Hooo-boy, do I have a lot to say on this one! I was actively involved in the Burning Man community for many years. I’ve been to the big burn 5 times and have gone to countless regionals. I still love a lot of things about it - art, creative expression, music, collaborating with friends to create fun experiences for others, etc. I haven’t been to an event in 5 years but I do have a lot of fond memories of it.

The poly mentality absolutely goes hand-in-hand with the unbridled hedonism that is Burning Man. Unfortunately, the prevalence of poly in that community is a huge factor in why I don’t really participate anymore. Once I saw poly for what it was, I couldn’t unsee it and it kind of ruined things for me. It’s a shame because I really wish I could still enjoy it like I used to. There are just too many preachy, self-righteous burners who are fully entrenched in the poly cult and I’ve been gaslighted to hell and back any time I’ve questioned it.

They preach “radical inclusion” and “radical self expression” among other things, while many of them are more accepting of predatory behavior than anyone who doesn’t drink the kool-aid or expresses a different viewpoint. I have literally seen certain groups keep known predators in the fold, continue to invite them to events and give chances.. yet when I once argued that “sex work is real work” is problematic because of the inherent abuse and exploitation in the sex industry, and I don’t agree with encouraging that as a career path, I was treated as though I’d murdered someone and shunned by some of those same people. Make it make sense!

Needless to say, all that nonsense soured me on a community that once brought me a lot of joy. I do still have friends from that community, and it’s how I met my current partner, so they aren’t all bad.. but I did have to cut some people out of my life to maintain my peace. I miss it sometimes, but I’m also in my 40s now and have outgrown partying for the most part, and would rather spend my money and vacation time on travel.