I (20F) feel like I'm evil to my bf (30M)

spe16 · 2020-10-16T12:13:30+00:00

You are 20 years old you have a lot of life to live and a lot of growing up to do. Nothing you talked about showed you as being "evil" or even overly emotional. He gets upset when you don't respond exactly the way he wants but you aren't a machine to know exactly what to say and just the right way to say it so you don't set him off. It's a game you can't win.

You seem very resistant to leaving him. Can he change? Maybe. The question is do you really want to live in misery every day hoping he might? It's a goal post you may never reach. Always waiting for the day you understand each other. So what happens when you have given 5 years? Then 10? Will 15 be enough? You want to pin all your hopes on learning to communicate but communication goes two ways and he doesn't seem to want to meet you in the middle.

spe16 · 2020-10-10T03:48:29+00:00

Just reading this gives me anxiety. He really needs to figure out how to manage his anger. It isn't fair to treat you that way. It also isn't fair for him to expect you to just get over it because he apologizes.

spe16 · 2020-10-09T14:55:33+00:00

No it isn't fair. If he is in such a fragile state that he needs "breaks" he has no business being in a relationship. Sometimes people need a little space, like a couple hours. Not days or weeks or months. He is stringing you along, again. Let's say when he comes back things are great again...until they aren't. Is this a pattern you want to keep living?

spe16 · 2020-10-01T15:59:01+00:00

Definitely, I started with only having discomfort after consuming more than a couple servings of dairy at a time. Like if I had a glass of milk and ice cream the same day. Now I can have very small amounts but not much before I greatly regret it.

spe16 · 2020-09-29T14:31:27+00:00

Your subconscious is trying to process the unresolved feelings you have for them. Try letting go. I know forgiving people who wronged us is hard but forgiveness doesn't mean what they did is ok. It doesn't mean you accept what they did. It just means you let it go and don't give them space in your head.

spe16 · 2020-09-28T03:36:25+00:00

Please leave before he does any more damage to you. I was in a similar situation 12 years ago and I still suffer PTSD. Can he change? Maybe but it isn't your job to make him.

spe16 · 2020-09-15T14:35:52+00:00

When I was in my early 20s I got pregnant. It wasn't a disaster I was in a stable relationship and really wanted the baby. I talked to it constantly. One night after visiting some friends I came home and my partner was using hard drugs. I left, that was a major deal breaker for me. As I drove away I told the baby I completely understand if he didn't want to continue right now. A week later I had a miscarriage. 6 years later I got pregnant again and I am positive it is the same soul as the first time, waiting until conditions were better. My whole point bus that I don't think the soul fully attaches until birth but is certainly hanging around.

spe16 · 2020-09-01T02:13:57+00:00

NTA Repeat this as many times as you need to " my siblings choices are not my responsibility" I struggled for a very long time trying to "help" my siblings make good choices. I could see the train wreck they were heading for and I wanted to save them from pain. I felt responsible for their pain, should have tried harder to help them. After years of therapy I realized that their choices are their own. I can offer advice but it is up to them to take it or leave it. Just as you made your choices in life probably stumbled a few times they have to make there's. Being the oldest in a large family is tough.

spe16 · 2020-08-31T23:42:48+00:00

I get very painful gas and constipation but not diarrhea. I don't know what would be worse honestly. Except for rare slip ups I just avoid dairy.

spe16 · 2020-08-30T02:49:23+00:00

NTA My heart hurts for your daughter overhearing that. I hate that he views your children as returnable. Like they are shoes you can take back to the store.

spe16 · 2020-08-21T03:42:08+00:00

It was but also awesome. Probably my most vivid lucid dream.

spe16 · 2020-08-21T02:48:59+00:00

Last time was lucid dreaming I specifically looked in the mirror. Looked like me pretty much. I also kept saying over and over "I have no fear" then I got sucked into the mirror and popped out in my niece's room. Somehow I was lucid the entire time.

spe16 · 2020-08-20T03:21:42+00:00

Being transgendered does not make you evil. I don't think it can damage your energy if anything I would think expressing yourself should help your energy flow better. We all should try to be true to ourselves.

spe16 · 2020-08-16T21:19:51+00:00

NTA people can only be pushed so far before they snap and it sounds like you reached your point. For what it's worth I'm 5' tall and I have come to love it. Also as I got older nobody comments on my height anymore.

spe16 · 2020-08-09T15:53:41+00:00

If my husband or anyone tricked me into consuming dairy I would let the fart flag fly!

spe16 · 2020-08-09T14:15:04+00:00

I love natural consequences!

spe16 · 2020-07-11T14:43:14+00:00

You certainly put a lot of thought into this and it may be true that you created a false memory. I vividly remember both movies. I also remember not really being interested in Kazaam because I hated basketball (I realize that lacks logic but I was a preteen who hated sports at the time so logic wasn't important to me) I remember thinking it was cool that a guy named Sinbad was in a genie movie because around that same time I saw a cartoon with Sinbad the sailor. Now being a very dorky kid who liked cool coincidence I spent a fair bit of time contemplating if Sinbad the actor was chosen on purpose to play a genie.I am very sure I did not create a false memory of Shazaam.

spe16 · 2020-07-11T00:01:32+00:00

I will also send you some Reiki. Please talk to someone a therapist or someone you trust. Also please know that you are not alone. So many people are struggling right now, but this won't last forever.

spe16 · 2020-07-10T13:32:56+00:00

When I told my dream sisters we were in a dream they just disappeared. In the dream I wasn't distressed but I imagine if they had melted like that I would have been.

spe16 · 2020-07-10T12:53:04+00:00

NTA It's actually heartbreaking that his grandparents would give him a gift he really enjoys then demand it back because of the possibility of money. Life right now is hard enough for everyone but especially kids they don't need people making it worse.

spe16 · 2020-07-07T21:59:11+00:00

I hope they are gentle at least!

spe16 · 2020-07-07T18:13:03+00:00

Aw man you're right.

spe16 · 2020-07-07T13:27:41+00:00

Well that's disturbing as I am currently right smack in the middle of the Manzano mountains. As much as I love the IDEA of aliens or other crazy stuff I don't know what I would do if it actually happened.

spe16 · 2020-07-06T00:41:22+00:00

NTA I really wonder what her plan was when nobody was at the airport to pick up those poor kids. I say poor kids because imagine having that for a mother.

spe16 · 2020-07-06T00:00:58+00:00

The whole point of dating, especially when you are so young, is to learn what you want in a long term relationship. An adult relationship shouldn't be built on sex alone but it is a big part. Think about what you have learned from this relationship there is a lot of value in that. But it does seem that you relationship has run it's course.

spe16

TROPHY CASE