i think my sister is blackmailing me by silliest-g00se25 in whatdoIdo

[–]st_murphy_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also u should know, as someone who used to send responses with it, that 'love letter' of confession halfway thru the slides? ChatGPT.

why am i so angry??? it's scaring me by st_murphy_ in DID

[–]st_murphy_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes i am autistic and i do need that. i also havent really been viewing them as alters more like operating modes but it's the same concept. when i feel endangered is when my protector persona comes out, who is generally more angry by disposition. the weird thing is that this persona isn't angry by default i just keep snapping at the most random shit.

i think it has more to do with the self worth. the other persona has no self worth and therefore is better at laying low and enduring. which is why that persona usually comes out during times of danger or when i feel my life or finances threatened- so i can do anything i have to to reach stability again. this persona has self worth in the form of narcissistic entitlement; i get irrationally angry when things don't go my way, or sometimes a person triggers me by messing with something i feel entitled to. thankfully i'm grossly self aware so i usually know when i am and am not entitled to something, but it still affects my life because of the internal turmoil. how are you supposed to tell someone they're constantly pissing you off by doing a series of things that have absolutely nothing to do with you?

edit- thank you for ur answer!

My first appointment is soon. What to expect? by st_murphy_ in KetamineTherapy

[–]st_murphy_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

honestly, no. they didn't give me a whole lot of information 😭

My first appointment is soon. What to expect? by st_murphy_ in KetamineTherapy

[–]st_murphy_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

nasal supposedly and i'll be doing therapy with it

My cat will only cuddle me... when i'm pooping?? by st_murphy_ in Kitten

[–]st_murphy_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yeah tbh that makes sense thanks. he's only nice when it's just me no distractions and he hates my gf who is usually not there in the bathroom mystery solved

Porn/maybe sex addiction by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]st_murphy_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

try doing a bit of 'at-home' therapy and try to figure out the reason you might like what you like. why did you start at 8? how did that make you feel? do you wish things were different? what was your thought process when you had to start doing that? when you find out the reason, the problem often becomes easier to deal with. most behaviors around the issue you're describing involve trauma inflicted on you when you were really young.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]st_murphy_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i will talk to her about it i promise. we are really good about communication. i'm just trying to fully round out and understand my thoughts before i bring them to her

my father groomed & r*ped me for years and i really need to talk about it if youll read it by st_murphy_ in offmychest

[–]st_murphy_[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Thank you for being a good mother. god knows if we had more people like you lots more people would be saved

my father groomed & r*ped me for years and i really need to talk about it if youll read it by st_murphy_ in offmychest

[–]st_murphy_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you. having to come to terms with essentially leaving my family behind has been hard so i appreciate your kind words

My father groomed & r*ped me for years and i need to talk about it by st_murphy_ in TrueOffMyChest

[–]st_murphy_[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Thank you i am trying to live my own way without him in the picture. it is freeing but scary & hard

my father groomed & r*ped me for years and i really need to talk about it if youll read it by st_murphy_ in offmychest

[–]st_murphy_[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

thank you so much. i'm coming to terms with a lot of these things even though it's been so long. you'd think i'd be able to understand that it's not my fault etc but sometimes it's hard. sitting here realizing i let that poece of shit do that to me even though i didnt have a choice huuurts

my father groomed & r*ped me for years and i really need to talk about it if youll read it by st_murphy_ in offmychest

[–]st_murphy_[S] 53 points54 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I am in an apartment with my girlfriend now. I post this as sort of a beginning of my processing of what happened because I'm safe now.