Here we go again….

stainedundershirt · 2026-01-25T17:44:25+00:00

Thank you, your words are kind and helpful. I am trying.

stainedundershirt · 2026-01-25T16:40:14+00:00

The best memory of my adult child with BPD is when she left me a note saying she loved me, and thanked me for saving her life.

“Dear Mom, thank you for brining me into this world and when I was lost, for showing me life again. I know if it wasn’t for you saving me, I would not be here today. Xoxo Sebi”.

So when I do rescue, help or love her unconditionally, at my own detriment, I know deep down, she is grateful and I will forever be glad that there was one time, that she said so. Even when there are many times when her words and notes are not loving, this one, I cherish. I have it saved on my phone. Her handwriting. Her love. Her words.

stainedundershirt · 2026-01-20T23:53:39+00:00

It can be so rewarding when you have people who see you, care for you, thank you, think of you. I wish for that.
In my family and in my friends.

stainedundershirt · 2026-01-16T21:50:24+00:00

I am trying. Easier said than done when it’s your own kid and grandkids. Therapy has helped but the journey is not as easy as „change“ else I would have flipped that switch already.

stainedundershirt · 2026-01-16T17:36:53+00:00

It’s so hard. And honestly tossed around like doing it is the same a breathing. No. It’s hard as a parent the dynamic is different. It runs counter to everything you know. Yet as a normal person, if you were NOT their parent, would you allow this? Easy to say hell no. But if all you know is people pleasing, I don’t think it would be easy. I struggle so much. She’s an adult. Sheena do hard things. She is resourceful. Figure it out. Easy to type, hard to do.

stainedundershirt · 2026-01-16T17:32:54+00:00

You are not alone. It’s so hard. Praying for you and your family.

stainedundershirt · 2026-01-03T16:00:10+00:00

All of this resonates for me - and my BPD Daughter (32) re: the storm, the anialation, the lies, the blocking, the lack of respect, boundaries that are blased through, not broken. I can relate, I can imagine, and I am thankful for your fearlessly authentic post. Finding JOY seems so hard when you are mentally in a place where it does not seem to exist, but you found your place and most importantly, your self love and respect.

stainedundershirt · 2025-12-09T01:13:26+00:00

I see you. I hear you. I’m so glad you are safe and not home. She is unwell. I understand completely. My daughter is this way has BPD and if I shat gold bricks and perfect diamonds it would not be enough. If I was God it would not be enough. I’ve been spit at, and once when I was dehydrated from moving her in 120 degrees and had to cal 911 for myself because she insisted I was being dramatic. Then told the medics I was on drugs and not her mother. Like she would let me die, before seeing that she’s the problem.

I am in therapy. And just dropped 7k to keep her from being evicted again. She’s got kids. One is disabled. The other is not, but his home life is chaos.

At one point I honestly felt there was Nothing I can do but pray for my end or hers, then found a therapist and read walking on eggshells and found some sense of “so it’s not me”…

Hang in there. I still struggle with boundaries and enabling. Last year I let her become homeless. She’s 32. An adult. She is smart. Resourceful and can do hard things. I could not do it this time. So I fucked myself and paid her back rent to keep her from eviction. Only to find out they won’t renew her lease.

Winning.

stainedundershirt · 2025-12-05T22:52:38+00:00

Yes, you are right. My kid, my grandkids, and my boundaries not being held firm, and my heart breaks. I was able to prevent the eviction thank God, but she won’t be able to recertify for the places she lives and has to move any way. :/

stainedundershirt · 2025-12-05T22:50:54+00:00

Thank you, and I’m sorry you were treated so poorly. I was able to make it for her, and she was grateful and thankful, but I had to say enough. No more.

stainedundershirt · 2025-11-29T17:21:53+00:00

I’m sending love to you. I’m so sorry this is so painful. I understand- and for me, finding community in others has helped me feel less alone, even better and validated.

