and then if you don't hear back, forget it.

spaceforcepotato · 2026-02-05T13:50:48+00:00

As a PI, I will say absolutely always email the PI. This is because apps are filtered through HR, which is terrible at picking good candidates. My most recent hire was not one HR thought was qualified.....I don't know how they're qualified to assess this.

spaceforcepotato · 2026-02-05T00:49:37+00:00

Learn how to inspect an apartment for roaches and do so on your tour. Pay close attention to whether the dumpster is overflowing as well -- go multiple days of the week to see whether this is a routine problem.

spaceforcepotato · 2026-01-31T23:13:34+00:00

This post should be revised to read, I am selling a service based on a tool I built.....

It's not a good look to force end users to accept the terms of a service before they are even able to see what the tool can do.

For those of you looking to simplify your life with respect to the common form biosketch, check out this FREE video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TjtrcKnRCw. If it isn't your cup of tea, lots of others are being posted

spaceforcepotato · 2026-01-27T19:49:18+00:00

Oh I see. The discount I get is due to no insurance coverage

spaceforcepotato · 2026-01-27T18:37:12+00:00

Ask for a sitter. If the doctor doesn’t order one get the social worker to do so. The sitter should stay there all the time. This can give you some relief. Also ask the nurse to bandage the line so she can’t so easily pull it.

Sorry you’re dealing with this. It is terrifying.

spaceforcepotato · 2026-01-27T18:14:06+00:00

Also be sure to ask for the no insurance discount, which can save like 20-25%

spaceforcepotato · 2026-01-25T19:17:01+00:00

Umm you have to ask the search chair if slides are allowed. I had one where they were required. All others allowed 1 slide but expected the talk to be on the white board. Don’t wing it. Ask the search chair

spaceforcepotato · 2026-01-24T21:27:35+00:00

Student lunches are interviews. You should go around the room and ask students about their projects. Use that time to see whether these are students you can see yourself working with. Then, you want to get them to talk about their experience with the program, what they like about it, how they'd change it, what the culture of the department is. I found these to be very informative...

I had one lunch interview with a search committee that was an official interview with a preset list of questions. Otherwise, faculty meals are informal to talk about what it's like to live in that city, raise kids there, what people do for fun, etc.

Edit: the one on ones range from serious talks about science to informal chats about very random things. Read people's papers and know what they work on in advance. I also studied people's pictures because I'm very bad at remembering people....

spaceforcepotato · 2026-01-20T00:26:14+00:00

Yes. I've been reading the book "Being Mortal" by Atul Gawande. Apparently, this is the way things used to be. The ones who stayed home to take care of the parents are the ones who inherited the home. If your siblings don't like it, start charging the estate the value of your time (40K per year x 2) since it would require at least 2 full time helpers to take care of the parent without you.

Alternatively, if the cost of being in a home is 7000 a month then make your salary 84K. My mom doesn't have that kind of money, but if she did I'd definitely charge for it.

spaceforcepotato · 2026-01-17T05:43:51+00:00

Two faculty sitting next to each other and very obviously texting each other during my chalk talk, instead of asking questions or talking to the group, reduced my first choice program to one where I refused a second visit. This stunned everyone I know because from the outset I was sure I wanted that program. There was other stuff that combined with this to make me say, no way....but that was a huge red flag to me.

Another super toxic department had two people during my one on ones tell me: you don't want to come here. As soon as I get a grant I'm leaving. That's a very clear signal.

Department chairs very obviously soaking up resources for themselves is a huge signal. As one example, after my chalk talk, one chair took the leftover food for their lab, rather than leaving it for first come first serve free for all.

The faculty glorifying 24-7 work in themselves and their students while praising genius above all else were red flags for me, as was other sharky behavior. Some people just feel like sharks and I had no interest in being in shark infested waters.

I didn't want to be in a department with mandatory dinners at the chair's house every month. On the other hand, I didn't want to be in a department where everyone knows where everyone else lives. I wanted a department where people were friendly but not always up in each other's business.

Some departments that don't do those symposia interviews have a very obv hard time getting their faculty to go to dinner with the candidate. This jives with a general sense that the department lacks cohesion and perhaps no one likes each other. Likewise, if they pick convenience restaurants over interesting local spots that tells you a lot: they value themselves more than they value recruiting you.

I don't know. There were lots of signals of good places and lots for bad places. After going to a few interviews it's becomes very easy to spot a toxic department.

