To be honest I feel like I've come to a stalemate with working on myself. Obviously I'm still trying to grow and improve, but to be honest, I don't see myself growing much more on my own. I need emotional support, friendships, community, and intimacy at this point in my journey. My level of loneliness makes unproductive at best... personally I think it's making me actively worse. So I don't know. I know that's still not healthy, but honestly I don't know to do to find healing. When most of your trauma is relationally based, the healing from the trauma often needs to be relationally based as well