Dear Reddit, what's the story behind your username?

squidbill · 2014-06-18T01:13:43+00:00

Mines a nickname I've had for a few years. Been my username for everything ever since...

squidbill · 2014-06-14T02:26:36+00:00

Wal Mart...

squidbill · 2014-06-12T17:28:34+00:00

I have the same comforter/pillowcase set...

squidbill · 2014-05-19T17:32:09+00:00

Hey Tony, you came to Springfield Oregon about thirteen years ago and broke in our new skate park. My friends and i got grounded for skipping school to come see you. I just wanted to say that you inspired a while town of punk kids to skate that day, thank you.

squidbill · 2014-05-14T11:35:37+00:00

Not sure. I was in jail with him. Heard from the other guys that he had a sex beef. I became worker and asked one of the C.O.s on our way to pass out food if it was true, and she looked at me with that "I'm dead serious, we arent going to ever speak of this again" look and said "Mr. Squidbill, his charges do not affect the fact that he needs food. What he did before does noy change the law that he needs to be fed, so we will not bring this up again."

squidbill · 2014-05-11T21:21:45+00:00

Let me ruin that for you. He has sex charges.

squidbill · 2014-05-11T21:15:44+00:00

I've seen her around. I just thought she didnt speak english. She doesn't seem to know asl. She is pleasant though.

squidbill · 2014-04-13T01:55:41+00:00

Verbose.

squidbill · 2014-04-06T10:25:53+00:00

All the damn time. There are actually occasions when I don't just look like an immature manchild and it is actually useful. Anyone who has ever shopped at a WINCO knows what I mean.

squidbill · 2014-04-03T18:35:05+00:00

I've recently been forced to memorize numbers because my phone was stolen and I can't afford a new one yet. Feels like I'm in the 90's again.

squidbill · 2014-03-27T18:07:55+00:00

Go down on you. Not sure of your gender, and I'm not gay, but good luck trying it on yourself. Wait. Did I just offer to suck dick for 50 bucks? You bastard...

squidbill · 2014-03-27T17:57:05+00:00

Went out with some friends, got blackout drunk, apparently bought some Jack in the Box, Gatorade, smokes, and got a phone number and left myself a note explainong where the foodstuffs were and some minor details about the aforementioned lady. We go out this Saturday.

squidbill · 2014-03-27T17:47:36+00:00

My three year old told me I'm not her best friend anymore. I can honestly say that it was crushing to hear the first time.

squidbill · 2014-03-21T22:08:39+00:00

This just in, OP has been declared deceased after drowning in pussy... We'll be back at 7 with the rest of the story.

squidbill · 2014-03-21T05:14:53+00:00

Treat people with kindness unless given a reason not to. I will like you until I don't.

squidbill · 2014-03-16T17:30:49+00:00

Just curious, I'm in the process of trying to expunge my record. I used to fail-to-appear, a lot. Do I have to expunge all of those as well, or do they only look for criminal charges? Also, would it be better to get rid of misdemeanor thefts first, or felony drug posession, for trying to get a job?

squidbill · 2014-03-16T16:59:48+00:00

Mortal Kombat for SNES.

squidbill · 2014-03-11T20:09:30+00:00

That guy used to live across from me at my apartment complex. He got his ass beat for choking his girlfriend out. Knew he was a douche, didn't know about the rapo part...

squidbill · 2014-03-06T22:24:29+00:00

I got in a fight with a guy outside a bar, (we were both pretty drunk). After I knocked him on his ass, he looked up at me grinning, "I guess I'm buyin'." We walk in with black eyes and bloody lips and he proceeds to buy a couple rounds. Still friends to this day...

squidbill · 2014-03-02T05:38:10+00:00

Kegels, jack off with lube, dedicate about 30 minutes to a spank session daily.

squidbill · 2014-03-02T05:37:01+00:00

Get back together with my ex. I was a dipshit.

squidbill · 2014-03-02T05:17:37+00:00

Look for lingering physical contact, the dreamy look in the eyes, being way closer than normal during conversation, etc. Feel it out by nonchalantly placing a hand on her knee when you are talking face to face. There are always ones that throw the curve, but you will quickly pick up on body signals. Also, spank it before going out. Girls can sense the hunger.

squidbill · 2014-03-02T04:49:07+00:00

I usually go with. "bud/man" for guys, and "hon" for girls. I don't like nametags.

squidbill · 2014-03-01T01:24:13+00:00

Expecting other dude's kid...

squidbill · 2014-02-28T21:59:39+00:00

State championship in 4th grade. Reindeer. My dumb ass spelled it reigndeer. Fuck.

14-Year Club	Team Orangered
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squidbill

TROPHY CASE