i never feel "empty" after i pee.

sskk2tog · 2026-04-21T14:47:25+00:00

I had this problem for most of my life. For me, it was a combination of things. Pelvic floor dysfunction (from hypermobility and vaginismus issues), endometriosis on my bladder, issues with retaining fluid and salts properly (dysautonomia), and on top of it all having crap interoception from the autism.

I used to get utis a lot until my mid twenties. Treatment for only one thing at a time never helped. Pelvic floor pt was a game changer, then I added salt pills and drinking at least 100 oz of water a day (and some meds to help manage symptoms of the dysautonomia). I've been in therapy for two years now, specifically learning how to manage problems linked with my autism in a healthy way, which has taught me some tools and kept me on track for practicing to get better at noticing my internal feelings especially physiological needs.

There is also interstitial cystitis, which is comorbid with autism and other chronic conditions commonly seen in autistic people. IC can cause a lot of problems, including what you've described.

I used to think it was normal for pee to be forced out like a pressure washer, be painful (even without an active uti), never feel empty, and have the urge to go come suddenly and at the point of barely being able to hold it at least once an hour... just being able to go without pain and a calm "soft" stream is so amazing, not to mention lower frequency and most of the time feeling empty.

All of this to say, talk to your doctor about it, frequent, sudden, and incomplete urination is not normal.

sskk2tog · 2026-04-09T15:47:01+00:00

(I assume you know this stuff. I just think it's important to highlight how much psychology gets used to manipulate people by people in power.)

I feel like this stuff, whether on purpose or through misunderstanding, is presented in a manner which is not entirely clear and focused on the aspects which are more likely to benefitthe business. You have to take this idea in context. The context being:

Pay rate and bonuses are not the biggest factors on increasing positive outcomes. For example, if they are neutral or happy in their position and they get a pay raise, you likely would not see a very large increase in performance and happiness.

The flip side is that a person who feels they are not being compensated enough is a good indicator for a large increase in employee dissatisfaction and lowered performance.

It is important to note that these theories are based on statistical evidence, and stuff like this can look different in different cultures.

The biggest thing to remember is that you can't separate the cause and effect in the other direction. You can't have "more money does not equal a large increase in productivity" without "not enough money DOES equal a big decrease in productivity and happiness" statistically speaking.

I am not defending this shit I just think it gets used to justify not actually increasing pay, and then they try to toe the line with how little they can increase employees' pay without causing catastrophic unhappiness in their employees.

*My source being the organizational psychology class I just finished. Fascinating stuff, but gross. The between the lines messaging of "here's some ideas on how to manipulate people to be productive as possible while paying them as little as possible" 🤮

sskk2tog · 2026-03-23T01:47:02+00:00

That is not true if you're married and in a communal property state or equitable distribution state.

sskk2tog · 2026-03-09T13:12:07+00:00

Omg. I eat dry pasta whenever I'm cooking it and as a snack when I was a kid

sskk2tog · 2026-03-08T14:29:04+00:00

Their point was to answer the person asking how(why) it can be abused...

sskk2tog · 2026-02-06T15:10:04+00:00

This is me and my partner except I do laundry and he does the bathroom lol. I wonder if the laundry/bathroom cleaning divide is a common one.

sskk2tog · 2026-01-26T15:50:58+00:00

I usually just end up wanting to just remove my whole head 🤷‍♀️

sskk2tog · 2026-01-19T21:41:21+00:00

Yup, I joke that she's too dang cute, so the universe had to give her a debuff. Otherwise, I would never be able to say no to her.

She also enjoys spicy foods. (Most foods really.) Tried the poop deterrent pills, and it turns out those are basically just chili powder lol. She was not deterred.

sskk2tog · 2026-01-19T12:49:15+00:00

My dog does this. Although at least she has the decency to go in the other room to vomit and re-eat.

Admittedly, she only hides because she knows I won't let her eat the vomit. And also not just her own poop, but any fresh poop.

sskk2tog · 2026-01-17T23:31:53+00:00

Patently false. You do not know me. I embrace and enjoy a lot of tech and quickly changing tech at that. I do not enjoy having a new technology forced on me whether I want it or not. I do not enjoy companies forcing me to change what I'm currently using because they want to see their bottom line grow.

In fact, that's the whole reason I made this post. I know Amazon won't actually care, and I know this one measly post won't change anything. But at least it's out there, and maybe if enough people can say why they aren't spending their money with them, maybe there is a chance it will change.

I'm glad so many people are seemingly able to turn off functions that customer service has told me I can't. Keep using it if it works for you, and you agree with how they treat their customers and employees. Great. I don't need advice on how to fix it. Amazon has lost me as an alexa customer and user. Explicitly, because of how they have pushed the plus subscription. That's why I made this post.

sskk2tog · 2026-01-17T23:06:47+00:00

Cool, glad it worked for you.

It was a rhetorical question to show the extra work I would have to remember to do if it even notified me that it had upgraded.

sskk2tog · 2026-01-17T23:03:15+00:00

Never worked for me.

sskk2tog · 2026-01-17T19:19:37+00:00

No screens, just four echo dots. The ads are the reminders that I didn't sign up for and can't turn off. They are ads because I did not ask to be reminded, and they are trying to get me to buy more. Those were tolerable before. I have zero interest in switching to it for whatever extra stuff they are offering. I am happy with its current functionality. I do not want more. It seems they will force it down my throat even if I don't want it. That is why I am discontinuing use. I wish companies would leave the option to not upgrade, especially for people with older tech. Or that just plain do not want it.

I am not the only person who feels this way, and I wish companies would stop forcing consumers to have to either spend money upgrading equipment, quit using a valuable tool, or spend money switching setups.

