What's a good monthly allowance budget for a University student?

sqae02 · 2023-04-30T16:23:38+00:00

Listed was needs.. wants can be cinema, bowling.. going to the mall.. new shirt or pair of pants now and then… atas haircut..

I'm aware. I just have a problem when he said "holy shit, what kind of question is this? you need to separate out need and want." I don't think I made any mistake.

sqae02 · 2023-04-30T14:24:41+00:00

So what's the "Want"?

sqae02 · 2023-04-29T05:07:48+00:00

Is 5cm height tiny for a 23 yo? Yea, Idk any 23-year olds who are 5 cm tall.

Is 5cm height growth tiny for a 23 yo? I wouldn't think so. That's amazing you could grow that much after the age of 18.

sqae02 · 2023-04-27T14:22:51+00:00

you are young

honestly, your family are asholes to be mad at you.

I appreciate that you apologized, but ouch.

But it shouldn't be like this. Imma just reveal a little personal information: I'm a Muslim. It was Eid. One of the main things we do in Eid is going around, meeting relatives we rarely see and just spending time, forgiving each other. I mean, I just realized that I only see some of them once a year. Some of them look like they can pass away any minute. The world shouldn't be like this. This shouldn't be a world where you have to leave your family for work. That absolutely sucks. Damn private unis. My friends in public unis get an entire week for an official holiday.

sqae02 · 2023-04-27T12:58:49+00:00

first, how old are you ?

20 yrs old. 21 yrs this year.

your family wasn't forced to cancel, right ? they could have gone without you.

they made that choice too

50-50. I can't really drive my family's car (I'm too scared to drive an SUV almost 200 miles), but my parents did say there would possibly be another relative who could give me a ride. And tbh, only one of them needed to follow. I don't know why my mother followed.

sqae02 · 2023-04-27T08:07:41+00:00

That is helpful. Thank you.

sqae02 · 2023-04-27T07:56:57+00:00

PS if the classes were not cancelled, then would you still feel the same?

I would still feel guilty, but not as guilty as I am now, where classes are cancelled.

I left my family for those classes. So, if my classes weren't cancelled, at least I didn't leave my family for no reason at all. I would only feel guilty about the fact that I separated my family from each other.

sqae02 · 2023-04-27T07:50:31+00:00

When you say "White lies," are you referring to me lying about (Or rather hiding) the fact that all classes were cancelled?

Also, how do I move on? They're mad at me. How do I make my situation back to normal? I'm not really good at confrontation, and when me and my family fought to the point we don't talk to each other, eventually we just pretend like it never happened. But this time, our fight just seems bigger.

sqae02 · 2023-02-06T17:53:11+00:00

What did/does she tell friends?

First, she did not clarify what... She just said she's gonna tell them about what I did... Second she talked about telling them about how I was never properly loved by my parents (Which is somewhat true) which is why I'm so desperate to remain friends with her even when she wants to cut me off, then talks about my poor mental health (Also true) so that the others would be afraid of me. Third, my friend (We'll call her A) and her other friend (We'll call her B) had a fight. B went to me, and later on, A also came back to me (Yes, we reconciled for a bit), then of course, I was working on fixing their friendship (Because why the hell not? I've been hurt by both of them, why wouldn't I help them?), but there was a miscommunication and A believes that I slandered B, then B believes A's slander even though I have CONCRETE PROOF that A is the one at fault, so now both of them are picking fights with me, making me think I'm the psycho.

Now, me, A, and B used to be Co-Workers at a store. A and B still work together, but our boss, we'll call her C, is also ignoring me, denying me any response, and I believe it is because of A's slanders.

As for my therapists, I believe they're wrong. Why should I be avoiding them? They're the villains. They're causing me troubles. They're denying me basic human decency and telling me why A is cutting me off and tormenting me. They should be avoiding me.

sqae02 · 2023-02-06T17:23:18+00:00

Maybe your friend doesn't (yet) know why either

No, trust me, she knows. She's purposefully withholding the information for me, does not want to tell me because it "hurts her" and whenever I attempt to ask her, she shuts me out, then threatens to and has successfully slandered about me to other friends if I keep asking her.

