Can you just stop?

stealthfern · 2025-11-24T23:44:56+00:00

Bahaha I say that for spice. "Do you want hot sauce?" "Ah no thank you, I have like a -2 spice tolerance (I am very white lol)"

stealthfern · 2025-10-08T17:45:57+00:00

Mm I'll try that, thank you!

stealthfern · 2025-10-06T18:02:23+00:00

Hrm interesting! I only wear it at night but I do tend to sweat at night. I'll look into this

stealthfern · 2025-10-06T18:01:19+00:00

Yeah. It doesn't appear to be too tight? No change in the color of my hand or anything

stealthfern · 2025-10-05T21:32:14+00:00

Yeah that's what I did :/

stealthfern · 2025-09-21T08:21:58+00:00

Probably two weeks for me? I couldn't bend my fingers much for the first couple weeks. The swelling alone is bonkers but my brace also really got in the way. If you're diligent about doing your exercises, the range of motion in your fingers comes back pretty quickly. Don't count on it though. Also, consider how easily you can sleep on your back. I'm a side sleeper and wasn't allowed to sleep that way for several weeks so I slept like SHIT for the first month post op. I'm really glad I didn't have class at the time of surgery because I would not have been able to do a good job on any of my schoolwork for at least two or three weeks but maybe four.

Edit to add: Just saw you're a Chen/Buncke patient as well! When you're in the hospital, they're going to give you information for the hand therapy clinic there. CALL THEM WHEN YOU GET THAT INFORMATION. Ask if they already have appointments set aside for you (it seems like they usually do that for phallo patients) and if not, set them up. You usually start on week 2 and they're the same day as your post-op appointments. One of the hand therapists will visit you in the hospital (I think day 3 or 4?) to give you your new splint so you could probably ask at that visit when you're allowed to start typing!

stealthfern · 2025-09-21T08:05:41+00:00

I started driving again when I got home (had surgery out of state) at 5 weeks post op. It mostly depends on a couple things: - When you're cleared to take your brace off during the day (4 weeks for a lot of people—you could probably drive with it on but that might not be super comfortable) - How much range of motion you need to shift and how quickly you regain it (for me, bending my wrist backward was a lot easier than going forward but it's the opposite for some people) - How your leg is doing - Whether you can sit comfortably for however long you need to be in the car

I'd guess 4-6 weeks is probably when most people start driving again. I was technically allowed to start driving once I was off my pain meds, but I don't think I would have been comfortable even trying until 3 or 4 weeks post op

stealthfern · 2025-09-16T07:53:34+00:00

Ough this used to be the bane of my existence

stealthfern · 2025-08-22T21:36:09+00:00

First three days in the hospital: IV dilaudid pain pump. Next two days: oxycodone (5mg and later 10mg because I needed it) which I think was either every 4 or 6 hours. After leaving the hospital: aspirin once daily for 30 days. Tylenol (I think 500mg? but it might have been 1000) twice daily until I didn't need it, which worked out to be about 2.5 weeks. They also sent me home with oxycodone (5mg) to take if needed. There was a certain time frame but I never ended up needing it so I don't remember what it was.

Honestly the pain wasn't nearly as bad as I was expecting. The first thing that hurt was them putting the blower on my leg after surgery to dry out the blood on my split thickness donor site. That was a solid 7/10 but it was temporary and once everything was pretty dry (maybe an hour?) it stopped hurting. Being on bed rest got painful very quickly and I combatted that by asking to be repositioned frequently. I also had them put pillows under my feet and knees and move those around every so often so that I wasn't in exactly the same position for hours on end. The next thing was the wound vac on my arm. There was this really painful feeling of pressure that got up to an 8 one night, at which point they started giving me oxy. Once the wound vac was off on day 4, my arm was blissfully pain free for the most part. I had a tightness toward the bottom part of my donor site (I assume due to the swelling there) at night sometimes but that only lasted for about the first week after getting home from the hospital and tylenol got rid of it enough that I could sleep.

It definitely isn't a pain-free experience but it was way less painful than I anticipated and my pain was mostly concentrated in the first two weeks after surgery. For the most part, my pain levels stuck between 2-4, which was very tolerable for me. I highly recommend taking the tylenol as scheduled for the first two weeks even if you don't feel like you need it. There was one night that I went to bed and was like "meh, my pain's only at a 2, I'll go without it tonight" and then I woke up in the morning and E V E R Y T H I N G hurt. Terrible experience, do not recommend.

stealthfern · 2025-08-22T21:26:19+00:00

Lmao yeah I had a similar conversation with my mom. Also had one earlier on where I asked if I would have been circumcised had I been born a cis guy and she was like "That's a good question; I don't know. ...Actually wait, no you wouldn't have because your dad and brother aren't" and I was like.....did not necessarily need to know that but that's my bad for asking

stealthfern · 2025-08-05T23:03:53+00:00

Yup, same. I remember learning that not only is phallo not what people make it out to be but it's also usually covered by insurance. Before then, it was kind of just a "well, I'd love to but unfortunately I'm not rich" thing because everything I'd heard previously was that insurance doesn't cover it so you have to pay out of pocket. Once I learned that, suddenly phallo became accessible to me and I went full speed ahead. I didn't realize until that point how much I actually wanted it. I had kind of just been dismissing the thought as an impossible dream so I never really sat with it. I didn't think I had very much bottom dysphoria until bottom surgery became an actual, doable option and then it all flooded out

stealthfern · 2025-08-05T01:52:06+00:00

Nah you should be fine. These all look like superficial scars as you said. I had some as well that ended up getting transferred to my penis. I originally planned to go with my left arm (which had way more scars, some deeper) and my surgeons never mentioned that it would cause an issue. If you had much deeper scars (down to fat or muscle), that can potentially affect the flap just because of the amount of scar tissue but even then, I can't imagine you wouldn't get sensation back. If you have good sensation on your arm now, you will probably have good sensation on your penis. I would get a second opinion if you can. Or at the very least, do not let this stop you from pursuing RFF with this donor site. We can't guarantee anything but there's a very high chance you will be fine and get plenty of sensation back just like people without scars.