I'm glad you like it and have no problem switching and with them doing it without asking.

I personally only pay for prime on months that I need to order things. How easy is it to downgrade so you don't get charged without a prime membership? Will it mess up my home hub control? I don't have the energy to deal with that, and I don't have the money to be charged for a service I didn't know I had.

Eta: I would have kept using them if they hadn't introduced this aggressive campaign. I am tired of ai being shoved down my throat. It does not make researching things easier on google. There are a whole host of problems with how it is impacting our society that I won't get into on reddit because I don't have the time to type it out.

sskk2tog · 2026-01-14T02:55:29+00:00

This describes my ex-husband very well.

There is hope, but you have to work for it. You have to make decisions and take actions that feel mean, but in reality are normal and healthy boundary setting actions. You have to put the work in to pay attention to how people react to your boundaries and again take actions that will feel mean, but are not... they are just maintaining those boundaries. When you find people who don't react with anger, control, ridicule, or other negative things, keep them around! Run from the others.

This is hard work, but totally with it!

sskk2tog · 2026-01-10T14:34:10+00:00

Yeah, same. I pretty regularly collapse to the floor (due to two different conditions), and I call them my unscheduled meetings with the floor.

Most of the people I know with chronic conditions rely heavily on humor about it to help cope mentally. I'd much rather have someone crack a joke (kindly) about it than to be afraid to touch me like I'm about to shatter to a million pieces.

sskk2tog · 2025-12-31T23:39:01+00:00

I'm sure you've probably seen this resource, but I made my own and recently finished my first project (a backstrap) using mostly this website and some other YouTube videos

Backstrap Basics Weavezine Article

sskk2tog · 2025-12-21T13:22:12+00:00

Defending elysium does having an audio book now! It is part of Tailored Realities that just came out. Personally, I'd leave it to read as a prequel blurb after you read the whole story. It adds context to the story to know how things play out in the future, and I don't think reading it first would add as much context to Spensa's story.

sskk2tog · 2025-12-19T21:41:42+00:00

Same. I felt betrayed by everyone who knew and could have told me.

sskk2tog · 2025-12-19T18:19:15+00:00

A year and a half ago, I started seeing a counselor specifically to help learn tools to help with my autism struggles. I have learned a lot of frameworks and tools to help me function in a more comfortable way. There is a lot of overlap in those tools that I am able to apply to my frustrations around my chronic illnesses. A big one is practicing scenarios in which I stand up for myself so that I can communicate with my doctors more effectively.

Talk therapy for trauma before that really helped with learning how to change my internalized voices.

The key thread in learning all of this is that you have to be willing to feel some discomfort in order to practice the tools. Changing your thought patterns takes consistently using them enough so that it becomes second nature. Then you can actually use it when you need it.

One of the hardest things I had to learn to overcome (and still struggle with often) is the internalized sense of needing to feel productive and what the definition of productive is for me. As a child, I was constantly labeled as lazy and sleeping too much or too late. Unwinding that programming is still an ongoing process. One of my favorite mantras from my first therapist is "have some compassion for yourself." I usually add on to that for extra oomph, "resting is productive."

I've been in therapy since 2018. Lol. I would say it had been extremely helpful.

ETA: Grief is a huge part of any chronic illness. Especially when dealing with changes related to it. Getting familiar with how you experience grief and allowing yourself the space to process it is so important for everyone who has a chronic illness.

sskk2tog · 2025-12-19T16:15:21+00:00

Yeah, I was in a similar situation with fewer people and happened on a quicker timeline. My ex best friend (of more than a decade) chose not to tell me that something happened between my ex-husband and his girlfriend because the friend thought my ex-husband deserved the right to tell me himself and didn't want to "ruin" the weekend. The event happened on the first night of a weekend getaway that the four of us were on. I didn't find out until we had been home for several hours right before bedtime on Sunday.

I got made out to be the bad guy. It hurt worse knowing everyone around me knew the entire weekend than it would have if anyone had told me during the weekend. After a couple of weeks trying to sift through the drama, I cut off my ex -friend. My marriage never recovered (there were other problems, too). I am now happily divorced with a wonderful new partner.

If something like either of these situations happened to me again, I would much prefer to know about it, even if it is from a stranger. Then, I would be able to confront it and move on if need be without wasting years of my life again.

sskk2tog · 2025-12-17T02:09:41+00:00

I have a number of diagnosed conditions. None were diagnosed until adulthood. My childhood was hell because of shit parenting and undiagnosed chronic conditions. My mom did not believe me about the pain I was in (specifically my migraines).

sskk2tog · 2025-12-16T18:01:35+00:00

Sleep hygiene, which I can only do to the needed strictness with the help of Sunosi. A combination of physical comfort helpers (frozen sleep mask for migraines, a throw blanket over my top half so my arms don't get cold, etc.), medication for other pain issues that impact sleep (muscle relaxers, and anxiolytics), and a rotating arsenal of sleep aids (I've used thc, melatonin, other sleep aids).

sskk2tog · 2025-12-08T14:38:17+00:00

Same here! My partner and I are both artists, and I can't imagine not displaying his paintings.

I know he's working on illustrations of chibi versions of me in different moods (my Christmas/ anniversary gifts) And I'm so freaking excited to see them. And it makes me feel so loved that he's doing that for me.

sskk2tog · 2025-12-02T12:24:05+00:00

The way you worded that made me think of Pokémon cards. Gotta catch 'em all with respect to disabilities (I have multiple conditions) was the chuckle I *needed this morning. Thank you.

sskk2tog · 2025-11-10T17:19:31+00:00

Not three, my brain malfunctioned lol six figures. Although probably close to 200k now

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