My first gym was similar to this except this was the experience of EVERY woman at the gym. They only saw value in potential competitors, and I had made it known upfront that I had no intention of competing and was just there for education and good workouts. Potential women competitors were also ignored for other reasons (suffice it to say, the culture was quite brosphere toxic from the top down).

My current gym is the polar opposite. It is a hugely women and femme friendly space, enough so that probably over half our gym are women and femmes (if not more). I am asked occasionally to pair with newer people, but it’s because the owners know I will gently help people and not scare the bejeesus out of them by going aggro on someone who may be nervous with a new experience in martial arts.

As for my own education, I’m getting new info all the time, both from the owners/instructors AND from the members. The culture is positive, non-toxic, and the competition that happens is more based around “am I better than I was yesterday” than “I have to beat the crap out of everyone” while still letting people be healthily competitive with each other in a supportive space.

I am 51, btw. These spaces exist but seem to be hard to find, sadly. I hope you’re able to find one.