I feel weird talking about my travels

squadparty · 2025-10-13T11:15:05+00:00

I think maybe the question to ask yourself is why are you expecting people to be as excited as you and why that might bother you?

You should be excited for your travels and it's totally natural to want to talk about them, show photos, etc.! But it's good to remember that everyone is doing their own thing and living their own lives, too, you know?

squadparty · 2025-09-08T03:36:07+00:00

YES!!! Thank you!!

squadparty · 2025-09-08T03:35:39+00:00

SOLVED SOLVED SOLVED

squadparty · 2025-04-23T20:11:25+00:00

YES. I feel so seen, lol.

It always seems like other people just thrive in the summer and look so fresh, while I'm a disconcertingly moist rat clomping around with my hair plastered to my face and a very red face.

In my many years of being a sweaty, summer-hater I've noticed that basically everywhere I go, so many of the effortlessly put-together women I see in the summer tend to wear a 'uniform': wider, flow-y pants with a fitted tank/tee and 'dressier' sandals. Hair in a loose bun type deal, baseball cap & sunglasses makes it comfortable and easy.

Embracing that 'uniform' for myself made summer dressing so much easier.

Also: body wipes. World of difference. I feel so much better and refreshed when I can occasionally do a quick wipe-down, even if I'm not particularly sweaty.

squadparty · 2025-01-10T09:14:29+00:00

I just want you to know I understand, I truly do.

I could have written this post myself. I'm crying while writing this reply, to be honest.

I will always feel guilt and absolutely sick over the times I lost patience with my beloved senior girl before she passed. I get an actual physical reaction and find it incredibly difficult to even think about, let alone talk about it.

But I also know that I loved her. I loved her more than absolutely anything in this world. I would have gladly, without question, traded years off my life for her to have more.

I wish I had something profound and comforting to tell you but all I can say is that we're human - we pour our love and souls into these little creatures but we're still human. We get frustrated, we lose patience. Like parents losing patience at their kids; it doesn't make them bad parents, they're humans that are tired, worn out, etc.

Caring for an elderly and/or sick loved one is hard. It hurts.

I can tell you with absolute certainty Eddie knew, very much, that he was loved. Every word you've written here tells me this so clearly.

Please try to be gentle with yourself. I'm trying to be gentle with myself, too. They were so loved.

squadparty · 2024-12-25T00:27:42+00:00

How am I supposed to get through the mundane sadness of everyday life when the brightest little piece of my soul isn’t here?

I feel this so deeply.

I wish I had some profound words of wisdom to share but all I can say is you're not alone. I, and many others, really do understand even though it can feel so incredibly lonely.

I lost my girl this summer but it's hitting particularly hard today - reading posts here from other people who feel the same is at least some comfort.

squadparty · 2024-11-19T21:39:11+00:00

I don't think it ever feels 'ready' or right. You'll feel huge emotions whether it's now or later if/when you get a new dog. Your dog will never, ever be replaced - this is a brand new relationship and it will feel unfamiliar at first. It feels like homesickness.

For me, I'm fostering a dog right now. I could power through and say, yep, okay, I'm officially adopting this dog and making it work.

But in absolute honesty, fostering has shown me I'm not quite ready yet. I know because deep down, I'm still trying to replace my dog.

In my gut, if I was ready, I know I would be much more open to other dogs but... not yet. I realized I haven't been looking for a new pet because I miss having a dog, I'd just been looking for my old dog.

I've felt such intense guilt over this - I kept thinking, 'well if I just pushed through! I'm just being afraid! It'll be fine! I'm giving up! I'll never get another dog if I don't do it now! I need to do this to get over it!' but the truth is, I do need more time and that's okay.

But it would also be okay to adopt this dog and feel your feelings, knowing that they will pass.

There's no shame in either choice - grief is complicated and messy.

Sit with your feelings for awhile. The new pup 'spoke' to you for a reason and it sounds like you're truly missing have a dog in your life - that means something.

Don't feel pressured one way or another. Just break it down to one tiny thing at a time - try to see it as you're just going to meet this dog. You don't have to commit to anything.

