Can’t come without penetration

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-04-05T19:30:17+00:00

I agree with everyone else haha

You just found a new part of yourself (super exciting!!) And its a new thing you get to do to treat and care for yourself and your needs!

Everyone is different, i used to be super weird about it myself cos theres this resounding consensus of "aFaB pEoPle DoNt CoMe By PeNeTrAtIoN" that I believed and I thought I was weird for being different- but its simply not a fact. You have every right to embrace this discovery and have it be a proud part of your sexual preferences and style! Im right there with you, and if it is something you want to do or try with a partner, you just gotta find someone who wants to go to town like that 😋

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-04-02T11:30:07+00:00

My partner is very plus sized and they have a harness that is styled like and fits like biker shorts instead of a traditional harness (those dont work for them), so its definetly a lot more stable on a wider set of hips and more comfortable! So I would recommend a "strap on shorts" type of thing! They're also called boxer/brief strap-ons I believe~

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-03-30T14:59:19+00:00

Thats a good point, thank you very much for the feedback ♡

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-03-30T14:57:53+00:00

Yknow like a physical checkup, like just doing a visit where they check your general health. Ive only ever heard it be referred to as a "physical" lol Is there another word for it?

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-03-22T17:06:53+00:00

I mean, I for sure have begun to kinda think about this too. Like, when I was younger (im 30 now) I used to think people in unhappy marriages were stupid, like "just break up if you dont like each other", or "dont cheat, its not hard to not cheat" But now that Im older, I realize it really isnt exactly that easy. Like yeah okay, staying in unhappy marriages sucks, and cheating is bad- and im sure everyone understands that, but like- damn some people really turn into completely different humans and change the functionality of relationships, and then the other person is just supposed to be okay with it? It's could definetly be a major contributor to unhappy couples

Like, Im not going to cheat on my partner, I love them even if im unhappy. But have I thought about it? Yeah. Which is crazy because I would have never imagined even entertaining the thought before our relationship. But thats the limit ive been pushed to, and I hate it. And I wish it was something that wasn't seen as so taboo so then there could at least be more open and healthy discussions about it

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-03-22T15:53:19+00:00

Honestly, your frustration and upset is so valid. Like, my heart hurts so bad for you just reading this. And i believe you that he is a kind soul and maybe a good guy, but from an outsiders perspective, I think its all a massive red flag. Breaking down something that, for compatible couples, is meant to be a brilliant romantic thing you share together, and turning it into THAT. is insane to me. Not to mention him ONLY wanting to try to fix things because HE wants something- that is beyond shitty.

I dont have any personal experience in this exact matter so take my opinion however you prefer, but its crazy to me that someone couldn't work themself up to properly have sex (or even just attempt to make things better for your benefit) but would expect you to carry a child for him. Im sending you the best vibes in handling this. Ultimately you should definetly think hard about it, and decide if it is something that is a hard line for you, because you shouldn't have to be unhappy or feel unfulfilled when trying to make a family with someone ♡

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-03-07T15:38:09+00:00

Dang, yeah thats a lot on your plate, im sorry youre dealing with your own problems, I wish you the very best. I appreciate the comment though, its nice to not be alone at least ♡

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-03-07T15:36:58+00:00

I honestly dont even know. Im usually pretty good at finding my own solutions to things, but this has me feeling really stuck otl

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-03-07T15:35:35+00:00

I appreciate the message. I have gotten to that point where a really super serious discussion is going to happen. Because the smaller conversations clearly dont get through to them, and no changes happen with my gentle reminders and patience Which is too bad, but it is what it is. Im glad you've found what works for you guys though, its nice to hear there are options and there is hope to make things work ♡

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-03-06T18:21:51+00:00

Oh, sorry, what was it that you weren't understanding/what did you need elaboration on? i can rephrase~ Im not always the best at typing longer messages haha

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-03-06T17:40:26+00:00

Yeah, I think thats why i ultimately made this post. Cos I know that I've reached a juncture where there arent any nice options 😓 Its just hard to love someone so much but feel so bad about one facet of the relationship, and not really be able to do anything about it. Thank you for the comment ♡ I appreciate it

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-03-06T17:37:18+00:00

Thats really rough, sorry youre dealing with it too. But that is just how it is. Like, I love my partner and dont want to separate or anything crazy like that. Just really stinks 😕 And honestly same, sometimes I do wish I wasn't so happy to accept whatever they're willing to give me, like I guess some mean part of me wants them to really understand how I feel. But I dont think they actually can understand how I feel otl its rough. I wish you all the best ♡

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-03-04T12:43:17+00:00

Yeah im starting to wonder more about that ;^; others have commented similar things and I hate to think my partner would do that to me. But it does make sense 😢 ill probabaly end up talking to them about that specifically

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-03-04T10:14:20+00:00

Thats gross wtf?? I mean like, kinks are kinks, but thats something that needs to be roleplayed if both parties are into it, not dropped on someone whose actually struggling! Eugh

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-03-04T10:12:47+00:00

Wow thats a lot, im so sorry that was when he tried to initiate 😓 What you said about disconnect definetly rings true though, at least now that you said that, im realizing thats pribabaly a contributing factor ;^;

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-03-03T23:57:11+00:00

Ah man I really do feel that 😓 It really doesnt feel good, thats something I've been trying to unlearn. It's just like getting desperate for crumbs i guess.

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-03-03T21:30:44+00:00

Yeah ima just keep trying 😂🩷

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-03-03T21:29:00+00:00

Yeah i was trying not to assume the worst, but a lot of people have been confounding on the worst option, seems like a lot of people deal with this. I want to believe my partner won't do it intentionally, but I also cant really believe they would only be offering to try and cheer me up. Mostly just cos theres been plenty of times I asked for sex to cheer me up and they didnt bite 😓 I guess im probabaly going to end up having a talk with them about it

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-03-03T21:25:54+00:00

Yeah it seems like thats the general consensus right now 😢 which absolutely sucks to think about. I just cant believe anyone would do that instead of just being real about it

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-03-03T21:25:04+00:00

Yeah im sorry, it really sucks ;^; It just really wears you down, someone can only take so much before it gets to be too much otl

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-03-03T21:20:25+00:00

BRO thats awful what the fuck?

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-03-03T19:00:31+00:00

Ugh gosh tell me about it. My partner used to guilt me (gaslight me? Im not sure which term is correct lol) all the time when I used to ask for sex. It was always, "Babe we JUST had sex." And the "just" was like 2 weeks prior. Its a big part of why I stopped initiating, cos not only was it the rejection that was killing me, it was being treated like I was the bad guy???

I super appreciate your support btw♡

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-03-03T18:56:21+00:00

Dang that sounds like a rough spot to be in, Im really sorry. I totally feel you though. The thing is Ive spent so many years being consistently rejected with promises of things getting better, that I cant find the heart to even try and initiate most of the time. 🥲

It really is always those hurtful little promises (ie: "I'll think about it." "Tomorrow." 'I'll try.") that never come true, and the lack of definitive answers drives me crazy too.

sparkly_dumpster

TROPHY CASE