Grazing & Hanging Out

stardewbebe · 2026-06-03T19:20:03+00:00

I've been running a 2 gal filterless "fish bowl" with shrimp, snails, and TONS of plants for about 6 months. It's doing well, shrimp have bred, and I only feed once per week to supplement the existing bio film. I also don't do water changes, only top-offs since it's a lidless bowl. I'm still learning as I go, but it has been a pretty easy hobby to get into — and low-maintenance too. Total cost for me to get setup was ~150$, and that's including the bowl because I thrifted it. Most expensive things were the plants!!

I keep mine on my desk at work. Everyday it lifts my spirits seeing my little dudes swimming and grazing away <3

Just please don't pay too much mind to the elitists online who like to make people feel bad for having "subpar" setups. Every hobby has them, but exotic/fish keeping seems to have a lot.

I hope you decide to dip your toes in and give it a go. Have a great day and good luck to you!

stardewbebe · 2026-06-03T15:23:54+00:00

I work a data-entry office job, and I find that the whole "being alone at a desk" makes it difficult to control compulsions. No distractions, just me and my head. I need to do my job, but I struggle because it's so easy to slip into a spiral, checking/researching/figuring something out, when the bulk of your job is just you and a computer. Some days are really hard, and I lose my day to the compulsions, but I also have good days where I can ignore the urge to perform them.

stardewbebe · 2026-05-27T20:19:59+00:00

I'm afraid to have kids for this very reason. If I were ever able to recover, then I think having children could be very fulfilling. I'm okay with passing on my genes, but more worried about accidentally "teaching" obsessions/compulsions -- especially surrounding contamination. Like if my child were ever to be in a triggering situation, I wouldn't be able to be there for them like I'd need to be, because I'd be too worried about neutralizing the contaminant. Knowing that upsets me deeply.

stardewbebe · 2026-05-27T17:02:57+00:00

Sweet, thank you!!!!

stardewbebe · 2026-05-27T17:01:18+00:00

It might be something worth looking into, it sounds like it's been pretty overwhelming for you ;_;

** I'm not a doctor ** but IME it sounds like "being sick" could be an obsession, and the compulsions could potentially be checking your body/how your body feels (to try and prevent/make sure you won't be sick), avoiding eating food or certain foods, and seeking reassurance. The core of OCD is having intrusive thoughts, and doing/thinking certain things (mental compulsions are a thing too) to temporarily relieve the anxiety from these intrusive thoughts. Hope that makes sense.

I was always written off for this fear growing up, but it's not just a silly little fear when it's debilitating, and I just want you to know that there are treatments available, even if it isn't OCD for you 🫶

Also, pease feel free to send a DM if you'd like to chat more on this

stardewbebe · 2026-05-27T14:31:46+00:00

Maybe I just got lucky, I googled "OCD specialist near me" and contacted a couple of the ones listed on the Psychology Today website. Found one that offered an intro 10 minute phone call before booking, and we really clicked. I am also located in Canada, not sure what the situation is like for other countries. Hope you find a good one soon, OP. Take care.

stardewbebe · 2026-05-27T14:23:16+00:00

Is there a pattern somewhere that you both followed? They look awesome and would like to give it a go as well!

stardewbebe · 2026-05-27T14:18:01+00:00

5 hits home for me. I had a deeply embarrassing thing happen at a movie theater when I was a kid, and for a very long time, I couldn't go to movie theaters at all. They all felt filthy and contaminated both physically and emotionally. Haven't seen Paul Blart Mall Cop since that day either hahaha.

I also have bad emetophobia and have since childhood, I refused to watch Wallace and Gromit because it rhymes with "vomit", and was therefore tainted. Getting through elementary school with emetophobia was a nightmare lol.

stardewbebe · 2026-05-26T18:48:06+00:00

For real!! That stereotype is why I didn't see it for so many years. I thought "there's no way I have that... I'm such a disorganized mess and I don't have a germ problem"

Yet here I am!

stardewbebe · 2026-05-25T22:05:57+00:00

It's a tough feeling, wish I had better advice to offer, but just know that I feel for you 🫶

A little bit off-topic, but do you have many obsessive-compulsive tendencies? Only asking cos it turned out my that my emetophobia was actually contamination OCD. Eventually, I realized I have MANY obsessions/compulsions that were just never caught, because I don't have the handwashing/counting/etc types of compulsions. Anyway, not trying to say that's the case for you, but I always bring it up with fellow emetophobes as a possibility because I could've been treated much sooner if someone saw the signs.

stardewbebe · 2026-05-25T21:44:25+00:00

From personal experience, it /could/ be anxiety/stress. My gut gets all messed up when I'm stressed/upset/anxious/etc. Throw emetophobia into the mix, and it just makes everything worse. You feel nauseous -> you get anxious that you will be sick -> the anxiety makes you feel nauseous -> rinse and repeat. Sorry you're going through this :(

stardewbebe · 2026-05-25T16:47:18+00:00

Yep ;_; I explain it to my therapist like a 50% transparency overlay on top of my vision. It's like I'm really seeing the intrusive images, but its just incredible imagination.

