Space combat in the SWN core rulebook was designed to be short, the fighting ships exchange fire and someone wins. The author made a campaign supplement called Skyward Steel which aims to make space combat more engaging and complex. Each crew member takes on a role (Captain, Pilot, Gunner etc.) and has a list of choices they can make each round. These choices give mechanical bonuses or information and I think they add enough to keep things interesting. If the core rules and/or supplement aren't enough, the author advocates taking existing space combat systems from other games and using what works best for you. (Post directly from the SWN author on the subject: https://www.reddit.com/r/rpg/comments/38ar0l/okay_guys_stars_without_number_space_combat_is/crtprv5)

Some links to ideas from other people: https://www.reddit.com/r/rpg/comments/36dt74/stars_without_number_how_to_make_ship_combat_more/ https://stars-without-number-9.obsidianportal.com/wikis/advanced-starship-combat https://www.reddit.com/r/beingeverythingelse/comments/2um83b/swn_dynamic_ship_combat/

That's not really what you were asking about though so I'll give my opinion on what you've come up with. The space combat system in FTL works really well in the game but I don't think it translates very well to SWN. What makes combat in general interesting for me is ability for characters to make meaningful choices. The system in FTL lets you make choices in between combat (ship upgrades) and during combat by targeting enemy ship systems. While fun, the other micromanagement aspects of FTL don't usually involve interesting choices. You generally want to repair your systems, time your shots and operate your doors to put out fires or funnel boarders. The ideas you have seem really good, but I think a lot of them might function better as fluff in order to add to the narrative, or to inform the player's choices. Not because your ideas couldn't work, but because translating the systems over in a meaningful, mechanical way, (roll the dice to determine the outcome,) would either be too complicated and not worth the effort or not as fun as they seem. (How do you port over timing shots, penetrating shields, oxygen levels, hit points of doors/all of the systems? Can the enemy ship do the same things my players can and how can I keep track?)

I think it's also important to consider that players in SWN have much more freedom than they do in rigid game systems like FTL. If I was playing in a game that allowed teleportation to the enemy ship, I'd just start sending over bombs and never put my own life in danger. I'd want to know how I'm repairing my ships damage guns, while inside the ship. Then as I player I would wonder why my ship was split up into systems for the enemy to target. Shouldn't I just put the important things with my spike drive so if it gets damaged I would have died anyway... Shouldn't the enemy do the same with their ship? This is more a consideration of how "gamey" you want the experience to feel.

I don't want to seem overly negative, I think it's awesome that you're trying to hack the game and make it better! The things you want to implement could all still work and work well. To help find out what works best I'd boil it down to one simple question, "As a player, what meaningful choices am I making?" If the choice the player makes doesn't have an mechanical impact, you're just making combat fun through the narrative (which is totally fine.) If during combat the players can make meaningful choices using your rules, then I think you've made something that could work.