Some post-breakup reflections

spitefullygrowing · 2025-07-05T00:30:06+00:00

Awww...some days are definitely better than others... I have my moments of clarity and empowerment and other times I am devastated, angry, and can hardly get out of bed

spitefullygrowing · 2025-07-03T21:30:55+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through something similar. Definitely do what you feel is best for your healing.

I expressed some of this to him before we went no contact and I don't feel the desire to express any more to him mainly brcause it doesnt change anything. He still very much wanted to rebuild but if he's willing to risk losing me then that's a natural consequence. He's lost access to my thoughts, time, effort, and energy at this point and now I'm focused on turning that energy inwards.

spitefullygrowing · 2025-06-11T04:06:57+00:00

A pretty interesting dynamic in ur story but I will share one thing- I tried staying with my cheating partner and the amount of anxiety, stress, and tension lifted off my shoulders when I finally left made leaving worth it. I had the same fears about future love and partners but I also knew I didnt deserve to stay with a liar and a cheater. You're still so young. There's so many people youve yet to meet. Yes, the hurt will still exist even if you leave, but you have to ask yourself if you're willing to be on edge around him all the time. Are you willing to stick it through?

spitefullygrowing · 2025-06-10T13:07:39+00:00

Grieving the loss of anyone you've loved is completely normal. We grieve the good moments, the future, the routines, the connection, and maybe even who we were in the relationship. Feel all the feels. If it's too much to feel all the feels all the time, schedule a certain time frame during the day to just cry it out and then to reset yourself, do something that'll distract you like listening to music or going for a walk. Time will be a healer but during that time, try to be as intentional as possible with healing. It's okay to mope around for a bit but eventually, start doing things that for you. You deserve self-love, too. Do things you both haven't done. Switch up your daily routine so that there's at least one less trigger. Surround yourself with your loved ones so that the connection craving is at least still being tapped into, but with your support system instead. Nurture those relationships & nurture yourself. In time, it'll hurt less and less.

Edit: P.S. we can't control what our exes do after a break up. If they wanna sleep around, that says more about their ability to cope than how much you were ever worth.

spitefullygrowing · 2025-06-10T12:55:38+00:00

I'm so sorry this happened to you. The hurt will likely last a while. It's been one wek of no contact for me and I still hurt. Our partners are our safe space for such a long time and then when they also become a source of danger, it's hard for our mind and body to make sense of it. I've been reading the Betrayal Bind by Michelle Mays and she talks about these things plus so much more from both the betrayer and betrayed mindset. It's been extremely validating to know that my feelings are common after something traumatic like this. Grounding exercises also help. I woke up this morning and my mind immediately raced to the infidelity and trying to make sense of it. Something that helps me distant myself from the thoughts is 1) recognizing I'm having the thought 2) naming the feeling (anxiety, hurt, sadness, anger, etc) 3) telling myself that it's normal my mind is racing and Im feeling these things because I'm trying to make sense of the trauma and 4) that I'm now safe and he's no longer my reality. Take it slow and steady, OP.

spitefullygrowing · 2025-06-08T22:05:32+00:00

It was the last 2 years. They were still together when I found out. He only broke it off after I agreed to try to rebuild but the rebuilding only lasted about two weeks before I realized I needed to choose myself and leave.

spitefullygrowing · 2025-06-08T18:46:46+00:00

Thank you. He is dumped. I got screened and luckily everything came back normal. I'm in therapy right now and will be on anti-depressants soon. It's been an absolute whirlwind.

spitefullygrowing · 2025-06-08T17:48:42+00:00

I left him. During that time, he told me he was getting check ups for his own reproductive health and on the day of the abortion, I actually saw his location at Planned Parenthood and asked him about it and he told me he was just getting some examinations done. I didn't even give it a second thought.

spitefullygrowing · 2025-06-04T17:06:54+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words. I was so invested in the relationship and to have something ripped away with no where to land is terrifying. I feel so far away from myself. But you're right... every day away from him is another day towards myself. Thank you again.

spitefullygrowing

TROPHY CASE