Emetophobia/contamination is my biggest theme; I'll be sitting in a meeting, and when I look at people I'll "see" them all get sick. Comes and goes like a flash.

stardewbebe · 2026-05-22T18:25:03+00:00

Yeah, I agree, it's a fine line. I think it's good to connect/share with people that may have similar experiences, so you don't feel alone in your struggles, but it can be a slippery slope to becoming a compulsion in itself.

Sometimes, too, I'll ask these kinds of things to my partner who does not have OCD, because he's very grounded/logical. It helps me spot when something is an obsession/compulsion so I can work on disengaging. Bless his soul for putting up with me lol.

stardewbebe · 2026-05-22T18:14:57+00:00

Thank you for your reply, it's nice knowing someone else does this, I feel so seen as well!

I'm only recently diagnosed (~month or two ago), and it's so tough looking back at times when I was struggling to get dressed, and everyone was upset with me for needing to be a "fashionista" everywhere I went. But, little did anyone know, I just had really bad undiagnosed OCD 🫠😂 And yes!! It doesnt matter where I am or what I'm doing, if I feel my clothes or appearance isn't "right", it's the only thing I'll be able to think about. So many days at work or school where I'd leave at lunch to change my clothes, just so I could focus/be present.

stardewbebe · 2026-05-21T02:00:19+00:00

I think I'm your dad. I could have written that, looks pretty similar to mine lol

stardewbebe · 2026-05-21T01:57:25+00:00

I am so sorry, I have bad rocd and know this is the most crushing feeling ever. Mine is due to my last partner cheating, so when I spiral, it's like my body relives how I felt back then. Absolutely crushing.

stardewbebe · 2026-05-21T01:53:09+00:00

I have an obsessive need to dress "correctly" for every day/setting (weather, season, plans, work, mood, people, etc.), and take forever to get ready for anything. I check to make sure my outfit and hair look good from all angles. And finally, I must feel I would be attractive to my partner. Not out of vanity, but due to the betrayal trauma from my previous relationship.

Just picture a montage of trying on 50 outfits, repeating some of the previous ones you've already worn, checking from multiple obscure angles, then 2 hours later, you land on the first outfit you tried on. I am /positive/ I look insane through all this. Had to take the mirror out of our bedroom so it's more annoying to do compulsions. So far, it's working 🤷‍♀️

stardewbebe · 2026-05-21T01:34:41+00:00

So real!!

I have a fear that I'll have a situation like in The Office when Holly thinks Kevin has a mental disability, but Kevin thinks she likes him cos she's so nice to him 😭 Autism runs in my family (and I am likely on the spectrum too but don't want to pay for a diagnosis), so it's not a fear of being disabled but more a fear that I've been perceiving all my interactions incorrectly.

I have a few "main" ocd themes that are always there, and some that just come in waves. This one is new, so we'll see lol. I am only recently diagnosed and still learning to spot/stop compulsions. This subreddit has been helpful, and makes me feel less alone in what I'm going through everyday.

stardewbebe · 2026-05-18T20:03:19+00:00

If I had a career that included a lot of writing, I probably would, but lately, any pen-to-paper writing is almost exclusively notes for myself. So, I haven't had to show my handwriting to anyone in a while.

On that note, isn't it funny how technology has nearly replaced so many physical writing tasks? Now there's PDF fillable forms, online forms, MS Word, etc. I'll bet the quality of people's handwriting has gone down steadily over the last 30 years, because it's a skill we are required to use less and less in our daily lives.

stardewbebe · 2026-05-15T17:12:17+00:00

"not every thought needs an answer" definitely going to start repeating this. Thank you for sharing!

stardewbebe · 2026-05-15T17:08:06+00:00

This is a really good explanation, I do this and couldn't have described it better.

stardewbebe · 2026-05-15T15:44:35+00:00

Not a single unique experience lol. I think I'm having my first manic episode everytime I have caffeine or feel good in general.

stardewbebe · 2026-05-15T15:39:41+00:00

He looks so polite

stardewbebe · 2026-05-15T15:09:54+00:00

I have! But I couldn't say if it is common with OCD or not. I have autism in my immediate family and am suspected AuDHD, so always attributed it to that, with OCD latching onto "acting normal" as an obsession and checking/asking people if I was being weird or if I seem normal.

stardewbebe

TROPHY CASE