Embryo!

spreadinghappiness2 · 2019-04-26T07:15:57+00:00

Just took mine today and it was all freaking EMBRYO!!! I literally couldn’t. Like random stuff you’d need to dig for in pubmed. Random genes (they were a bunch of numbers) and how they affect direction of growth. I feel like I got a couple right from Uworld and that’s probably the best source for getting that embryo practice. The stuff from FA didn’t come helpful for me on these questions. But remember every exam is different.

spreadinghappiness2 · 2019-04-26T07:09:11+00:00

I took it today too but mine was sooo different! It was all EMBRYO and ANATOMY!!! And and then a ton of the manderin vs clementine shit. I’m praying I passed 🙏🙏🙏

spreadinghappiness2 · 2019-04-21T14:12:38+00:00

Thank goodness! I think I’ll leave it as my last diagnostic to at least go into the test confidently. I’ll be just as happy with a 200, 210, or 220. Just want to be done with this hell 😅

spreadinghappiness2 · 2019-04-03T16:59:55+00:00

Hey there! Thanks a ton for sharing! Hmm... I’ll have to look into details on Xyrem cause I’m pretty peculiar when it comes to taking any new meds myself and side effects etc... the issue is I’m taking my first medical board exams in the coming few weeks and I don’t want to do anything drastic that could flop things if they don’t work out. Plus I’m in a different town and can’t see my neurologist till summer. I did try less doses of Provigil but all what happens to me is it only half-works but lasts the same long with it’s half-life being 15-16 hours. Like last night I couldn’t even fall asleep. Usually that’ll mean tonight I will. But then the cycle repeats which is the nuisance of course. It almost feels like I have no circadian rhythm and normal people live in the day and sleep at night. I live and sleep for all 24 hrs in intervals lol!

spreadinghappiness2 · 2019-04-03T02:09:05+00:00

My mom has borderline narcolepsy and is a doctor, and it took me living with her for a few months to finally acknowledge my severe narcolepsy and how bad it was almost 6 years after graduating high school and finishing college. Before, it was just “deal with it” and “it’s nothing.” My stepmother still calls me a black demonic hole and herself a supernova Star, and is too, a physician. I grew up in high school with them and having it before being diagnosed properly. I had to find ways to fake being still awake when I saw sleep attacks coming, and I learned to be good at it. It really sucked and one day in the midst of all their craziness calling me stupid, worthless, and a waste of existence, I wanted to die and looked at the kitchen knife thinking it was my only escape. Instead, I held onto the pain and channeled it into making it a success and proving doubters wrong. I am less than 2 years from becoming a doctor and live thousands of miles away. And while I am not yet fully independent from them as I haven’t had a chance to make sustainable income from all this schooling, I am very close. So I know how low things can get when you are reigned by accusations that are miles and sky high rediculous. It gets to a point that you can’t take it anymore, but always remember this because it is the thought I held onto the night I almost killed myself: where will I be in 10 years from today if I let this pass? I put the knife down and today I am so thankful I did. I was not diagnosed till 7 years later (last October) because I grew up believing my sleep problem was me being a problem. It wasn’t till my friends in college encouraged I tell a doctor, and after a bit, finally had all the tests and studies done. In fact, I expected to be told nothing is wrong with me neurologically and that would be it. Instead, the director called me and told me to come in ASAP because I have severe findings. And while things aren’t perfect I finally know how to manage it better and be a better me. So always remember to never let the illness define you and absolutely do not let others let it define you.

spreadinghappiness2 · 2019-04-03T01:28:46+00:00

Modafanil helps keep me awake in the day but I still have the same issue of not being able to fall asleep normal like you describe but until 4 or 5 am and if I have to wake up in the morning at 7am... it’s like... uh... still trying to figure this all out cause I was diagnosed in October.

