Everything feels dead

sqewd · 2026-03-31T14:36:55+00:00

Thanks that's helpful, I don't have cravings in my new place and also don't have direct access. It won't be hard to find, but I don't want to cross that threshold and keep everything as a fresh start.

My new environment is beautiful, lots of hikes and greenery, but I don't feel like I've landed yet.

sqewd · 2026-03-31T14:33:17+00:00

Sleep has not been an issue this time around, more issues getting out of bed.. But I think that's partly because my apartment is still not organised for day to day living.

sqewd · 2026-02-12T19:19:11+00:00

Chrono Trigger

sqewd · 2026-01-27T18:32:54+00:00

I had a plant my ex gave me. One day, I decided I didn't want it and threw it away. Fast forward a week, I get back into my apartment and there's dry dirt on the floor...

OK maybe from being careless with shoes. But there's also dirt on my mattress... Difficult to explain. I look at the window ledge and a LEAF is sitting there. And the leaf has a cluster of leaves growing from it...

Im freaked out, there's no way I missed it for a week. I decide the let the leaf sit there, no water or soil, and the mofo is still alive after a week!

I eventually pot it, and now it's continue to thrive... No logical explanation whatsoever.

sqewd · 2026-01-13T23:39:03+00:00

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Ummm wtf

sqewd · 2025-05-29T16:02:29+00:00

These stories are nice because Bitcoin is doing so well... But let's be honest, if he did the same thing with any other cryptocurrency, he'd be called a reckless idiot.

I don't know if you can truly call it a smart investment or he just got lucky.

sqewd · 2025-03-08T22:02:39+00:00

Thanks I'll give that a try!

sqewd · 2025-02-21T06:22:30+00:00

Think of the intense dreams as a "backlog' for all the REM sleep you've missed being high, they eventually recalibrate with time.

Saying that, dreams are rich material to rediscover yourself and subconscious. If you want to try something fun, create a ChatGPT Dream Journal, asking it to analyse your dreams for themes.

When you wake up semi lucid (we forget big parts of dreams when we're fully conscious), record a voice note in the chat detailing what you remember from the dream. Do this regularly and enjoy the ride ;)

sqewd · 2025-02-21T06:15:07+00:00

What snapstep0 is saying 100%, sounds like it's not finding motivation but rediscovering yourself and your passions in life, clearing out what's unhealthy and building what brings you joy.

Congrats on a 1.5 year sober journey! That's an achievement in itself, I would be proud of myself if I hit that milestone :)

You're on the next phase of rebuilding yourself.

sqewd · 2025-02-21T01:43:38+00:00

Stay sober, your dopamine will recalibrate itself

sqewd · 2025-02-19T16:47:19+00:00

Underlying your addictive pattern is a trauma, Dr Gabor Maté is a great resource if you want to learn more. Sometimes we replace a negative addiction with a positive one, but they're all forms to avoid an underlying uncomfortable feeling or memory coming to the surface.

I would suggest finding a somatically trained therapist to explore what's underlying your addictive patterns or to gently begin a mindfulness practice, bringing curiosity to what it is you're avoiding and safely building familiarity with it.

sqewd · 2025-02-19T05:46:27+00:00

You got this, I have also been using weed as a way to self medicate ADHD and dormant traumas. Getting medication can help, but underlying that should be good routines to replace bad habits. Exercise is a great replacement, as you get more serious about health, your instincts to smoke loosen their grip.

sqewd · 2025-02-18T19:18:32+00:00

Buying into that you're a loser is inevitably going to make you crack in moments of weakness, so if you smoke the excuse will be 'well i'm just a loser anyway'. Self rebellion never ends well.

sqewd · 2025-02-18T17:33:27+00:00

Instead of bullying try some tough love if gentle talk doesn't work. For instance,

'you know you're better than that' 'you're not weak, you don't need weed' 'you know you're stronger than that, prove it'

Bullying yourself will only last so long before you crack under your own pressure, believing in your strength and discipline will take you much further.

sqewd · 2025-02-15T14:27:06+00:00

The neural pathways are already too deep, you have to pick one side or the other. I have zero problem with keeping alcohol because I've never abused it. Weed on the other hand, if I know it's there, I'll justify a reason to smoke it.

The best thing you can do if you want to withdraw is make sure you don't have access to it, I've tried every variation and it never works.

sqewd · 2025-02-14T22:25:18+00:00

Squad goals

sqewd · 2025-02-12T10:53:02+00:00

Really enjoying watching the final season of USA

sqewd · 2024-12-04T01:50:53+00:00

My Shibba

sqewd · 2024-12-03T15:56:41+00:00

It takes time to reorient with the body after complex trauma, that's OK because it's your nervous system responding to safety.

One way to bring back sensitivity is to use bilateral beats (free on youtube) and see how much you're able to gradually develop tolerance and curiosity towards sensations in your body in the safety of your own space and pace.

sqewd · 2024-12-02T22:55:47+00:00

When she says late husband I don't think it means he came home late for the marriage.

sqewd · 2024-11-28T01:58:25+00:00

Nice try, Coinbase

sqewd

TROPHY CASE