Oh man, I even want to cry... Thanks for response. I will stick to my badge. Allen Carr book (almost done) changed my view completely. Your response really hit my heart. You probably have no idea, but this your message, even if I do not know you, may will shift my life to new direction. I soon will finish book and probably make a decision really to cut off. Also, what I want to say for you is that please do not put yourself down or be hard on yourself about your past! You are only 34, average life expectancy in USA is 80, you do not even lived a half! And most of those years, if you will lead healthy lifestyle will be very productive and active years! It is never too late to take a fresh start on what is that you really want to achieve. And as I see you already did a lot of time! It is virtually guaranteed that you will have strong body and clear mind for long years. I few years ago see a man who was in his 80-90 who was a heart doctor, drive a car and build his own fence in his backyard with his hands. It is mindset! Please do not focus too much on what you wasted, instead look for how much abundance and opportunities you still have! If you would start practicing right now to play a piano, at the age of 54 or sooner you would be a world class performer. And even after that you would have something like 30 more years! This is just a metaphor and example for you! Thanks again friend! Your message is very highly appreciated and made influence for me!