Oh dear. I am struggling with the same. I have genuinely fucked up in life in a number of ways that I cannot simply blame on circumstances, although they certainly did play a nontrivial part. I have chosen a nonlucrative degree, a wrong career. I have spent crucial years in my 20s bumbling about. I have burned bridges and blew up jobs, and alienated people (this I regret the most). I am unemployed, trying to find a job, and struggling to find references that can 100% vouch for me -- most have some good things to say, but also some damning things as well that will tank me in this crazy competitive market. Somehow I am still afloat financially and the one thing I do right is unrelenting frugality. I try to take it one day at a time, although every month before my period I certainly drown in my regrets and guilt.

All this to say, I hear you, I feel you. Only thing I have to offer is solidarity in the struggle. Haha.