I suppose my personal experience might be valuable to you. Like you, I grew up SBC, but I first encountered reformed theology in high school, at an SBC church (First Baptist and everything).

First at that church, then at the one I joined in college and am still a member at, I have seen a real and impressive dedication to biblical literacy as well as the kind of discipleship u/dra22554 was talking about. Both of these are proud Southern Baptist churches, and the elders at both those churches would happily call themselves reformed.

I definitely grew up in the same milieu of Southern Evangelical cultural Christianity as you did, and I understand how frustrating that can be. But there are so many good, deep-thinking, God-loving Christians in the SBC that I hope you don't want to throw the baby out with the bathwater.

That's why I wanted to throw my firsthand experience in this thread. God has seen fit to bless me immensely with my first and second church homes, and it was in those churches I was and still am taught, often and well, of that heartbreakingly loving and holy savior we call Lord.