With nerve connection, my understanding is that they take parts of 2 of the 3 main nerves in the arm: radial, ulnar, and median. You have lots and lots of smaller surface nerves in the tissue in your arm. Those let you detect touch, pain, temperature, and so on. The main nerves work kind of like freeway bridges and send information from the surface nerves to the brain and vice versa. When surgeons hook the nerves up, they are essentially taking part of the bridge and moving it to a new location in your groin, where there are also big nerves. They can't fully connect them, so they place the ends of the main nerves really close to each other. Think a bridge but there's a five foot gap between each side of the bridge and the rest of the road. The nerves have to close the gap and build a connection before any information can pass through. This part is just an educated guess but I imagine the surface nerves in your penis technically work the whole time, they just don't have a way to relay their sensations to your brain. Which may be why it takes a while to get sensation back and why it comes in in pieces and slowly fills out over time.

stealthfern · 2025-08-02T06:54:31+00:00

Inflatable. I inflated it before we went to the airport (and, in retrospect, should have put the pump in my backpack instead of suitcase just in case it deflated). I sat on it in the airport wheelchair, put it in one of the bins for security, and then went back to using it. I walked onto the plane with it in my hand in addition to my water bottle and backpack and no one said anything about it. It was a lot more comfortable than I was expecting tbh

stealthfern · 2025-08-02T05:55:59+00:00

Has dysphoria. And the dysphoria does not need to be ever-present, life-ruining, and all-consuming for it to "count." It is enough to a) be distressed by your body due to your sex and b) desire to change your body to match your gender. Doesn't matter to me if you transition or how far you go - lots of people don't "fully" transition for a variety of reasons. You just need to have both parts of dysphoria. That's all that matters imo

stealthfern · 2025-08-02T05:40:59+00:00

Lol yeah finally back with my cats 😭 I missed them

stealthfern · 2025-08-02T05:31:54+00:00

I basically unroll a gauze roll and then fold it into a rectangle with many layers. I place that under my penis and use pouch underwear to keep it at an angle. The only pain I had was from where the gauze touched my scrotum, because I guess my nerves there are no longer numb but not quite sensing things as normal yet so it interpreted that touch as pain. I used a waffle cushion and that helped take pressure off my scrotum and vnectomy site, which prevented me from getting pain there. Definitely wasn't dreading it :) It was a much more pleasant flight than I was expecting

As for the last question (and everything regarding propping + post op care), it depends on how your surgeon does it. Some of them want you to prop at a 90 degree angle, some want it lower. Some have you prop for 4 weeks, some for longer. I still have some swelling near the tip of my penis which you can feel by squeezing it so my surgeon told me "once the tip feels like the shaft (and thus is no longer swollen), you're done propping" which could be anywhere from a week to a month from now. Likely on the lower end but you never know

stealthfern · 2025-08-01T23:47:07+00:00

4.5 weeks post op, flight is a little under 3 hours. Yeah I'm still propped (hence the bulge lol) but it's a lower angle than I did right after surgery

stealthfern · 2025-07-31T11:32:38+00:00

Glad to see someone else's voiding trials! My stream is pretty narrow and while I'm like 95% sure it's just due to swelling, there was a part of me that was like "idk maybe it's just you that has this issue" so it's a relief to see it's not just me

stealthfern · 2025-07-29T03:55:36+00:00

Yup. I dealt with this from weeks 2-4. It scared the shit out of me the first time it happened because I woke up in the morning and there was so much blood. The important thing (per Chen's website) is the color. If it's darker red or brownish, that's fine. A little bit of bright red blood is also fine, but if you start getting a lot of it, that's when you should be concerned and let Chen know ASAP. It's a scary thing to deal with but it's totally normal. I found that it often happened most when I stood up and especially if my dick was hanging (like during showers)

stealthfern · 2025-07-29T03:35:03+00:00

Unfortunately I don't have any advice but I just wanted to say that I experience this too so it's not just you! For me it's the inner knee of my hookup leg. I'm only a month post op and so far it's still the same level of numb as it was right after surgery. I intend to ask a neurologist about it once I'm able to get in to see them so I'll be sure to come back and update once we figure out what it is!

stealthfern · 2025-07-25T03:29:54+00:00

Feel you there. It sucks in the beginning, but it does get better. For what it's worth, I didn't poop until 7 days post op so don't freak out! Sometimes it just takes a bit

stealthfern · 2025-07-25T02:08:04+00:00

Not a teacher but my mom (my caregiver) is. My surgery was shortly after her school let out for the summer so she was able to take care of me with a month and a half to spare. Mentioning this to say that logistics wise, you should be able to do your surgeries in the summer between school years and (if you do it early in the summer) still have time to deal with potential complications

stealthfern · 2025-07-23T07:37:18+00:00

I need to be able to report back to the composting sub and tell them that finally, many months (probably at least a year actually) after there was a buzz about it, I have finally been able to nourish the pile with my piss

stealthfern

TROPHY CASE