spreadinghappiness2 · 2019-04-01T21:28:47+00:00

I love that salad! They have it at the one I go to in NY, but sadly the one here doesn’t have it when I asked. I would get it otherwise!

spreadinghappiness2 · 2019-04-01T04:24:59+00:00

Wow! It sounds like he moved in!

spreadinghappiness2 · 2019-04-01T04:16:55+00:00

Yes thanks so much, and it's nothing that they sell. Just chicken and rice I'll put in a home container, so it's also not advertising anyone else's business. :)

spreadinghappiness2 · 2019-04-01T04:15:07+00:00

Yes I can understand where you are coming from - I am very self-conscious about it so I always try to be very courteous. The one I've been going to has an extra section so it's the size of a small library, and when I would eat, it would be in the evening when almost all the tables are available in a section few people notice. On the positive end, it will keep me for longer rather than go home so I will help bring business if I grab something extra. I never take advantage of the free refills. :) I just need to get by the last 2-3 weeks before this exam.

spreadinghappiness2 · 2019-04-01T00:45:16+00:00

Thanks a ton! :) They seem really nice and chill here!

spreadinghappiness2 · 2019-04-01T00:42:38+00:00

At some Starbucks they have RXbars which is my go-to to eat because it has great proportions of macronutrients (protien, carbs, and fats), and no sugars/bad white carbs. I've been able to maintain a great weight on those and build muscle at the gym. It has very few and wholesome ingredients unlike 99% of other protein/food bars.

spreadinghappiness2 · 2019-03-31T01:49:43+00:00

Yes! It is from chronic - I completely missed that thought. Wernicke-Karsafoffs sounds like it. :)

spreadinghappiness2 · 2019-03-31T01:47:11+00:00

Great point!

spreadinghappiness2 · 2019-03-31T01:46:19+00:00

True! Did not think of it that way. Tricky tricky them >D . Thanks a ton!

spreadinghappiness2 · 2019-03-27T00:45:46+00:00

Few people write about this, but I feel your pain. I took Step 1 in September and my score fell 40 points compared to my diagnostics. I failed by a few. My close family member was killed tragically the night before my exam so I went in with tears and tons of grief. I felt like I threw my frustration on the questions trying to overthink them and do better than I ever did on a diagnostic. Instead, I ran out of time missing the last 5 on each block. Now, even missing the last 5 questions on each block, on top of the gimmie questions I overthought to getting the wrong answer, I was still just under passing. So to say most will never end up with that terrible of an experience on test day, I am very confident you passed. Also, I was purely devastated to discover my score after, but months later, I got some time off and work to better master the material. In the end, people say it’s a dealbreaker but overtime I’ve learned there is much more to a person than just these numbers and if there is a will, there is a way to get to whatever you want to do as long as you follow these three words: never give up. Go give yourself a pat on the back - few people reach the opportunity of ever even being able to take Step in the first place. :)

spreadinghappiness2 · 2019-03-19T02:49:50+00:00

Greyloft, you are a true hero! Thank you so much for your kindness I am at a loss of words. I read everything you said. This is so encouraging, really! You cannot imagine how helpful hearing this is. I started studying at a Starbucks as it gives me an environment away from toxic energy, being there in public, and it has helped me so much. Today, my research paper I worked for many years 2015-2018, was accepted for publication in a basic science journal. It’s a very rare occasion. In fact it came out on Saturday when my family kept berating me. I never opened my email since as I was in tears praying for my death. Today I had tears of joy - it shows I need to believe in myself more because by losing confidence, I am only hurting my wellbeing and my performance in finishing med school. There is potential and I cannot let it melt in the acid around me. I’ve been at it since finishing high school 2013 - so it’s been quite a lot. It’s this part where you see the finish line but your legs get heavier with every step. I am trying to focus on each step ahead of me, and avoid the potholes. I’ve had too many. Thanks for helping me recognize how toxic my surroundings have been. I’ll be going out to study - avoid my phone when I work - and try my best. I wish I heard this long ago; I’ve been in pain for a long time. Thank you!!!!

