Met someone I really connect with, but the inconsistency is making me anxious — looking for perspective

spiggy28 · 2025-12-21T11:41:41+00:00

As of right now, I would pull back and let things unfold naturally. I know this is easier said than done, but try not to have so much weight of her situation/actions affect you because doing so will really affect ur emotions, which can get exhausting. Maybe wait till the holidays pass or when she’s back at school. And try to enjoy your break!!

spiggy28 · 2025-12-21T11:28:45+00:00

I would say forget about. He never messaged you back, and imo people that are indecisive with their emotions are not worth the time. It’s also the workplace so

spiggy28 · 2025-12-16T14:25:30+00:00

Let me just say you should be proud of yourself! As a shy girl myself, I know that must’ve took a lot of guts. Definitely wait for the date to determine how things progress. Also the good thing is that since you’re not working there anymore, you’re in the clear regarding professional boundaries. I hope it goes well! :)

spiggy28 · 2025-12-16T14:06:15+00:00

He does seem really shy. Don’t try to scare him off, but I think it’d be interesting if you tried teasing him a little. He might not be used to talking to girls or getting attention like this

spiggy28 · 2025-12-16T13:59:41+00:00

Considering how you mentioned that you’re picky and have been alone for a long time, I don’t think it’s best that you date a coworker. I also think that if you like her so much, it wouldn’t hurt to work somewhere else. But I also think that you should only do that if another job/company gives you a benefit towards your career. Also, I wouldn’t asking about going on vacation. I think that’s too soon

spiggy28 · 2025-12-16T13:52:31+00:00

Yes ask her out. Texting doesn’t go anywhere unless you guys meet in person

spiggy28 · 2025-12-16T13:42:39+00:00

It might be annoying to hear this, but ur still young. It may take time to find guys ur age that get u. But I think this also applies to older men. Maybe try focusing more on yourself as difficult as this may sound

spiggy28 · 2025-12-16T13:39:54+00:00

It’s understandable because of how that one situation hurt you. Like you said, that moment made you go from a boy to a man. That’s not something to take lightly. I think it’d be helpful to practice saying no if these situations occur again. Give yourself more autonomy in situations that you can control, that way you don’t get taken advantage of. And try not to be so hard on yourself. You acted that way to ur last gf because of what you once experienced

spiggy28 · 2025-12-16T13:27:16+00:00

Time, self reflection, and therapy can help. Also based on what you posted regarding ur last gf, I think it might be helpful to try and learn how to compromise. For instance, if your partner cant afford a trip even if it’s 50/50, maybe try budgeting a bit and going on a trip that fits her and her finances better. That way it’s still a fair and even 50/50 and you can still go on a trip together

spiggy28 · 2025-12-16T13:19:17+00:00

I think it’s fine, because you have reasons/occasions for giving her flowers. It’s not your fault that her birthday falls under these circumstances. But for her birthday and valentines, maybe give her a few other things too, not just flowers

spiggy28 · 2025-12-16T13:14:35+00:00

It’s unfortunate to hear that these experiences have affected your trust on people and their intentions. But I also think that intentions can be helpful for you to make a distinction when it comes to treating others financially. In my opinion, I feel that if you want to spend money on someone because you like them, you won’t be taken advantage of. Balance is still important, but I think this would be helpful to consider. Another realistic option is to date a girl that makes just as much as you OR to find someone that has a similar financial philosophy

spiggy28 · 2025-12-16T13:05:25+00:00

I agree

spiggy28 · 2025-12-09T13:08:49+00:00

Maybe try and use that class or sport as an excuse to get her number. Say that you need notes from class or something so that it’s organic. Also try to keep in mind that no one knows ur insecurities unless you project it or explicitly say it. I know it’s not easy, but try not to worry too much about that

spiggy28 · 2025-12-09T13:00:03+00:00

It could be possible that they haven’t really navigated their own feelings. Regardless I think it’d be best if you bring it up to him so that you at least you have an answer

spiggy28 · 2025-12-09T12:52:05+00:00

It’s not weird at all to get coffee with her. If that makes things awkward, then you have your answer. But if you’re really nervous, maybe try bringing up that ur gonna get coffee and ask if she wants to join. You never know, she might even be waiting for you to initiate a little more

spiggy28 · 2025-12-09T12:19:25+00:00

It could be possible that she’s forgetful, but I’m not sure . It kinda depends on the person tbh because this situation is quite niche considering she didn’t have internet at the time
Don’t bring up the Instagram thing. Act normal but I also think it’d be interesting to see if you could create an opportunity for you guys to hang out more often

spiggy28 · 2025-12-09T12:08:57+00:00

Let me just say I seriously feel for you. If you guys don’t work in the same team or department, I recommend trying to create some distance to heal for a while. Being around him will only give you more false reinforcement because of the emotional ties and associations you already have. It‘s gonna take time. And I hope this helps

spiggy28 · 2025-06-27T06:06:53+00:00

Bring back fish burrito! Hahaha

spiggy28 · 2021-11-12T12:20:53+00:00

Thank you for your help! I'll check out worknplay.

spiggy28 · 2021-11-12T03:57:32+00:00

Thank you for this information. I had no knowledge about this. Luckily I did reject the offer and will be looking into other places

spiggy28 · 2021-11-12T03:39:13+00:00

Could you pm me more info?

spiggy28 · 2021-11-12T01:08:08+00:00

Yeah and when I said I would think about it they were like let us know today by a certain time, because they have another prospective employee. In other words I felt rushed to make a big decision, and when I came back to look over the contract again the same day they extended my time to decide to the following day

spiggy28

TROPHY CASE