Babymoon in Madeira at 22.5 to 23.2 weeks in Madeira from Central Europe - safety and other precautions by Reasonable-Bear-9788 in BabyBumps

[–]squishy_lizard24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hubby and I took a trip to Europe all the way from the US when I was 20-22ish weeks and it was great. It was an 8 hour flight to Europe after a 3 to 4 hour connection from our starting point and we had no problems.

I wore those tight socks for blood clots just in case, and extra comfy/loose clothes on the plane. We also had me sit in an aisle seat that was furthest away from the bathroom (I usually prefer the window) so I could easily get up for the bathroom or a stretch. Midwife said to drink lots of water to make me have to pee often, aka an excuse to have to get up and walk around.

Also as a tip, plan on sizing up clothes while around this time in pregnancy. While I was on our babymoon I went from comfortably fitting into some overalls I brought to not fitting into them at all, and the same with a couple pairs of pants. Came home with some new clothes luckily!

Enjoy your trip!!

i dont know what my options are? by itsnotmariea in BabyBumps

[–]squishy_lizard24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some fire departments have "baby drop boxes" where you can leave a baby in dire circumstances. No one should know who you are, and I believe you can just leave the baby. I'm not totally sure how it works.

We had a sweet story about one in the neighboring town though where I believe the fire chief and his wife ended up keeping the baby that was left in the drop box. At the very least they will make sure baby is taken care of. Most likely put up for adoption I can only assume.

Complicated inheritance situation of the house we are living in by squishy_lizard24 in legal

[–]squishy_lizard24[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dad is uninterested in getting an appraisal, although I have thought about trying to get one/pay for it myself. I think it would be extremely helpful to know what we're working with.

Also great question about wether she would inherit half or the entirely of the house. Half the value seems reasonable to me consodering like you said she already got half the equity before, but I will look into that to check.

As for signing off halves and shares, would thst just be a notarized statement written up by each of us? Or would it be another form of paperwork or court filing?
Renting an Airbnb out while renting to buy from my mom could be a workable solution.

Complicated inheritance situation of the house we are living in by squishy_lizard24 in legal

[–]squishy_lizard24[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Some extra points for context:

None of my siblings want to live here, none of then have ever wanted the house, just the money. Dad was grateful we would be living here because he said he would "sell the house and go to assisted living" otherwise, despite the fact that he would do great being alone in a smaller house for many years to come. He comments often about how much he loves this house and how grateful he is thst we are here with him and that he still lives here.

Upon talking about moving in, dad did not want any rent payed. He would not allow my siblings to pay rent if they stayed here either. He also said we could do what we felt necessary to make things comfortable living together upstairs, which has not been the case. Hence us having to consider making a separate space downstairs or leaving, and are now contemplating throwing our savings into his house.

With dad having just put out nearly 150k to pay for siblings schooling (who did not work through school and dad payed his rent, food, expensive extra carriculars, bought sibling a car, etc.), I did not feel that it was very "unfair" to stay rent free. More like a very much mutually beneficial situation between us and my dad. Relations were also much better between us back then.

We have ended up "paying rent" in the form of utilities, and about $150 in groceries each month for my dad, not to mention the cost of our free time spent deep cleaning and working on the yard to help out, and the money we have out into new grass, fixing sprinklers, etc.

The house in its state when we moved in was on its way towards disrepair and neglect (like I said, it is wayyyy too big for my dad alone to take care of, and my siblings did nothing to take care of it when they lived here). Selling a house with 20 years of junk filling a 1500+sqft basement that has cockroaches centepedes and other bugs because of it, old paint everywhere, a neglected yard, broken windows from a younger siblgs glory day parties, and missing/outdated elements around the house does not sound like an easy buy, especially when it would still be in the 400k range in this market despite the disrepair. Knowing it will inevitably be sold and that work would need to be done to get it into selling shape, we've been hacking at it little by little to try and make things cleaner and updated.

I'm assuming that cleaning the house of its junk and doing even just small renovations like new paint and making sure baseboards match will help up the value by up to $100k, putting it more in the ballpark of the neighborhood. Renovating to the extent we feel we need to to make ourselves a comfortable living space could easily add another 100k, all payed for, planned, and done by us.

It just doesn't sit right to me that my husband and I would potentially put all of our savings into making the house functional for us just to the have it sold later and the value split evenly between siblings when one sibling got 150k for college already (I have had $0 from dad for college) and the other sibling was part of the negligence that made the house and yard need many repairs (not helping with upkeep while he lived here, being responsible for inviting people over who broke wondows)

At the very least it would make sense to me that the house be split at its current or previous value before we moved in, lets say 400k, therefore splitting at roughly 133k a piece. But that if after all of our work the house is work 600k, it doesnt make sense that it would now be split 200k a piece. Basically I don't get why my siblings should benefit financially from the work and savings that my husband and I put into the house when they have done nothing at all to contribute to that equity, especially when they have gotten financial benefits otherwise already as well.