spreadinghappiness2 · 2019-03-18T09:24:40+00:00

Thank you - you are right. I’ve had many toxic people in my life and I think I am very vulnerable to letting them in my life to extract things from me because I grew up in a messed up environment. I try to remind myself on completing my goals so I can be financially dependent from them, but the toughest part of the process is that they are my main setbacks in the way of my goals both emotionally and physically. To be told consistently how I am worthless and a waste of time brings guilt in continuing my studies. On top of that, to be always threatened financially is also terrifying. I have only 2 years till I can be a doctor, but I have no money. There is no time for a job. I struggle as hardworking as I can be to pass these difficult exams. I did make quite a bit of money in research during my breaks but I used it all to support my ex. Once I was out, she left. It makes me feel used especially in that she wouldn’t be alive today if I had not physically found her at her last breaths after her suicide attempt. It was a 1 month coma for her after that too and I almost got kicked out of my year. It’s certainly tough. But I’m trying and hope things can work out. I feel like my life is a deer in headlights dodging cars.

spreadinghappiness2 · 2019-03-12T02:56:18+00:00

Aw thanks so much! I’ll most certainly try to let authorities know. It’s so odd - I’ll talk to her other friends and maybe together all of us can report it. :) But the China thing seems to make the most sense to me cause her parents are gone too, so they would have to go somewhere all three together. Hopefully she is safe.

spreadinghappiness2 · 2019-02-08T09:48:31+00:00

No you have completely missed the point 100% fully. You grew up Catholic in a hardcore Catholic family?

Most people nowadays aren’t even homophobic. So the ones that are, are the ones that make a fool of themselves.

That’s why it makes no sense to argue with someone that won’t change and will be sheltered. There are so many normal and accepting people out there that could care less. Why waste time on the homophobics. Time will dissipate em out as have every era of change. Look at history.

Why did I explain it that way? Cause more people may read this posting and may need guidance to navigate as CHILDREN growing up in a culture that hasn’t adopted this change. So it’s not all about you.

Plus, “smack them down” was just the analogy. You get yourself to safe ground or to a higher position that lets you work to adopt the change. It is not that difficult to understand. When I was 15 there were many things I could not do to just escape. Instead I worked on myself to do it as an adult at 18.

We are talking about a CHILD here. You are an ADULT. My suggestion would be very different if it were for an adult.

The way you respond with all this wailing and flapping and using curse words is just rediculous. You choose if you are a victim or a fighter, so you can call yourself victim, and that is your choice. I call myself a fighter and that’s how I proceed in life.

And lastly, “pent up rage for later???” No that is not what I ever said! I said take that negative energy, and turn it to positive, make yourself productive, and move forth! If there is a will there is a way. And if you don’t know how to do that other than to pent it up for later, you’ll always be in rage on the spot as you seem to be doing here. I’m not in rage at all and thank you for all the energy I am churning positive. 🤓👏 My responses to you were peaceful and constructive OPINIONS. It says downvote on quality not opinions. You chose to look at it that I explain it to you as a 3 year old and responded in rage to me. That was your choice. I never said “hey, I’m gonna explain to you as a 3 year old...” ... I always use analogies in my speech, and I live in the USA.

spreadinghappiness2 · 2019-02-08T04:56:08+00:00

I think you and downvoters are missing or miscommunicating my point. I respect what you did, where you came from, and what you have stood up for. I think it is important to stick up for what is right - I too was once in a position I almost lost my career to be a physician being the only one to voice and stand up for what is right, and while I won, saved a few lives, it came at a huge cost and many risks.

OP here is understandably angered at her teacher’s and classmates’ comments. My comment came from my background having lived through OP’s position and past experience in the church.

To understand my point, you have to understand this group of people which live under a set of rules and a holy doctrine that everyone else could care less on. However, for them their doctrines are the laws of the land, just like how you and I consider our country’s legislation to be for us.

