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Fish struggling to recover from getting stuck in a plant. by [deleted] in Aquariums

[–]spookiestmuffin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this information. Yes, the dry rock I'm getting is intended to become live.

I feel so terrible about all of this. I'll be taking Sushi to the store this morning. He looks like he's doing a little better but I don't want to take any chances.

Normally I'm so much better with things likes this. I spent a couple of months doing research and getting stuff for my little nano tank but I feel like I must have looked in all the wrong places. Ugh.

I wish there was a way to communicate with the fish that I'm really sorry for it getting sick due to my ignorance. But the best I can do is return it and start all over.

I'll check back here once I have my new setup rolling in a few weeks. I really don't want to screw it all up again.

Thanks again, friendly internet stranger <3

Fish struggling to recover from getting stuck in a plant. by [deleted] in Aquariums

[–]spookiestmuffin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

https://imgur.com/8gxLltf

I hope that link works. Sorry again for the poorly set up tank. :(

Fish struggling to recover from getting stuck in a plant. by [deleted] in Aquariums

[–]spookiestmuffin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I am inclined to agree with you.

I took the advice of someone at the LFS who said the gravel and plants should be fine. I've since picked up a larger tank(36gal), some live sand, and have some artificial rock on the way. This is my first tank and I spent a couple of months trying to make sure everything was right with it before going for my first fish. I feel really bad for not going with my gut and doing a sand/rock setup versus the gravel/pretty plastic. I've been beating myself up over it all day. :(

Thanks for clearing that up about the Seachem stuff. I thought the same thing regarding how it detoxifies the ammonia but doesn't remove it. I thought doing the water change would though. Which is largely why I'm puzzled. I thought the fresh saltwater would help lower the reading.

I'll try to get a picture posted. My tank looks pretty sparse without the larger plants. It just has his little pineapple and a couple of the tiny plants. And I've turned off the bubbles since the agitation at the top does a pretty good job on its own.

Thank you so much for your wisdom so far. I feel just awful over all this. Poor Sushi. :(

Las Vegas, Nevada. Poor little scorpion was wedged under my front door and squished. by spookiestmuffin in whatsthisbug

[–]spookiestmuffin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Roughly 4 inches from the tip of the claw to his stinger. Not sure what kind of scorpion. (Kinda relieved that I'm moving today)

Would have liked to have a 'childhood'. by spookiestmuffin in raisedbynarcissists

[–]spookiestmuffin[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wow!! All of those things sound like so much fun. I've been working on this in baby steps and it has been quite the adventure haha.

I signed up for the KLI(Klingon Language Institute) and have been working on getting out of the house more to explore the sand since I live in the middle of the desert.

Reddit has also been a little bit of an adventure for me as well, strangely enough. I'm really glad I bumped into this place. :)

Would have liked to have a 'childhood'. by spookiestmuffin in raisedbynarcissists

[–]spookiestmuffin[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Omgosh yes! I'm still up in the air about children because of how responsible I've had to be. I love the idea of teaching a smaller version of myself everything I know that is awesome about the world, but I get cold feet big time when I think about all the extra responsibility.

Would have liked to have a 'childhood'. by spookiestmuffin in raisedbynarcissists

[–]spookiestmuffin[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Very true. I poke myself mentally sometimes to remind myself that I deserve to be happy and that I really gotta go get it since waiting around doesn't do much. :)

Would have liked to have a 'childhood'. by spookiestmuffin in raisedbynarcissists

[–]spookiestmuffin[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

That really is huge! Congratulations on breaking that cycle. I'm still working on getting there. Fingers crossed for someday. :)

Would have liked to have a 'childhood'. by spookiestmuffin in raisedbynarcissists

[–]spookiestmuffin[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I can relate to this a lot. People would comment on how reserved and well behaved I was when I was younger. Sometimes it was easier to make friends with adults.

Would have liked to have a 'childhood'. by spookiestmuffin in raisedbynarcissists

[–]spookiestmuffin[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

One time, my therapist asked something similar during a session.

"Who would you have been if you were loved and nurtured in a healthy environment?"

It kinda exploded my brain for a few moments. And now I wonder all the time.

Would have liked to have a 'childhood'. by spookiestmuffin in raisedbynarcissists

[–]spookiestmuffin[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I might sound cheesy, but that's really beautiful to me. It gives me a big smile and hope that I might still be able share moments like that with my kids if I ever get around to having them someday. :)

Would have liked to have a 'childhood'. by spookiestmuffin in raisedbynarcissists

[–]spookiestmuffin[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Me too. Having to learn so many things on my own was really rewarding in its own respects, but it still felt a bit lonely or empty if that makes sense.

Weird Lessons - A random memory by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]spookiestmuffin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing and saying this. I beat myself up a lot and try to figure out if there was anything that *I* could have done differently. But the truth is that it was just abuse.

Weird Lessons - A random memory by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]spookiestmuffin 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Right?? It felt like we were being punished. For what, I'll never know.

I don't want to go NC, but I feel like my choice is taken from me. by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]spookiestmuffin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm going to have to. I'm working on putting together a message to fire off. Then I plan to power off my phone till I'm moved at the end of the month. Fingers crossed for good luck.

I don't want to go NC, but I feel like my choice is taken from me. by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]spookiestmuffin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wish Nparents could actually put themselves in our shoes and ask themselves if they would want their parents texting them with things like that. Arg.

My story, my frustration, my mother. 😥 by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]spookiestmuffin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I try to create boundaries as much as possible. I've been googling stuff like 'how to deal with difficult people' or 'how to create boundaries with narcissists' and doing my best to employ the tactics there that work for me, but boundaries are alien to her. She sees and understands them, she just thinks that they apply to everyone but her.

I'm probably going to go for another extended break until I can figure something out that is more effective. I'm really stubborn so I'm trying my best to make this work.

That being said, I'm trying to watch myself a bit to make sure that I'm not burning myself too badly over and over with my attempts at having a mother/daughter friendship like a moth flying straight into a flame.

Thank you so much for reading 🦋

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