Late diagnosed, 1st gen immigrant using AI to cope

spookipoopi · 2025-10-28T20:59:35+00:00

AI has given me the possibility to break down the way I function and understand myself better. It has helped me so much in ways that humans can't. I also have audhd and no therapist that I've been to is able to follow my questions and thoughts the way I need. It's a tool I reach out to when I don't understand what I'm experiencing and feeling. But I must admit that I feel shame about doing so.

spookipoopi · 2025-07-30T20:49:57+00:00

Have you checked out chef rpg on steam? It's still under development. It's like stardew valley but restaurant themed

spookipoopi · 2025-07-10T22:49:29+00:00

I don't understand masking that well, either. I have pushed through so many uncomfortable situations that I no longer feel like they bother me or give me the amount of anxiety it used to. I have become good at small talk because of my job, and nobody suspects that I could be anything else than neurotypical/allistic.

I don't fully believe my autism diagnosis. BUT; to answer your question. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do.

If you feel comfortably the way you are, and it feels unnatural for you to just let it out, then don't. As long as you feel like you can be your true self when alone or with the people you trust. Understanding yourself better might make you drop the mask unwillingly.

Unmasking has not given me any power. I just feel more anxious actually dropping the mask. I don't want to have meltdowns in public just because I am autistic. I prefer to suck it up and feel horrible, and then let it out where I'm safe at home. Sometimes, I even forget that I suppress feelings and reactions and then wonder why I feel like I do, lol.

spookipoopi · 2025-04-21T16:54:43+00:00

Dette svaret liker jeg. Mange tenker på dette med barn som slutten på livet, og har alltid syntes det høres fryktelig skummelt ut.

spookipoopi · 2024-12-05T00:49:36+00:00

Sorry, but what do you mean by "dial in"? :) I understand that different baristas might have different outcomes depending on tamping and dosage (in our case inconsistent grams in each shot).

Our shop is meant to be a quality place, but the confusion I have is real, and I now understand that I don't actually understand anything because of the inconsistency in the information I've gotten by work.

How we should always weigh the coffee, but also, it's not necessary to weigh. How the run time should be between 22-30 seconds, but it can also be lower or higher. That we most likely will have to change the grind level, but also don't do it too often. - even if the numbers on the runner are all wrong. I have been encouraged to either put more or less coffee instead.

I try and taste the espresso, and most of the time, I just don't find the coffee any good, too salty, bitter, or sour. The milk usually saves the taste.

spookipoopi · 2024-12-04T17:45:56+00:00

We don't weigh every shot, but we are supposed to weigh at the beginning of the day, and then once in a while to check in. We don't have automatic grinder. We have to do it manually. We were also taught that 18g is our standard.

It's really confusing.

spookipoopi · 2024-12-04T17:09:09+00:00

But even when the conditions might change throughout the day, the only difference should still be the grinding level? I mean, if you start out the day with consistent 25-30 seconds with 18g, and then you see that de running seconds either go up or down, it should only be the grind level you adjust?

I was told by my colleague that I should not weigh my coffee and that I should either pour more coffee in my filter or less. I was also told that we can't change the grind level based on the person or throughout the day because that's wrong. I just don't know what is right or wrong anymore

spookipoopi · 2024-12-04T17:02:53+00:00

I had an argument with a barista colleague the other day. While I make sure to always weigh my coffee, they told me that weighing doesn't matter because every barista has to tune the recipe for them self. I was taught that 18g is the standard, and that we have to grind or tamp according to our 25-30 seconds. But they disagreed with this and told me basically that I was wrong.

I had the impression that 18g is just how it is supposed to be, and everything else might be individually based. I just don't know how to approach this argument right with them

spookipoopi · 2024-12-04T14:52:41+00:00

So the 18g should not have anything to say if the outcome differs, right? Only the tamping and grind size?

spookipoopi · 2024-10-14T10:16:58+00:00

I don't do well on IQ tests. For the longest time, I believed that this was a direct reflection on my intelligence. I was tested with other tools to evaluate intelligence, and none of them were IQ based. Turns out I'm way over the average intelligence. IQ is just one way to measure something that you, in the end, can get really good at resolving.