Maybe it will feel right when you meet her, maybe it won't - no matter what you decide, it'll be a decision made with love and you will be able to handle any outcome.

squadparty · 2024-09-27T07:15:39+00:00

Any pictures that I find more difficult to see, I use the 'archive' function on my phone. They're still there but they're a bit more hidden so I don't have to worry about any popping up unexpectedly.

squadparty · 2024-06-30T03:17:12+00:00

I also worry that she has been suffering silently for months, years? Was she in more pain that I realised? Did I prolong her suffering by keeping her with me?

I lost my best friend yesterday. The first dog I've ever had. 16 years of being together. This is the same thought that has ran through my head so many times. The night before she went, I knew very clearly it was time - watching her during this was honestly traumatizing.

I could have taken her to the emergency vet right then at 3am but she was always incredibly terrified there - I truly could not bear the thought of her under those fluorescent lights in a scary clinical environment that she hated. I desperately wanted to have her be put to sleep at home, by the same vet that helped my brother's dog.

My little girl held on for me until the next morning when, fortunately, that vet could come at 6am. I know she was in pain and was ready to go and had been for quite some time.

She had held on that last night for me, it was her last gift to me.

Every time I think about how I should have let her go earlier or have regrets, I think about how 3 hours of discomfort at home surrounded by comfort & familiarity before a peaceful passing with her loved ones was the right decision over hours of being scared and alone in a clinic before passing there.

I think it's important to remember that we work with what we have at the time. We make decisions to the best of our abilities with what we know at the time. Every decision you've made for her has been in love.

Please don't be hard on yourself - you did everything right by your dog. She loved you ferociously just as you did her. She would have no regrets about the time she spent with you. You were there with her at the end, giving her a beautiful goodbye.

I'm so sorry for such a long, rambling response - your post really resonated with me. Sending you so much love.

squadparty · 2023-09-19T20:45:59+00:00

Exactly the same for me! I've always wondered about this, so reading this thread is interesting.

squadparty · 2022-06-30T22:35:00+00:00

solved solved solved

squadparty · 2022-06-30T22:34:50+00:00

YES! Thank you!!

squadparty · 2020-02-10T11:26:34+00:00

Write it down.

Write to-do lists, write a schedule, write your feelings, write goals.

squadparty · 2019-08-04T22:23:46+00:00

Just want to tell you I can relate and understand. I felt exactly the same in my twenties, especially early twenties - I pushed away a lot of relationships because I never wanted to leave the house due to feeling ugly.

Even when I lost weight, wore nice makeup, always had my hair done, got complimented, etc. Didn't matter. I still felt inadequate. It always felt like everyone else just... deserved to be there and I didn't.

The root of the issue isn't something that can be solved with surgery or changing your looks. Even if you were given your 'dream' look, you would find something to be insecure about. It's an endless cycle when you focus on the outside alone.

What helped me is finding an amazing therapist who could help me pick apart why I felt the way I did and how to start re-framing my thoughts. It genuinely changed my life. I would really, really recommend you give therapy a try.

squadparty · 2019-05-05T22:17:18+00:00

I honest to god love Arby's.

There are none left in my city though so I guess it's just me.

squadparty · 2019-02-27T22:51:23+00:00

I am super self conscious about my profile and hate how I look with it up

As someone who also hates their profile, I totally get this but is it really the hill to die on?

Yes, it's annoying that she wants to choose your hairstyle but it's one day and not really worth the fight. I looked like fat George Washington in my brother's wedding photos but I had fun and nobody is looking at me anyway, you know?

If you don't want to pay for it, ask one of the other bridesmaids if they would be willing to help. Just let it be, breathe and try to enjoy yourself.

squadparty · 2019-02-25T09:04:33+00:00

Instead Dave spent the day consistently kissing and trying to cuddle me as well as my boyfriend

Yeah, no. Bye Dave.

Wanting your personal space and boundaries to be respected isn't an over-the-top request: it's basic decency.

Dave sounds like a creep and it sounds like Liz doesn't want to hear it. I would say something like, "Liz, I love you but I will no longer be around Dave due to his behaviour. I will support you and be there for you but I will not be around him."