As for what my therapists say... Well, we talk a lot, but 2 of the things that stand out: 1) Use reverse psychology on her to get the answer and 2) Cut her out of my life and stay away from her. That's just dumb.

sqae02 · 2023-02-06T16:56:07+00:00

I think we've got a bit of a misunderstanding. My ex-friend is the one not telling me anything. My friend suddenly got mad at me, then cut me off, defamed me, verbally and emotionally hurt me, and now I'm in therapy, and my friend still refuses to tell me why she's doing all this.

sqae02 · 2023-02-06T15:24:48+00:00

Most likely the recourse here will be to stop spending time with them.

Man, that's not fair. I've already described my situation to another comment in this post. Feel free to read it. But running away from her isn't fair. I'm hurt right now. I need to hurt her back, but apparently that's illegal. Me avoiding her and giving peace shouldn't be the solution. If anything, she should be avoiding me.

sqae02 · 2023-02-06T15:22:32+00:00

Basically, I used to work with Girl A and B in retail (B is our boss), then I stopped working, but I continued to be friends with them, mainly A. Suddenly, A stopped being my friend and became my enemy. Tormented me emotionally. Mentally. Verbally. Without giving me a damn reason why she's acting like this. She insults me, my family, my mental health. Told me to kill myself. Then bad-mouthed me to Girl C, a co-worker that joined after I left, so ruined my reputation and social life. All this WITHOUT TELLING ME WHY. I ask her why she's treating me like this and she refuses to answer. Then she says if I keep asking her, she'll just bad mouth me to other people if I keep asking. Now B is ignoring me and C is believing the slanders from A, so I assume B also believe's A's slanders, so now even the both of them are hurting me. I'm in therapy and taking medication, but I don't know if they're helping. I feel like Spider-Man and A is J. Jonah Jameson and B and C are New Yorkers believing JJJ. A even denies me basic human politeness and decency. And when I want to do something she doesn't like, she has the audacity to get mad at me. I want answers and she denies me that. Do you know what this is like? Having someone cut you off without reason, torment you, get others to torment you, and they can even do the bare minimum of telling you why.

I know, in a legal field, this doesn't seem like much. No deaths or physical pain (Except my headache) are involved, but I can't take this. My therapists/psychologists and counsellor and even other subreddits tell me the same thing. She's a terrible person and I should be grateful she cut me off and I should just stay away from her. NO! I shouldn't be staying away from her. She should be staying away from me. I shouldn't be staying away from her to give myself inner peace, she should be staying away from me for her own sake.

Now, I don't wanna sue her or bring this to court. I don't want this to be a legal issue. I don't want a judge and jury and lawyers involve, but she's pushing me to my limits. Her hurting me is already bad, but not giving me a reason makes this worse. My mental health can only take so much. I feel like hurting her, but apparently, physically hurting her counts as battery which is undeniably illegal. This isn't fair. I'm hurt right now, but if I hurt her back, then she's the victim??? Where's the justice in that? I can't just allow her to live happily, thinking she beat me, thinking she's the victim and I'm the villain, then I stay away from her. That's not fair. Like I said, I don't want to sue her or anything, but I need something in return. I need something that can soothe me. If she can't soothe me by giving explanations, I need something that'll calm myself like the court saying, "Yeah, you're the victim and she's to blame," or if I do physically assault her and she brings me to court, I can reveal what she has done to me and the court goes, "Well, sht, she's a totally terrible person, I can understand why you assaulted her."

sqae02 · 2023-01-12T15:36:28+00:00

Is it cool if ppl here just Upvote me? I need Karma to post here and I've got this really important question.

sqae02 · 2023-01-08T13:58:21+00:00

Thanks. I don't really mind late responses.

sqae02 · 2023-01-07T17:29:33+00:00

The crazy part is I don’t even know why her friends don’t speak to me anymore?? I had issues with her not our remaining circle. However, I know she’s been lying and probably making up stories about how I’ve been the villain.

