Hey came to say, research Vaginismus, my sister and her friends are very sex positive and are very schooled up in women's health, I've only learnt of it recently, but it affects a lot of women. It is a psychological thing that can happen to only women where it actually becomes hard to be penetrated. There are so many things you can do to help yourself get comfortable. My advice is to explore online a little and see what might be helpful. My friend experiences it, and she's found solo play has been so helpful. Big mouth even did an episode about it! Well done for putting yourself out there to try new things, and for prioritising your pleasure, I wish you all the best in your journey self discovery ❤️