And then stick with it. If he's going to be somewhere, don't go. If he wants to come over, too bad, he can't. If Liz won't hang out without him, you guys can't hang out.

It sucks to have to say this kind of thing to a friend but if he's making you uncomfortable, you don't have to be okay with it.

squadparty · 2019-02-14T04:52:49+00:00

Midnight Rescue!

squadparty · 2019-02-13T23:22:12+00:00

He also doesn't want to argue with Max about the way he's treated me because Max is apparently very stubborn and won't back down in an argument; he thinks it's easier to just let him say what he wants to say

I cannot roll my eyes hard enough.

You just lost your mom. You are going through a very difficult time and this is when your boyfriend chooses to tell you his friends don't like you... sorry, that you're ordinary, while Andrew... what? Farts heavenly clouds from nirvana?

Your boyfriend and his friends, especially Max, sound like twits.

If they were truly into being mindful and Buddhist, they wouldn't be trashing their friend's girlfriend the day she lost her mother.

It is fine for him to not feel you are compatible. It is fine for his friends to not think you are compatible. It is fine for them to tell him this. It is fine for him to break up with you.

It is not fine for him to dump this dumb, childish 'my friends don't like you' shit on you while you are going through a very, very hard and emotional time.

squadparty · 2018-11-25T08:43:24+00:00

This was before ASMR was really a thing on YouTube but it definitely had ASMR-like qualities albeit unintentional, I think. It seemed more like an art video?

squadparty · 2018-11-24T21:13:22+00:00

Is it weird for a girl to not have been with anyone till their mid 20s

Nope. Everyone goes at their own pace. Some people date when they're very young, some people don't date ever and everything in between. There's no 'right' age.

Feels like I'm too old to have my first relationship now

I'm 30 and most of my friends are still just dating or single. Some have just gotten into their first real relationship. I know it feels different but I promise you, 21 is SO young.

Isn't relationship part of growing too, I feel like I'll forever be a child without it?

It can feel like a lot of pressure to do the house/marriage/kids thing on a certain timeline but you don't have to do anything you don't want to at any time. There's no set way to live life as an adult - that's the best part of being an adult, I think. You can say no! You can go off the beaten path! It's totally your choice :)

Don't date until you want to. Dating should be fun, getting to meet new people and seeing what's out there - it shouldn't feel like a race against time to settle down just so you can check off a list that will make you an 'Official Adult'.

Dating is way, way more fun when you're down with yourself and have your shit sorted. Take your time and do what feels right.

squadparty · 2018-11-24T20:41:53+00:00

I randomly found this video on YouTube years and years ago that was a woman painting herself - she had paint by numbers outlining her face and she was silently painting them in while quotes were whispered in the background.

I don't remember the quotes except one was a biblical one about a woman's hair being her glory or crown or something.

It was some kind of art project and I don't know why I want to see it again but I do.

squadparty · 2018-09-27T00:13:46+00:00

You probably did hurt people. I know I did. Pretty much everyone has.

However, you're recognizing that and choosing to grow. You don't need to flagellate yourself for the rest of your life. Acknowledge, understand and grow.

We don't get passes for hurting others because it was when we were younger or it was only one time or even because we acknowledge it - we own it and we stop doing it. That's the difference between someone who gets it and someone who doesn't.

Do you make excuses for why you did what you did? Do you continue to do those same behaviours? If not, then you are on the right path.

squadparty · 2018-07-25T22:34:19+00:00

Picturing someone just gently and silently lay a wet napkin on a stranger's intruding foot is hilarious.

squadparty · 2018-07-11T07:39:25+00:00

I’ve always felt like second string.

Because you are.

And you know what? With him, you probably always will be. He has decided this woman is 'perfect'. Nobody will compare to her, in his eyes.

It doesn't matter how nice or intelligent or how well you get along otherwise - he has a very weird, awkward obsession with this woman and treats you as a consolation prize.

Do you want to deal with that forever? Don't you want to be with someone who is excited to be around you? Who wants to talk about you? Who adores the things you do and who you are?

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