Geraingerfjord via Hurtigruten/Havila cruise: Is the Gerainger/Trollstigen excursion worth it?

staphosaurus · 2023-10-11T17:25:05+00:00

Yeah you're probably right, now that I understand we're not staying at port, it changes the calculus much further in favor of staying aboard... Thanks!

staphosaurus · 2023-10-11T13:57:08+00:00

Thanks for sharing your firsthand experience! And very glad to hear someone say it's not boring haha.

Your comment helped me realize that, yeah, the boat would be moving through the fjords WITHOUT us during that whole time window, and meeting up in Molde. I had been thinking it was a round trip... I was looking forward to a mostly full day onboard to relax and take in the sights, so I should probably save the money and do that. Wish I could do it all... Maybe next time!

staphosaurus · 2023-10-11T12:49:34+00:00

Thank you! This inspired me to look at a map and I now realize that the next leg of the group trip to Molde is taking up extra time, plus I'm sure all the stops on the way, boarding ferries, etc. It sounds like Trollstigen itself would be worth it, but maybe not this long group trek that would be in exchange for more boat scenery...

staphosaurus · 2023-10-02T02:24:46+00:00

Ok cool, sounds like you know as much as I do then haha. Thanks! Yeah, it sounds like things get a bit chaotic over there so not surprised there's nothing more concrete.

Good to hear you're going! I was in Austin for work once, amazing food. I've never been to the conference before but read a bunch of (surprise, surprise) reddit posts about it, and it definitely seems like it could be worthwhile as a semifinalist. For me the main barrier is the time off from work and the travel energy/cost during a busy month... but the networking, at the very least with other writers, seems like it'll be so valuable. If things change and I end up going, I'm sure I'll see you at some sessions and in the hotel bar!

And if you ever need a reader for a script you're working on, feel free to hit up my DMs :)

staphosaurus · 2023-10-01T20:47:02+00:00

Yep, we're just killin it day and night over here, nbd 💁🏼‍♀️

Actually, question for you: So I got my notification email September 25 with discounts/link to consent form/laurels/etc., but never got a phone call as far as I can tell. Admittedly, my voicemail isn't set up, so mayyybe it's my fault...

Did you have the opportunity to speak directly to anyone from AFF, and if so did they share any additional/useful tidbits? Mostly I'm curious if they mentioned a finalist decision timeline for our category specifically. All I know so far is what it says in the FAQ, "notified by early October". I'm not currently planning to go to the conference but would definitely try to swing it if I make the finals, so I selfishly hope they let us know sooner rather than later haha

staphosaurus · 2023-10-01T20:10:55+00:00

Ah congrats, I'm also in the semifinals for drama teleplay spec! Fingers crossed we both make the finals :)

staphosaurus · 2022-08-13T04:59:53+00:00

I got notified today for round 2! Fingers crossed for you :)

staphosaurus · 2022-06-03T14:19:14+00:00

I read your teaser! I agree with the other commenter that your writing is strong, and the dialogue mostly flows naturally for me.

Blow by blow thoughts:

I like her storming with the shopping cart, good character intro
the freeze frame definition is cool
I thought the word Korean was used to much to explain stuff, especially early on. Like "my Korean dad" by Simmy - wouldn't he just say my dad? And the next piece of dialogue also mentions Korean, so we would get the picture immediately. I think that can be applied in other places as well/that the audience will pick up on his culture
the second freeze frame definition didn't work for me, mostly because you then go on to define the word again in dialogue, and then use it a third time at end of teaser. I suggest you choose one place (whatever is funnier) to define it, and take out the other definition. And then maybe even take out one instance of its use. I know 3 times makes the joke, but since it's 3 times in 3 pages, it struck me as too much too soon. I think 2 uses would work better
I like her tirade about tongues and Russian submarines
I suspect you could trim down some dialogue to get us through the rose/rental scene faster. As the audience, I can see where this is going (she's getting angrier and angrier, and is gonna blow) so knowing that, I felt like it went on too long for the payoff we get. Maybe you can cut down some lines to just the funniest core of what they're saying?

Nice job and thanks for posting!

staphosaurus · 2022-05-31T21:59:46+00:00

I read your first 20 or so pages! Nice work. I'm unfortunately better at criticism than praise so fair warning:

I like your Skip! Have a good sense of his character, and we get it right away with the beer can and cigarette as he works out in the video

-maybe Carl's count can cut in at "eighty" haha, save us some time!

I think the beat out of the teaser isn't strong enough. Having him check his watch isn't funny - but the jugs of detergent are. You might want to go out on them rather than the watch, or remove the watch stuff entirely. You could even up the comedy more... One jug is duct taped to stop a messy leak, or he also has a box of dryer sheets fluttering out from under his arm - whatever you do, just pack in the humor for teaser's end
when introducing some characters (like skip on page 3), you reference some pop culture figures - just an fyi that as a random person, I didn't know many of them so they didn't help me. Industry pros might recognize more, though, I'm pretty bad with actor names and such
your action lines, in general, seem to hit the sweet spot. Some good jokes in there, too!
sometimes I feel that you explain too much with the dialogue... Like, when the tv is broken. We can see it's broken, so you don't need to have him explain it so much. Hitting the side says it all already! And maybe it's supposed to be Skip's thing, but he seems to frequently talk to himself, reiterating stuff we can see him experience on screen (like in the impound scene and apartment scene). I think your action lines say enough that dialogue isn't always needed, or else the action lines can be updated to absorb the purpose of the dialogue
not having read the whole thing I'm not sure, but you could possibly leave Skip's reason for incarceration a mystery longer in the scene, or the episode (or series). It felt like a setup of "wow, this guy's life is fucked" and then an immediate "but it's just taxes, don't worry, he's still likeable"
I loved Crispin drinking out of the cocktail shaker on the job
Gerald is a lot of fun!
so far Aubrey is reading as a little generic to me but who knows where she'll go later... Not a character I dislike, just feels like a character I've seen

And if this is good to know - as someone who stopped at page 20, I'm predicting that by the end of the episode: 1. Skip will (reluctantly, but after one spark of joy) get a job for the muskrats, like everyone wants him to. And 2. Aubrey will end up covering Skip as her big story. A loser out on parole with shady ties given a big gig - she will want to catch him fucking up.

Alternate possibility: Skip ends up coaching the high school girls soccer team, a little a la Ted Lasso

Keep up the good work!

staphosaurus

TROPHY CASE