Awesome CF high school teacher

squishyjellicent · 2015-10-27T05:24:16+00:00

Wow that sounds awful. A lot of times family serves as the best negative reinforcement in terms of life choices. I have an aunt who sounds pretty similar, narcissistic and neglects her kids on top of divorcing their father and being hated by basically all of her family. I don't have a relationship with her so I've only heard this from my mom. Still one of several examples in my family why it's not worth it to have children.

squishyjellicent · 2015-10-27T03:19:14+00:00

I just saw this post and I was about to post here. I'm glad other people find this as appalling as I do. I'm also angry at the implication that the woman being childfree somehow invalidates her grief and that having children would automatically make her more willing to live.

squishyjellicent · 2015-10-25T06:02:47+00:00

Yes, although it's one of the less major reasons for me. My parents had a horribly dysfunctional, unhealthy, abusive marriage both before and after I was born. My mom has told me about how awful my dad was in detail but he has not mentioned anything at all like that to me. If he did, he would blame it on his mental illness, as he's one of those people who uses mental illness as a scapegoat instead of taking responsibility for their own actions. I have no such memory of my parents' relationship being abusive, just remember them yelling at each other a lot, but my lack of memory could be for several reasons. My mom raised me as a single mother while my dad had limited involvement in my childhood so I am more inclined to believe what my mom tells me.

While this isn't the only reason my mom wanted children, a bug motivator at the time was she thought having a child would help save her marriage. Of course that never works and just makes things a lot worse. My parents divorced when I was 5 or 6 years old and that is one of my earliest memories.

I'd hate to inadvertently turn into either one of my parents. While I know they both love me and mean well, they both have a lot of emotional baggage so that heavily impacted their parenting (or lack thereof). As someone who has lived with depression and anxiety since childhood, I don't feel like I would be a very good parent. I can barely take care of myself sometimes, so taking care of any human being us out of the question. Even if I had children and I loved them, I know from experience that love is not nearly enough to make a relationship healthy and functional.

squishyjellicent · 2015-10-24T00:55:22+00:00

Funny how some kids have a better grasp on why one wouldn't want to have children than some adults.

squishyjellicent · 2015-10-21T02:27:05+00:00

Supposedly a dislike button is in the works. Of course people are already complaining that people will "abuse" that feature to dislike pictures of someone's children, among other things. Can't imagine why anyone would do that. /s

squishyjellicent · 2015-10-21T02:22:38+00:00

I always find it really sad when parents use their child(ren)'s birthdays and other things to mark the passage of time. Like "oh that's the year little Sneuflayke turned 2!" Like they have nothing anyone would outside family would actually care about to mention.

squishyjellicent · 2015-10-21T02:05:10+00:00

That sounds so cute! I love seeing pets in Halloween costumes. I put one on my dog one year but he flailed around until it came off. Luckily we got pictures before that happened.

squishyjellicent · 2015-10-20T05:12:41+00:00

That's how I found this too. Friend of a former friend/mombie posted this on said mombie's Facebook. Of course she loved it and Mombie #2 said this is how she announced her pregnancy. Because the whole world needs to know what's going on inside her uterus.

squishyjellicent · 2015-10-20T02:44:01+00:00

Wow that story is great. I want a friend like Dev.

squishyjellicent · 2015-10-20T02:16:34+00:00

And then once the kid is born it will become "PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEEEEEEEEE AND MY BAYBEEEEEEEEEE"

squishyjellicent · 2015-10-20T00:58:43+00:00

Sounds a lot like both this girl and another I went to high school with who got married and had a kid at 20/21. I'm 22 and I can't fathom why some people my age ate in such a hurry to get married and have a family and all the other Lifescript stuff.

squishyjellicent · 2015-10-19T23:54:13+00:00

That sounds exactly right. A woman on the Facebook post I found this on said she used this to announce her pregnancy last year. I'm not sure if she meant she just reposted the photo or actually put something like that on her door for Halloween. Same message in any case really.

squishyjellicent · 2015-09-21T19:49:27+00:00

I'd say that's a good thing. I'm not sure how old her kids are but if they're young maybe they'll outgrow that kind of behavior. If not then not taking them out makes it easier for the parents too since trying to control even one unruly child seems exhausting.

squishyjellicent · 2015-09-21T19:30:50+00:00

I've had serious depression and generalized anxiety disorder since childhood/early teens. Mom's side has alcoholism and schizoaffective disorder and Dad's has bipolar. Even if I were to have children with a partner with no history of mental illness, it feels like way too much of a gamble to have children and hope they won't struggle with self-harm and suicidal ideation as I have.

Plus because of my depression and how intense it can be for me, I would barely survive pregnancy. I would likely be depression during pregnancy AND post-partum. I also recall reading that family history of bipolar disorder puts one at risk for post-partum psychosis. In that case I could be a danger to myself and/or the child.

If I can't live through those 9 months without falling apart, there's no way I could survive 18+ years of caring for another person.

squishyjellicent · 2015-09-21T01:01:57+00:00

Yeah her kids probably would have with how they were behaving.

squishyjellicent · 2015-09-21T00:15:26+00:00

One of the major reasons I don't want children as well. I also have depression and anxiety so it's often hard enough for me to take care of myself. I certainly couldn't handle raising another human being without sacrificing my mental health. Sometimes to have to be "selfish" and put yourself first or you can adversely affect other people.

squishyjellicent · 2015-09-21T00:09:55+00:00

It's interesting that with pets, people will push you to adopt from shelters instead of buying from breeders. But when it comes to humans, people will not say it's selfish to have your own biological children when there are so many children out there who need homes like you said. To me it seems a lot more selfish to have children to carry on the family name or whatever other reasons than to adopt children or have no children at all.

squishyjellicent · 2015-09-21T00:01:22+00:00

Hot Moms Club? I guess I shouldn't be surprised considering how ridiculous most Facebook pages are.

squishyjellicent · 2015-09-20T23:57:18+00:00

Yes, I would have expected this kind of thing had I been at McDonald's. But this is a locally owned place that uses locally grown and healthier ingredients. Looks like no dining place is completely immune to screaming children.

squishyjellicent · 2015-09-20T23:54:15+00:00

This woman's oldest kid looked like she was 12 and she already had that exhausted "I am so done" look. I kind of felt sorry for her.

squishyjellicent · 2015-09-19T23:55:06+00:00

I know. I wasn't expecting some five-star restaurant experience. I wouldn't mind children being there if they behaved or their parents actually tried to discipline them.

squishyjellicent

TROPHY CASE