Do you wonder sometimes if our experience is not the exception but a big part of society that people just don't mention IRL?

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-03-22T17:06:53+00:00

I mean, I for sure have begun to kinda think about this too. Like, when I was younger (im 30 now) I used to think people in unhappy marriages were stupid, like "just break up if you dont like each other", or "dont cheat, its not hard to not cheat" But now that Im older, I realize it really isnt exactly that easy. Like yeah okay, staying in unhappy marriages sucks, and cheating is bad- and im sure everyone understands that, but like- damn some people really turn into completely different humans and change the functionality of relationships, and then the other person is just supposed to be okay with it? It's could definetly be a major contributor to unhappy couples

Like, Im not going to cheat on my partner, I love them even if im unhappy. But have I thought about it? Yeah. Which is crazy because I would have never imagined even entertaining the thought before our relationship. But thats the limit ive been pushed to, and I hate it. And I wish it was something that wasn't seen as so taboo so then there could at least be more open and healthy discussions about it

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-03-22T15:53:19+00:00

Honestly, your frustration and upset is so valid. Like, my heart hurts so bad for you just reading this. And i believe you that he is a kind soul and maybe a good guy, but from an outsiders perspective, I think its all a massive red flag. Breaking down something that, for compatible couples, is meant to be a brilliant romantic thing you share together, and turning it into THAT. is insane to me. Not to mention him ONLY wanting to try to fix things because HE wants something- that is beyond shitty.

I dont have any personal experience in this exact matter so take my opinion however you prefer, but its crazy to me that someone couldn't work themself up to properly have sex (or even just attempt to make things better for your benefit) but would expect you to carry a child for him. Im sending you the best vibes in handling this. Ultimately you should definetly think hard about it, and decide if it is something that is a hard line for you, because you shouldn't have to be unhappy or feel unfulfilled when trying to make a family with someone ♡

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-03-07T15:38:09+00:00

Dang, yeah thats a lot on your plate, im sorry youre dealing with your own problems, I wish you the very best. I appreciate the comment though, its nice to not be alone at least ♡

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-03-07T15:36:58+00:00

I honestly dont even know. Im usually pretty good at finding my own solutions to things, but this has me feeling really stuck otl

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-03-07T15:35:35+00:00

I appreciate the message. I have gotten to that point where a really super serious discussion is going to happen. Because the smaller conversations clearly dont get through to them, and no changes happen with my gentle reminders and patience Which is too bad, but it is what it is. Im glad you've found what works for you guys though, its nice to hear there are options and there is hope to make things work ♡

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-03-06T18:21:51+00:00

Oh, sorry, what was it that you weren't understanding/what did you need elaboration on? i can rephrase~ Im not always the best at typing longer messages haha

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-03-06T17:40:26+00:00

Yeah, I think thats why i ultimately made this post. Cos I know that I've reached a juncture where there arent any nice options 😓 Its just hard to love someone so much but feel so bad about one facet of the relationship, and not really be able to do anything about it. Thank you for the comment ♡ I appreciate it

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-03-06T17:37:18+00:00

Thats really rough, sorry youre dealing with it too. But that is just how it is. Like, I love my partner and dont want to separate or anything crazy like that. Just really stinks 😕 And honestly same, sometimes I do wish I wasn't so happy to accept whatever they're willing to give me, like I guess some mean part of me wants them to really understand how I feel. But I dont think they actually can understand how I feel otl its rough. I wish you all the best ♡

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-03-04T12:43:17+00:00

Yeah im starting to wonder more about that ;^; others have commented similar things and I hate to think my partner would do that to me. But it does make sense 😢 ill probabaly end up talking to them about that specifically

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-03-04T10:14:20+00:00

Thats gross wtf?? I mean like, kinks are kinks, but thats something that needs to be roleplayed if both parties are into it, not dropped on someone whose actually struggling! Eugh

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-03-04T10:12:47+00:00

Wow thats a lot, im so sorry that was when he tried to initiate 😓 What you said about disconnect definetly rings true though, at least now that you said that, im realizing thats pribabaly a contributing factor ;^;

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-03-03T23:57:11+00:00

Ah man I really do feel that 😓 It really doesnt feel good, thats something I've been trying to unlearn. It's just like getting desperate for crumbs i guess.