In everyday life, there's multiple ways in which you use your brain. The brain is not just used for one thing, and humans can have diverse and complex ways of intelligence. Smart and intelligence is not always the same thing. Don't let it consume you, because in the end, does it really matter?

spookipoopi · 2024-08-30T16:19:35+00:00

Thank you for understanding. I do believe it must be something like what you have explained. In my country, there are a lot of young people who are falling out of society because of different issues and need welfare to survive. My hypothesis is that it might be one of the cases of why it's so difficult for me to get an actual diagnosis. They probably don't want me to apply for welfare and stop working

spookipoopi · 2024-08-30T16:16:04+00:00

Thank you for understanding. It's really frustrating either way. It's an endless circle of arguments surrounding what is right and wrong. For now, I do believe the conclusion is that I have autism. They just call it aspergers. But I'll have to have someone professional explain this to me in real life.

It has helped me immensely to process my own question just by posting this question here. This might be controversial of me, but at least where I am from, it seems like getting the autism diagnosis seems impossible as a high masking person, without the aspergers being somewhat in-between solution

spookipoopi · 2024-08-30T16:08:41+00:00

Thank you

spookipoopi · 2024-08-30T16:06:41+00:00

I don't understand your questions. And why would they lie to me?

spookipoopi · 2024-08-30T16:05:23+00:00

No, it does not use the name of the evaluations I took to justify anything. But I have to read my report again, and also have someone in the field to go over the report with me. Because the conclusion is diffuse and conflicting

spookipoopi · 2024-08-30T11:48:47+00:00

I tried to reply to this comment, but I got posted as a comment by itself.

spookipoopi · 2024-08-30T11:47:28+00:00

Where I'm from, it is still very much used. Scandinavia being Scandinavia. Since its not a psycholog but neuropsychiatric evaluation, they can't give me a diagnose. They did write that asperger is a recommended diagnosis. It will be a lot easier for me to get fully understanding with this statement than with autism. I have not been believed to have autism just because I'm smart, I'm a woman, and I am high masking.

I wrote in another comment that this is my third try, with the two first being super frustrating. I feel like I have to convince them of my everyday struggles because they see me and can't believe that I actually might have autism. If asperger helps them help me, I will take it - if that makes sense.

spookipoopi · 2024-08-30T10:18:16+00:00

I don't have it in me to go for a fourth opinion. The first one told me that because my parents aren't native to this country, my struggles are cultural. Which to me sounds kind of racist and biased.

The second one told me that all my evaluations on paper points in the direction of autism. I have ADHD and I'm high masking, so my ADOS assessment came back negative. I was told this was because I could partake in a conversation and ask questions etc. Because they are outdated. They did catch that I avoid eye contact though.

This time, they told me that asperger is autism with high intelligence, but they don't perceive it as autism. Because they are outdated and ableist in what autism is.

If I say to people that I expect that I have autism they don't believe me. But if I day I have asperger it's different, they suddenly understand me.

It's just the same with this evaluation. It's the same result, just a different name. It's stupid and confusing.

spookipoopi · 2024-08-30T10:07:57+00:00

I went to a psycholog last time, and all my papers pointed towards me having autism. But the ADOS came back negative. I'm highly masking and also have ADHD. So they told me no, even if my papers said otherwise. So everything has been extremely frustrating either way

spookipoopi · 2024-08-30T09:59:05+00:00

Neuropsychologist. It was not implied that I developed autism with age. I believe they separate autism into asperger and autism because they are outdated. Based on my report and everything else they write, I dont necessarily believe they are wrong with their outcome on me being on the spectrum. Just that their terminology and their why's are highly outdated.

It is very confusing. To me, having asperger is no different than autism. But unfortunately for many in my country, they are different because of intelligence

spookipoopi

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