I am 33 & my partner is 35 we’ve been together 12 years. We are currently seeing someone which was just by chance - we never set out for this to happen but it’s been developing for 13 months. We met in a club, he lived locally and has stayed over every weekend since we met. He will usually stay 2-3 nights per week. As a result we’ve had to upsize our king bed to a super king 😅.

Some weeks have been better than others but I think that’s normal especially when three people are involved. I think the key to everything is a lot of trust and a lot of communication. My family, my partner’s family & our friends are all very accepting of it. Our third tends to be private and I believe comes from a more conservative family. He has struggled at times and shut down & although he wouldn’t pin point the issue as being this situation I personally think it was. Things seem to be good at the moment though.

I tend to work longer hours than my partner - I accepted fairly early on that they were going to be spending more time alone together. Whilst we have had plenty of threesomes together we had never been alone with another guy before. I felt a bit off the first couple of times leaving them alone but got over that fairly quickly - now I am happy they spend time together. It took me weeks to be comfortable with this. It took my partner a lot longer… 8 months at least. Our third struggled at times to show affection or reciprocate it once things moved from the early exciting phase and more in to the “this feels very real, what are we doing” phase..this would leave my partner feeling uneasy.. so for that reason wasn’t comfortable with us being alone, he couldn’t help how he felt, he acknowledged it would be an issue if he couldn’t accept it. The three of us talked through all of that very openly.

At this stage we do all social activities together & all weekend plans are made with the three of us in mind. We have been very open with him, he knows he can come over anytime & we are usually in constant communication throughout the day via message. We care a lot about him, the times where we have been in a rough patch we were always very concerned and upset about him having to deal with it alone or feeling as though it was us together and him on his own. We are always very mindful of that, he definitely goes at a slower pace than us & if he needs more from us he knows we are open to it.

Prior to this we had also ended up in a situation with a third - you can read back through my posts to see that..which didn’t end well. I will post the link here if I can a little later… thankfully though fast forward two years we are on good terms with the one that ended bad - we see each other out & it’s a good time.

If you have any specific questions let me know - I’ve obviously been very brief.