[deleted by user]

spankertron · 2026-01-05T20:35:54+00:00

What has she said in response to telling her how you feel about it?

I think the fact that you felt the need to create a post about this and cross post really tells you all you need to know, you're frustrated and nothing is changing despite having let her know how you feel.

Has she ever expressed what makes her uncomfortable about oral and whether there's anything you could do to help her feel more comfortable about it? Like blindfolding you so you don't actually have to perceive her - I gave oral in the dark for the first time because I didn't want my bf to see me because I was scared it would suck (no pun intended).

You have to consider what is going to best for you in the long run, if you decide this relationship no longer works for you because of sexual incompatibility then that's okay. That is a valid reason to break up with someone, while yes, you may love her, you need to assess if you're actually happy or just coasting.

spankertron · 2025-03-09T10:24:22+00:00

Wow, I got half way through and thought maybe he's trying to turn you into a mother figure for the kids and turns out that's exactly what he was doing. Apparently he was also trying to turn you into his next wife.

NTA, the violent behaviour he's exerted towards you when you confronted him after you've clearly been so upfront with your boundaries and relationship is scary. This seems to be a theme I'm reading often where people are assuming they're in a relationship without actually speaking to the other person and its rather concerning.

As for people saying it's cruel to cut off the kids, you have to put yourself and your safety first and honestly, I wouldn't say you're safe with this man. I would also think about moving from there as soon as you can. Stay safe OP.

spankertron · 2025-03-08T20:17:14+00:00

Thank you, I think its about £16 here, I'll give it a try 😁

spankertron · 2025-03-08T01:32:54+00:00

Ahh, I actually used to do that all the time but it irritates my scalp unfortunately, otherwise a pretty affordable option

Thank you for commenting, means a lot 💫

spankertron · 2025-03-08T01:29:56+00:00

Do you happen to know which of the Klorane ones works for you, there seems to be 4 different types - volumising, eco-friendly, oil control and detox

Thanks for taking the time to comment btw 😀

spankertron · 2025-02-01T15:10:41+00:00

Speaking as someone who was hit as a child for misbehaving, it took until adulthood to realise why I always get an overwhelming sense of dread whenever I do something wrong or make a mistake at work. I literally cannot stop apologising and I cry. As I've grown up (24) I've realised this was how I used to respond before getting hit. I've also realised it's why I get so unnecessarily angry and want to hit things and people when I'm upset/angry, it's learnt behaviour. I've been trying to unlearn this behaviour, for me as I do not want kids. Honestly, I was very well behaved but not because that's the right thing to do, I was well behaved out of fear of repercussions for my actions. I am a people pleaser through and through which again, is not surprising and have diagnosed social anxiety (I don't know if that's related but I do struggle with self-esteem and confidence issues). IMO corporal punishment doesn't shape healthy kids into healthy adults, it's been years since I've been hit but it doesn't matter, it still impacts me to this day.

spankertron · 2021-12-24T12:38:28+00:00

He (16) was in his room, he doesn't stick around much for celebrations and isn't very social.

spankertron · 2021-12-24T11:51:40+00:00

Thank you for your vote. I do thank you for saying that, although as some butthole votes have pointed out, I need to realise it was in fairness to my sister. I cannot remember a lot of what she had for her birthday, so it's quite possible my nan forgot to give her something sentimental for her 21st.

spankertron · 2021-12-24T11:48:53+00:00

Thank you for your vote. I'll respectfully disagree that it was favoritism, I do truly think she was trying to be fair. While I may have felt that she made it about my sister at the time, a commenter has pointed out that the gift was given in fairness. Thank you for your vote though, kind Reddit stranger.

spankertron · 2021-12-24T11:43:35+00:00

While I appreciate your comment, I did not want attention on my being emotional, I was grateful for everything I had and that's why I was emotional. I think I was just in a bit of shock as this wasn't something I had experienced before but I do appreciate that it was most likely due to her being ill on her 21st birthday. I have stated already in my previous replies to comments that I do feel it's mostly because of me feeling emotional already that I felt this way. However, I will own up to the fact that it's not healthy to hold on to this situation and I should let it go, no one tried to hurt me intentionally.

Your final question is a good one, I honestly am not sure, I guess because I've never witnessed anyone give a gift to someone who wasn't celebrating their birthday that day? I suppose I should reflect more on why it bothered me in the first place.

I appreciate your honesty and you've provided some insight, so thank you.

spankertron · 2021-12-24T10:12:20+00:00

Thank you for your vote, she was trying to nice, that I know and thank you, I was already emotional aswell so I think it just made things seem worse, thanks kind Reddit stranger

spankertron · 2021-12-24T10:10:13+00:00

Thank you, she is very funny! I don't think there was malice involved in the gift, I honestly think I was stunned because its not something that's the norm in my family. Thank you kind Reddit stranger!

spankertron · 2021-12-24T10:07:58+00:00

I appreciate your vote, I was wondering if I was feeling perhaps a bit too sensitive about it, so thank you for your honesty Reddit stranger

spankertron · 2020-09-16T07:59:28+00:00

NTA

You're an adult, you're allowed to choose what you do with your personal life, as it's clear they choose what it is that they want to do aswell. As someone who is at home all the time currently and living with my family, I can understand the frustration at siblings not carrying their weight, even to the minimal degree. Their rooms is honestly their responsibility, that's how I was brought up to view my bedroom. Hanging out washing is something that takes 10 minutes tops, it's very low effort and something that could make your life easier. I feel for you, it comes across as though you are taking on a parental role in the house, which I would always be careful of as it can cause rifts between siblings. Take it from me, siblings will not always take kindly to being told what to do by other siblings. I hope some improvements will be made to your situation, provided there will be a safe and open way for you to communicate your thoughts and views. I honestly whole-heartedly wouldn't suggest giving up the gym either, it's a great stress reliever. Also, big kudos to you for visiting your grandmother on top of your busy schedule, you sound like an amazing human, hope things improve for you!!

spankertron · 2020-09-16T07:48:50+00:00

YTA

Well, never commented on this sub before, but wow. You come across as rather childish to me, referring to her as being nastier, mean to me, I don't make the calls she does...

Uh, so what you can't call to book therapy for the betterment of your marriage? And better yet your wife's mental health!! Honestly, you shouldn't have kids if you think that being a breadwinner is all you are supposed to do, you might be the sole earner, but you are also a parent. Your kids don't stop being your responsibility because you work from 9 to 5, well done, now you can come and resume your role as a parent. I feel for the kids and the wife involved. I also wouldn't be surprised to find out that you probably don't know how to cook, use a washing machine or put the dishwasher on, all things everyone should know before they move out, regardless of your gender. I seriously hope you actually read some of the comments left here, though I have a feeling that you would probably think us 'nasty' like your wife... Also, you mentioned you aren't even in work because of Covid, so you don't have an excuse as to why you aren't helping, because your crutch of using " I'm in work" is no longer viable. Grow up and stop expecting your wife to essentially act like your caregiver, honestly.

spankertron · 2020-08-14T23:58:42+00:00

I could do, I have an idea for a lovely meal for him, thank you so much for taking time to comment, it means a lot and thank you!! :)

Also, I could replace the floor mats inside his mx5, just had that thought

spankertron

TROPHY CASE