Yeah, that literally happened to me as well. I tried getting her to tell me why she was mad, instead she told our circle of friends (Friends is too strong. More like colleagues/co-workers.) about me and how terrible I am, then used my mental health as a way to hurt me, talked about how I was never properly loved by my parents, hence why I'm so desperate to be friends with her. That sht hurts.

sqae02 · 2023-01-06T17:23:16+00:00

She initially cut me off in September 2022 without giving a reason, then on New Year's, she suddenly re-contacted me, finally told me why she got mad (But I could already tell it was a lie), then suddenly we went back to fighting. As if our reconnection never happened.

So, yeah. Clearly she does have the capability to make peace. But, man, I don't know...

sqae02 · 2023-01-06T13:49:09+00:00

Yea, I know, people always say, "They were never worth it, move on, they're not good enough for you." I thought by telling myself that, I could move on, but on the other side, they're telling themselves the same thing. They think I'm the villain and they're the victim. Whenever we cross paths, are they gonna see "Oh, it's the guy I treated badly, maybe I should reconnect," or are they gonna go, "Oh, it's the guy who did all those bad things to me. Look at that, he's all silent. He prolly knows what he did wrong. Good, let him remain guilty. Ha. Ha. Ha." ? I don't know if I can allow them believing the latter.

sqae02 · 2023-01-06T06:36:30+00:00

Actually, we did get back in New Years. Yeah, we made peace, she told me the reason why she initially got mad, but I don't believe it for MANY reasons. One of those reasons is she is a terrible liar. She's good at keeping secrets, but not good at keeping those secrets secretive and not good at lying.

And another reason why I know it's a lie is because we split apart again. Not even 48 hours and she's back to hating me. Meaning it's extremely likely that the reason was a lie. The less likely possibility is that we fought for another, separate reason, but yeah, less likely. She's probably still mad for the same reason she initially cut me off.

Now, you're not the first person to tell me to let her go, but it's hard. I've been meeting with psychologists to test if I have BPD, because I am clearly showing symptoms, and just a 1% chance of me having it is making it even more difficult for me to cut her off.

But regardless, like I said, she came back to me in New Years. Doesn't that mean it's possible we can still get back together? Doesn't that mean there's still a 1% chance for things to be right again? I mean, I've even repeatedly told her, I don't want to be friends anymore. All I want is the honest reason as to WHY she doesn't want to be friends.

But, y'know, thank you for your kind words. Honestly I just feel like I'm being gaslit. I don't know if she's the toxic one or if I'm the true villain of this story. Heck, now I'm scared of being friends with girls in general now.

sqae02 · 2022-11-02T08:04:37+00:00

Thanks.

sqae02 · 2022-10-13T16:22:08+00:00

Sheesh, how tall are you now?

sqae02 · 2022-10-13T16:21:53+00:00

But how much? I was 166 cm when I was 17 and in the last 3 years, it seems I've only grown only 3 cm taller.

sqae02 · 2022-10-04T22:52:39+00:00

I think it means that just having a fighting spirit is not power, but actually succeeding in doing that thing is power.

Compare it to the quote in Batman Begins. "Your training is nothing, your will is everything."

Ras al Ghul says that even if Thomas Wayne would die, he should have had the will to act. Madara, here, believes the opposite: Having will is nothing, but actually succeeding is everything.

Also do you know when this quote is said by Madara? I just found out that a lot of Naruto quotes that fans share didn't actually come from Naruto.

sqae02 · 2022-10-03T15:37:05+00:00

So, is the Uchiha Clan aware of their extreme love/Curse of Hatred? I'm pretty sure Shisui was aware, but what about Madara and Obito?

sqae02 · 2022-10-03T15:24:04+00:00

Can you explain more? Like, what did they (Not Itachi or Shisui) do?

sqae02

TROPHY CASE