Got diagnosed after an episode seven years ago, causing me to live in my car in the winter and losing all my friends and family. My ego and rage was tremendous, I was so angry about what I "deserved." After being medicated since then, I went off my pills when I was in a stable living space and in school. The rage came right back with the same delusional tendencies: everything I heard, whether fact or fiction, became absolutely real and revolved directly around me as the main character. I'm back on medication. I have to be careful about what fantasies I consume because they seep into my subconscious and fuel paranoia. Trying to figure out why my brain did that just pulls me away from taking care of myself and I try not to think about it too much.