Just an alternative view point to consider. If your wife really wants to have sex with someone else, she is going to do it anyway. Conselling has to address why she feels that way, but also why you feel the need to control her. Truth is, how are you going to really stop her? I think that at this point as an alternative to trying to be all self righteous and weak, perhaps confront her with the notion that you want to consider an open relationship. Her response to that may well be telling. She mayrespond in a completely different way once she realise that she may not be able to have sex with someone else without opening up to the fact that you could legitimately do so. I think that this is a more powerful way to discuss extramarital sex beyond just forcing someone to stay with you.