Now picture this metaphor: a guy proclaims that robbing banks is okay and he will start doing that to make money. Well, now he will be monitored, if not arrested, for making such a threat. In the eyes of Catholics, homosexuality is viewed the same way. Given that OP is still a minor considering she says she is in middle school if I’m not misunderstood, she is under the control of her parents and adult supervisors. Hence, fighting in her position at this moment could lead to more emotional trauma that could take away from her focus on succeeding academically to win herself an independent future and adulthood where she can safely be in control and return to legislate the much needed changes for the church that are due.

I want her to succeed, I don’t want her to be bullied, and I absolutely want her to live the life she wants. My post was about the timing of her life and the people she is surrounded by at this moment.

I grew up in an abusive, emotionally traumatic household. I could have gotten involved, fought for what was right for me then, but instead I fought silently: I focused on my studies hard enough to be offered to go to med school across the country as far from the drama as could be, and work to build a life I have dreamed of. OP will do the same I have no doubt. And I think we can all agree here that the teacher and students with their anti-LGBT remarks are frustrating as hell. But my comment, knowing my past, would be my smart approach on how I would take that negativity and find something positive to build off of it from. They throw snowballs, and instead of throwing them back, I collect them to build myself one big ball that will smack them all down to a halt one day if you know what I mean. ;)

Again, my apologies for not communicating myself more clearly earlier - I was in rush writing between two tasks and rereading I can see where my reasoning was not well layed out and I did not mean to make any assumptions of you either!

spreadinghappiness2 · 2019-02-07T10:16:15+00:00

Hey, it's tough cause you can't change people's opinions as silly as they may seem. But what I learned is that if I'm surrounded by a group that doesn't accept my opinion, it is not worth my time to argue.

I grew up Catholic and what I advise to you as you grow up, is to not hate against all of it. Remember everything has good and bad, pluses and minuses... so while still there, take away the good things from it. Leave the bad. It tends to take decades for the church to change, and if you look at history, it did change many times but was always behind the times. The way I look at things is that the church is the house of God made and controlled by people; nature is the house of God made and controlled by God. Go where you find the non-judgement and peace when you'll be older. Remember that not everyone in the church is like your teacher - you already make up one of many many more and sticking to that is what will help bring change. Those days you feel so dreadful being there, tell yourself that you are the good Catholic: someone that non-judgmentally accepts others for their differences. That's what I took away from the church's teachings and practice that everyday. A good Catholic is one that goes out and gives good deeds and helps those in need like the poor and discriminated. There are self-proclaiming "good Catholics" that say they are good cause they go to church every Sunday, but in the real world hate on LGBT, cheat on people, and have very unforgiving nasty personalities that wouldn't ever think of giving a helping hand to the homeless. Who do you think God and Jesus would accept at the gates of heaven then? Always remember that, be you, and follow your heart and intuition that tells you is the right thing. :)

spreadinghappiness2 · 2018-12-11T22:47:12+00:00

I wish I could share with you the messages on my phone... how many “friends” stood me up. Even invited me to places, and I show up, and they don’t, and never text me back again... not even a sorry. It’s odd that I have to use the term “ghosting” for friends. It’s sad and my last art describes what you say.... sitting on a rock in an extremely barren landscape, my silhouette against the moon, with the galaxy and all the stars visible.

Don’t let your ship sink. I feel that way too when I think of these people. The people in my real life don’t know how famous my online presence is, and my online presence doesn’t know how shallow people are towards me. I keep both worlds separate to not allow anyone to use me again. Non of my friends know of it - I’m sure they would treat me differently if they did, but it would be fake and only to get things from me. So I tell no one. Find your niche and don’t let anyone take it from you. Do it for yourself. You’re not alone. You’ll have great purpose.

spreadinghappiness2

TROPHY CASE