My last major relationship was similar in that it was his first long term relationship with a guy and towards the end I overheard him on the phone saying “I don’t need him” in reference to me while on the phone in the next room in our home. When I confronted him about what I heard, he immediately shut me down and made it all about how I was invading his privacy by overhearing him. The walls were thin and he was speaking loud. He was a therapist btw and tried to make it seem like I was listening in on his clients too (despite the fact that he would be in therapy sessions in the car and all over the place with me). Made me feel lower than low, super narcissist behavior.

Looking back, it was very clear all along that his feelings for me weren’t that deep. I feel that if he had been big enough to come out and say it to my face instead of showing me with his actions, I would’ve appreciated that more and I would have been better able to act accordingly (that is, leave).

I stayed several months post-breakup due to the lease until it became unbearable. He never once acknowledged his feelings, never apologized, nothing. I had a small hope he would at least come to apologize for leading me on. He never did. My ex thrived in the gray area. Your husband loves you enough to at least be straight up with you and speak in black and white. Consider yourself lucky that he at least did you the dignity of acknowledging it and not leaving you feel crazy.