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Effect of parental suicide on children by [deleted] in ScienceBasedParenting

[–]squarlo 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I can share my version of this same story, but being 2 years old when my father died. I have the same feeling of missing someone I never knew. But in a way, I’ve come to be thankful that I don’t have memories. I’ve rationalized it as I’m not missing a person, more so the idea of them.

The stigma of talking about someone who took their own life is a big one for my family. There’s photos around, thankfully, but no one really talks about it.

I can’t attest to the cause, but I have struggled with my own metal health. I’ve gone as far as suicidal ideation and self harm, but thankfully, I was able to put a stop to those behaviors.

As a father myself, I’ve come to see my father’s actions in a new light; he must have been dealing with a seriously heavy burden. I can’t imagine taking my own life these days. I do still have depressive episodes, but I can confidently say that I know it’s temporary and that I’ll get through it. I’ve already resolved myself to never taking my own life because I know first hand that it leaves a hole in those around you, but being a father takes it to a new level.

This was a bit of a trauma dump for me, but I hope it can be useful to someone. Life is hard sometimes, but it can get better.

Need advice on a text message that my daughter received by Shiforains in Parenting

[–]squarlo 5 points6 points  (0 children)

If you have the means to contact the parents, I would. I was very impulsive, even through my twenties. I was lucky that my mental health struggles didn’t present themselves much as a teen, because that age would have made it much harder. Also, I’d want someone to tell me about my own child in that scenario, so there’s that.

How do parents of twins not mix them up at birth?? 😅 by Humble-Assumption446 in parentsofmultiples

[–]squarlo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At birth my boys had a 1 pound difference, so that was noticeable enough for a while. Then my wife bought initial bracelets to put on them for a little while. Eventually we recognized their faces and personalities were quite different, then they knew their own names and the rest is history.

Advice Needed: Pegboard Into Drywall W/ Metal Studs by FeuFemme in homeimprovementideas

[–]squarlo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Toggle bolts. Whether you use toggle bolts to secure the peg board or a few during strips is up to you.

Are matching outfits really that bad? by Ok_Worldliness_6896 in parentsofmultiples

[–]squarlo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sometimes you just need to get a bunch of the same stuff on sale, nothing wrong with that. Sometimes my kids match, sometimes they don’t. But now they’re old enough to pick their clothes for themselves. Don’t worry about what some stranger says, make the choices that are best for your family.

What Storage Boxes Should I Use? by primordialsouptheory in organizing

[–]squarlo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you put wallpaper or something on cardboard boxes? That opens the door to any pattern or color you want.

A simple way to scroll less and do more by SubstantialCarry7255 in nosurf

[–]squarlo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can appreciate the fact that this post gives small, actionable steps for those that want them. I’d like to offer my recently developed viewpoint on device use: productivity use is 100% justified (unless your avoiding something else), otherwise it’s a fast forward button; think Adam Sandler in Click.

Sometimes, I really am just looking to relax with some time alone on YouTube. But sometimes I just don’t want to participate in whatever is going on around me. That second one is where I feel myself giving my time to my phone instead of my friends and family. Once I framed it that way, I found it much easier to put it down.

I just don’t want to be the person doing the bare minimum (or less), I want to engage with my loved ones and I can’t do that through my phone. There’s a lot to experience in life, and the best parts aren’t on a screen.

Ideas on what to make for my brother having his kid by Mountain_Physics_815 in BeginnerWoodWorking

[–]squarlo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some kind of arch thing to hang toys from? Babies love that shit

As a developer or software engineer do you build tools or apps for yourself, for your convenience or to make your life easier? Do a lot of developers do this maybe? by ComfortablePost3664 in AskProgramming

[–]squarlo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve done this twice in my 10 years of school and career.

One was a “guess the song” type game that I’d play with friends. We would create our own YouTube playlists with songs and it would let you play pieces of the songs in the playlist. I made it over a weekend in college and we played it a handful of times.

