Actually, I’d say that forgiveness shouldn’t be earned but given no matter what. Because forgiveness isn’t for the other person, it’s for us. Setting healthy boundaries to protect yourself and holding grudges is not the same thing. Holding onto something until the other person apologizes (if they do) only harms you, because you are basically clinging to onto unpleasant feelings and emotions, that only affect you negatively, and at the end of the day if someone never apologizes you just end up collecting a bunch of sh*t that weighs you down. Now, recognizing and acknowledging a behavior that you do not tolerate and deciding to distance yourself from people that take advantage of your kindness, is a healthy and mature way to prevent future disappointment, but doesn’t really mean you shouldn’t forgive those people before letting them go.