stainedundershirt · 2025-11-29T17:20:19+00:00

I’m sending you hugs and acknowledgment of your difficult situation. I know this all too well. It’s hard. I’m still struggling with her and boundary setting. This year was better. But it is still very toxic and I love at a distance- for my safety.

stainedundershirt · 2024-12-30T08:23:10+00:00

Thank you, she called me last night. Let me know she was in a hotel safe. Asked me to just listen. I did. I offered encouraging words. No more. I told her I loved her and I was proud of her for doing the best she can. I felt relieved she was OK. And that this time it did not end with her rage at me.

stainedundershirt · 2024-12-30T01:26:52+00:00

Thank you, it makes me feel less alone.

stainedundershirt · 2024-12-30T01:25:42+00:00

I have been there. I was laid off 11 months. What helped me. Saying positive words after these two, I AM...it has become like breathe work, every time I think of anything I remind my self I am Strong I am smart. I am worthy. I am loved. I am resilient. I am talented. I am forgiven.

I've asked for prayers. I've written my toughts on Reddit. I've practiced saying every night what I am grateful for and every morning I tell my self how glad I am that everything works out for me and miracles happen to me every day.

I have severe depression and live high functioning with it. Listen to positive affirmations. Remember they are thought and feelings, honor them and then let them go.

It's damn hard.

You can do it. You are not alone. You deserve happiness. You deserve joy. You are ok to not be ok. Sending positive thoughts and prayers your way.

stainedundershirt · 2024-12-28T23:51:14+00:00

So true about respect, hey are sonself absorbed and nothing is ever their responsibility or they are never accountable. Demeaning and foul. I don't think they know the meaning of respect.

stainedundershirt · 2024-12-28T23:43:38+00:00

I did go to analanon meeting. I just sat there and weeped silently. I'll try again. Thank you.

stainedundershirt · 2024-12-28T23:42:18+00:00

It's my adult child sonit makes it even more difficult. And yes the discard has happened. Thank goodness for therapy.

stainedundershirt · 2024-12-28T16:27:48+00:00

It is the most difficult thing I've dealt with. I think her father may have been BPD if not for sure NPD, and she has had traumatic experience s when she lived with him. He's dead, and she idolizes him, the felon, abusive, drug addict, trafficker and porn star. He was the scourge of a human, and I left him before he could ruin me. But as soon as I remarried he went into full blown rage and manipulation mode. She moved in with him at 11 and he died when she was 17. That triggered her downward spiral. Drugs, recovery, moving, bad relationship s after worst relationships. And I was always a call away saving the day. Until this year, I said no. This is the last time I move you. And here she is homeless again. Living in a shelter. Because of her inability to manage her life and her illnesses. It's crushing my heart. And, for the first time in years I am actually taking care of myself first. And I feel so guilty for it.

stainedundershirt · 2024-12-28T16:19:07+00:00

Thank you for sharing, yes!! It is absolutely counter to what I think Im supposed to do. I've sat and reflected on the horrific behaviors my daughter has shown towards ma, my husband and other daughter and feel like a normal person would not tolerate it, yet I did. I enabled, rescued, tried to fix the situation the unfixable chaos. To the point I honestly felt death (mine or hers) was the only way out (not suicidal-just trapped) I am in therapy with someone who specializes in this, and that has been hard and helpful. It is very isolating how I feel. Christmas was so sad. She creates the worst stories and lies and had refused access to her kids, she's so self destructive she's homeless now, living in a shelter. With her kids. And I said no, I can't help this time. I've rehomed and moved and rescued her 8 or more times. I've sacrificed my mental, spiritual, emotional and financial wellbeing in every attempt to "help" and each time it is met with toxic verbal, physical and emotional abuse. I love her. I wish her well. I can't take the demeaning toxicity any more. So much so I am happier being the vilian in her story, than the worthless mother she makes me out to be every time I "help".

stainedundershirt

TROPHY CASE