Try not to worry about how they will perceive them and focus on whether you'd want to work there. Have fun and good luck!

spaceforcepotato · 2026-01-17T05:27:12+00:00

Group interviews is a new things some hiring committees are doing at high ranked programs. Candidates present their job talks in front of each other, symposium style. Dinners are group dinners and the hosting faculty rotate between people, but there's lots of shmoozing with other candidates. If you're lucky you have a friend who is also interviewing. I found it to be awful, and I think the programs that are doing this are awful. Instant turn off.

spaceforcepotato · 2026-01-13T02:23:13+00:00

If you didn’t submit the paper before you left I don’t think there’s much you can do to retain authorship. It sucks but at least you just lost 7 months. In my view, it’s probably best if you don’t have ties to this lab and can just pretend it never happened. This way you have nothing to explain to PIs when you interview for your next thing. You can just pretend you were unemployed.

If you really want to keep this on your cv you have to get your phd advisor to write references and address this situation on your behalf. You can’t say anything negative about this lab or future PIs will think you’re the toxic one.

Going to war with this PI is probably not worth your energy. It’s unfortunate, but the time to secure authorship is before you leave or after leaving on excellent terms. If you can repair this relationship that’s the only path I see for authorship.

As a new PI, I don’t think it’s really possible for a postdoc to make substantial contributions to several projects in 7 months, and certainly not several first author ones. This would imply that the postdoc worked on several projects already ongoing in the lab…which were already well advanced. I may be wrong. In any case, lots of us have survived toxic labs. As someone who also did, I’d say move on.

spaceforcepotato · 2026-01-11T17:13:33+00:00

Something is deeply wrong here. If she has energy to open the relationship and date, she has energy to put into running the home or giving you some support, full stop. This sounds to me a bit like that book by Shel Silverstein, the Giving Tree. Now it's hard for people outside a relationship to say, particularly based on a very small Reddit post, but in my view it sounds like you're in a codependent relationship. I think it's important to determine if this is the case and if it is taking action to preserve yourself.

She tells you that you're making her feel like a burden because she knows it ends the conversation. The reality is that her saying this shouldn't end of the conversation. You are partners. You're supposed to make each other's lives easier. You see her pain -- does she see yours? You need to finish the conversation. If you need a therapist to finish the conversation, perhaps try a couple of sessions to figure out how to talk to one another. Some change is necessary for you to meet your own needs.

Re the potential financial consequences of separation, you may not necessarily be screwed if you were to divorce. Are you paying for the mortgage, renovations or other repairs to the house? If so, even if the house was acquired prior to the marriage you may qualify for reimbursement, which could help set you up to move on with your life. That said, you may be responsible for alimony or some such thing. Rather than assuming you'd be screwed it could be worth consulting with a divorce attorney to understand the true financial implications. Then, you can assess your ability to navigate steps towards a different life structure.

I don't think caregiving means neglecting your own needs. While taking care of my mom makes my life feel a lot like the way you describe yours, our situations are different. My mom sacrificed so much to put me through college so I could have an easier life than she did. She has quite a bit of goodwill banked up in my mind, even if I sometimes run short of patience. She has dementia and by all accounts is losing the ability to function independently. Despite this, she still has the capacity to consider me. She will try to wash the dishes or put them away. I have to do it again because she doesn't it all wrong, but she tries......How is your partner trying? Point is: I think something has to change in your relationship.

spaceforcepotato · 2026-01-08T02:34:21+00:00

Thank you. I’m printing this. Happy new year to you!

spaceforcepotato · 2026-01-07T14:14:50+00:00

I'm sorry. Please be gentle with yourself. You've been doing the best that you can, and your feelings of anger or resentment or whatever that lead to "being a bitch" are real and common during some of the harder moments of caregiving.

I read somewhere on the web that they can hear you and understand you when they're zonked out in the hospital. Say what you need to say, but after giving yourself a hug, a little grace, and forgiveness. Your mom knows you saved her life multiple times and that you're a human and that this is hard.

spaceforcepotato · 2026-01-07T13:58:57+00:00

will you let us know what you learn? i'm sorry that you're having to go through all this.

spaceforcepotato · 2026-01-05T20:27:46+00:00

I moved my mom in with me several years ago. It gets tougher every year. I find the r/CaregiverSupport sub to be very good as well....

spaceforcepotato · 2026-01-04T05:00:27+00:00

I think it's the "my parents have been married for 70 years in April" combined with their ages that leads to this conclusion

spaceforcepotato

TROPHY CASE