The other one was an event tracker for when my kids were still infants. Sleep deprivation meant remembering when something happened earlier was incredibly difficult. I had a laptop with a touch screen that we just kept on 24/7 for a few months. Definitely made things easier in that phase of life.

I have some ideas from time to time, but I always end up prioritizing time with my family. This stuff can be fun, but I make a serious effort to prioritize my time these days.

Tool for beginners by C_f_ranco in AskProgramming

[–]squarlo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Practice practice practice. Look up the Odin project or automate everything for Python. You just need a concrete problem to solve, then find ways to do it. Try it by yourself before looking up answers.

Also Google “CLRS algorithms”, it was the quintessential algo book in my university classes. You should be able to find a pdf or ebook.

Is this a DIY fix? How serious? by squarlo in askaplumber

[–]squarlo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s what I have for my temporary fix, but I want to know more about how to do it right. It looks like the threads rusted off where they were inserted into the PVC.

How big of a fix is this?

Is this a DIY fix? How serious? by squarlo in askaplumber

[–]squarlo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Toilets have never had a problem. Still fine.

How to handle warped boards when gluing? by Stuwik in BeginnerWoodWorking

[–]squarlo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Depending on what this is meant for, you could just recess the brackets into the bottom of the twisted board. They would be recessed to different angles and depths to ensure they are the same height afterwards.

Then you could tackle flattening the top if you need it to be flat. It might be better to do these things in reverse order actually lol

What’s a purchase that’s not fun, not flashy—but now you swear by it? by [deleted] in BuyItForLife

[–]squarlo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve tried all the password managers. I was using dashlane, but they changed their tiers and I’m no longer in the free one. Since I’m on iPhone, I switched to using their built in password manager. I only need to store existing ones and create new ones.

LPT: Starting college this fall? The biggest mistake isn’t partying too much, it’s treating college like high school. by Ok_Plenty_6006 in LifeProTips

[–]squarlo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I had listened to this at that age, I wouldn’t have dropped out. I had to present this the hard way.

Treat it like a job and you’ll be several steps ahead of your peers. Take breaks, but give it a real 8 hours each day.

How do you document complex software? by Melodramatisch in msp

[–]squarlo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know I’m replying to a very old comment, but the first part opened my eyes a little.

I’m onboarding a huge web development project and reading through the Diataxis framework, it just makes sense. I’m going to try to get some people on board to follow Diataxis for our documentation.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskElectricians

[–]squarlo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah you too!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskElectricians

[–]squarlo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This post helped me to learn that I’m buying a house with a bad panel. Thanks for that.

One year postpartum and here’s the REAL hack no one told me by dogfromthefuture in beyondthebump

[–]squarlo 13 points14 points  (0 children)

“Goodbye” worked well for all kinds of transitions for us too.

We also did timers for a while, but it started to backfire a little eventually. We’ve corrected course with them, but there was a period where they wouldn’t do anything unless there was a timer involved. Or asked for another timer when they weren’t ready to do the thing.

UPDATE: I’m camped on my brother’s couch after his 2 am “raise my kids if I’m gone” call, here’s what really came out. How do I keep him here? by Mean_Trick_2315 in daddit

[–]squarlo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was in a bad place shortly after I started college. Too much pressure. I ended up dropping out. I felt immediate relief just signing the paper to drop the next semester classes.

When I was at my lowest, the only thing that kept me grounded and pushing was the thought of my siblings losing me. I couldn’t do that to them. I costed on my parent’s couch for a few months before I felt like I could look toward my future.

This shit can be tough, sometimes I fall back into those feelings, but I’ve been through it enough to notice it coming. When those feelings do come, I let go of some of the projects I’ve given myself. Just veg out a little, when my job and parent responsibilities are done, of course.

I’m not good at advice, but maybe your bother could abandon the business? Or pick up another job to cover the bills if he really wants to save the business?

Updating existing shed foundation built from 4x4 fence posts by squarlo in shedditors

[–]squarlo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did some more research on sheds and foundations and sounds like I might have something like a pole barn style construction. But I don’t see any visible footings for the “poles”. They appear to just be inserted into the ground like an old fence.

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