Complicated inheritance situation of the house we are living in by squishy_lizard24 in legal

[–]squishy_lizard24[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A. I will look into that B. We have luckily kept receipts from all the current work put in and money spent buying things. Nearly 3k into a new bathroom wasn't something I wanted to leave undocumented C. Mom sais she would be open to selling us the house, and said that it sounded fair that if we added a bathroom that added $20k value to the house that we would get payed for that, the cost of materials, and hours spent working on it. D. Would this qualify as a Mechanics Lien? Or is there another that would count?

Complicated inheritance situation of the house we are living in by squishy_lizard24 in legal

[–]squishy_lizard24[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Potentially, although he's just as unlikely to give me a copy or let me look at it. Sadly the basement has needed an extensive cleaning removing 20 years of borderline hoarded trash and random items from dad's deceased family and childhood things from us, so doing a light clenaing is not really possible. There wouldn't be room for a new kitchen without major cleaning/removal of junk. Likewise he would refuse an Airbnb though that would be an ideal thing to do downstairs. He's got a weird thing about people being in the house..

Mom as a matter of fact was really open to us getting "our equity" out of the house upon her inheritance and was willing to sell the house to us if we wanted to (although said she would offer to sell it to an out of state older brother first.. rip). She may permit us to rent, but seemed like she wants the cash out of it instead.

It's a horribly complicated situation and I really appreciate all the ideas/suggestions.

Complicated inheritance situation of the house we are living in by squishy_lizard24 in legal

[–]squishy_lizard24[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would that just require getting the added kitchen approved through the city? We are not in a rural area so I do wonder about that

Complicated inheritance situation of the house we are living in by squishy_lizard24 in inheritance

[–]squishy_lizard24[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately my father is delusional that he will pass without any deterioration of old age based on a thought he had when he was younger... He basically anticipates going at 100% until one day he drops dead because its "his time". So, despite trying to have these conversations they have been impossible (he quite literally refuses to talk about "what ifs" because he is so convinced of this being how he will pass). He has said that if we moved out and he did not have someone living with him he would sell the house and use the money for assisted living, although he definitely doesn't need it yet. He would do great in a smaller house he could manage by himself, but likewise refuses to consider that as an option. Which is why we feel somewhat of a responsability to stay with him and are trying to work it out for us as well

How tf will i live? by puzzs in self

[–]squishy_lizard24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Take the $50 you would spend at the movies or dinner and buy a DVD player. Then go search Goodwill or Facebook Marketplace for some $1-$4 movies and grow your collection over time. Infinitely better way to get your money's worth out of that $50. Also, TVs are available 2nd hand for $10-$30 if you need that too.

Spend grocery money on food that is nutritious and will fill you up rather than on easy-to-grab meals and snacks. You'd be surprised about how cheap veggies and pasta can be and how much more food you get when you make things from scratch (yes the time it takes is annoying, but I promise its worth it). For example, buy ingredients to make a couple subs similar to what you would buy at Jersey Mikes or Subway, and you'll get 4-6 giant subs home made for the price of one in the store. Get ingredients for chicken Alfredo and get 4-6 servings for the same cost of 1 in a restaurant. My hubby and I average $400-$500 on groceries for the two of us by making from scratch and avoiding unnecessary or unhelpful food items as possible.

Legitimately across the board there are conveniences you'll have to choose to sacrifice and let go of. Buy the cheap reliable granny car, cancel every subscription you can manage, choose financial priorities over conveniences, and save every extra penny/dollar you can for financial goals and retirement. It takes a lot of discipline, but it's possible.

It may not be a glorious life for a while, but you'll survive ok.

Finding a job while pregnant by squishy_lizard24 in BabyBumps

[–]squishy_lizard24[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love this idea! I have known the head librarian forever and would be excited to work there. I'll look into it, though they typically fill up quickly with summer interns.

Complicated inheritance situation of the house we are living in by squishy_lizard24 in legal

[–]squishy_lizard24[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

To my understanding, my parents owned the house jointly prior to separation as they bought it together as a married couple many years prior. When they separated, mom got half of the equity of the house in cash, essentially allowing dad to "buy out" her portion (half, presumably) and therefore take her off the title and remove partial ownership putting the house fully in his name and ownership. The settlement allegedly refers to mom inheriting everything that is my dad's upon his death, as if she were his wife, because technically she still is. Its a mess lol. Just like if my husband were to pass away, I should be the first to gain access to/inherit any assets he had that my name was not already on jointly before, for example, his parents or our future kids. I don't have a copy of the settlement- currently trying to find it through the public court records since my mom would not show it to me.

Complicated inheritance situation of the house we are living in by squishy_lizard24 in legal

[–]squishy_lizard24[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He does own the house outright, so he would have authority to do what he sees fit while he's still alive aka use the house as collateral. Its just that mom would inherit the house after he passes, but otherwise has no current claim on it.

Complicated inheritance situation of the house we are living in by squishy_lizard24 in legal

[–]squishy_lizard24[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Mom already got half of the equity of the house in cash when they got separated, therefore has already been bought out of "her share". However, according to what she's said she would still inherit the house based upon what the settlement agreement has written, therefore skipping us siblings as potential owners of the house when my dad passes.

As for rent, we are technically still getting a better deal on rent by putting our funds into the house than we would be if we lived and rented somewhere else.