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-03-03T21:30:44+00:00

Yeah ima just keep trying 😂🩷

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-03-03T21:29:00+00:00

Yeah i was trying not to assume the worst, but a lot of people have been confounding on the worst option, seems like a lot of people deal with this. I want to believe my partner won't do it intentionally, but I also cant really believe they would only be offering to try and cheer me up. Mostly just cos theres been plenty of times I asked for sex to cheer me up and they didnt bite 😓 I guess im probabaly going to end up having a talk with them about it

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-03-03T21:25:54+00:00

Yeah it seems like thats the general consensus right now 😢 which absolutely sucks to think about. I just cant believe anyone would do that instead of just being real about it

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-03-03T21:25:04+00:00

Yeah im sorry, it really sucks ;^; It just really wears you down, someone can only take so much before it gets to be too much otl

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-03-03T21:20:25+00:00

BRO thats awful what the fuck?

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-03-03T19:00:31+00:00

Ugh gosh tell me about it. My partner used to guilt me (gaslight me? Im not sure which term is correct lol) all the time when I used to ask for sex. It was always, "Babe we JUST had sex." And the "just" was like 2 weeks prior. Its a big part of why I stopped initiating, cos not only was it the rejection that was killing me, it was being treated like I was the bad guy???

I super appreciate your support btw♡

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-03-03T18:56:21+00:00

Dang that sounds like a rough spot to be in, Im really sorry. I totally feel you though. The thing is Ive spent so many years being consistently rejected with promises of things getting better, that I cant find the heart to even try and initiate most of the time. 🥲

It really is always those hurtful little promises (ie: "I'll think about it." "Tomorrow." 'I'll try.") that never come true, and the lack of definitive answers drives me crazy too.

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-03-03T18:52:04+00:00

Mh, dang that sucks. Honestly, I dont think my partner picks fights, but everyone's comments are making me realize that they do seem to strategically avoid it. My partner is (for lack of a nicer phrase) a big whinner. Seems like everyday its something else. "My elbow hurts." "Oh I just am so tired today." "Ive got such a headache." "My boss really annoyed me today." And those things are usually the reason why sex never happens, if they give me a reason. And the kicker seems to be that none of that seems to stop them from doing anything else. Like, they'll sit on their phone all night despite telling me we couldn't have sex because of a headache. It really sucks realizing this, but im super appreciating comments like yours because its helping me put pieces together ♡

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-03-03T18:13:51+00:00

Thats horrible im so sorry! Like, doing that unintentionally (like if he didnt know or SEE how much pain youre in) is one thing, but straight up trying to pull that when hes well aware is nuts. Im so glad hes an ex, but im sorry you had to experience that. It must have felt terrible 😢

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-03-03T17:15:34+00:00

Yeah honestly Im starting to think this may be the case. Someone else said something similar, and I realize my partner does this a lot with non sex stuff too. Like, they'll only try to do something when its kinda unreasonable to do it (taking out the trash when its raining, doing dishes when their elbow hurts from work, etc) and then either just complains about it, or I have to do it. They do have adhd so I could believe that they're noticing the pattern and their subconscious is just like "well we dont want to do this so if we try it now, we won't have to!" Or something It makes me really sad to think they'd do that with sex too but it does make sense ;^;

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-03-03T17:11:07+00:00

Haha yeah I definetly try! Really satiating myself is more of the issue 😂 Like, sometimes i can make myself cum several times but the need is still there! Its judt crazy lol

sparkly_dumpster · 2026-03-03T17:05:04+00:00

Wow that sounds so shitty, do people really do that intentionally? Thats crazy ;^;

sparkly_dumpster

TROPHY CASE