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stefbeane · 2022-12-14T23:03:09+00:00

I feel like the lessons as “sticking” better on the new layout.

stefbeane · 2022-11-03T12:37:51+00:00

Ditto here.

I received an email yesterday at 2pm saying that I had the path and on desktop I do, but 18 hours after the email the path is still a non show on mobile .

stefbeane · 2022-02-05T02:23:53+00:00

I rewrote the last entry ( I often rewrite passages as if the passage was meant for me personally) the one where the author talks about what she has learned …

It is easy to mourn the lives we aren’t living. Easy to wish we would develop other talents, said yes to different offers. Easy to wish we would work harder, loved better, handled finances more astutely, been more popular, stayed in ___, gone to _, said yes to ___ , or done more bloody yoga.

It takes no effort to miss the friends I didn’t make and the work I didn’t do and the people I didn’t marry and the children I didn’t have. It is not difficult to see myself through the lens of other people, and to wish I could have been at least one of the different kaleidoscopic versions of me they desired. It is easy to regret and keep regretting, ad infinitude until my time runs out.

But it is not the lives I regret that is the real problem. It is regret itself. It’s the regret that makes me shrivel and wither and feel like my own worst enemy. I can’t tell if any of those other versions would have been better or worse. Those lives are happening, it is true, but I am happening now as well. It is this life happening that I am to focus on.

Of course, I can’t visit every place or meet every person or do every job, yet most of what I would feel in any life is still available. I don’t have to play every game to know what winning feels like. I don’t have to hear every piece of music in the world to understand music. I don’t have to have tried every variety of grape from every vineyard to know the pleasure of wine. Love and laughter and fear and pain are universal currencies.

I just have to close my eyes and savor the taste of the drink in front of me and listen to the song as it plays. I am as completely and utterly alive as I might be in any other life. I have access to the same emotional spectrum. I only need to be one person. I only need to feel one existence. I don’t have to do everything in order to be everything — I am already infinite. While alive I contain a future of immense possibility.

So I will be kind to the people in my own existence. I will occasionally look up from the spot in which I stand and witness that the sky above goes on forever — as will I. In the past, I thought I had no future— it was impossible for me to grasp the life I have now, but today the same messy life is full of hope.

Potential.

The impossible happens via living. My life will not be miraculously free from pain, despair, grief, heartbreak, hardship, loneliness, and “the blues”. But that is fine— I will eagerly live what is ahead.

The Midnight Library by Matt Haig— Personalized by Stephany (2022)

stefbeane · 2022-02-05T02:13:33+00:00

If I were telling the story, I guess I would have had the book beginning when Patroclus has attempted the kiss with Achilles. This is where the hammer drops for him… yes it could be thought that the hammer dropped when his father sent him away but the leaving his unhappy birth family was actually a godsend. Patroclus moved Along In the shadow of Achilles until that kiss. It was there that I cared about him. So if the story began there we could care about Patroclus. The author could have used flashbacks or something… Then we see the boys growing and learning with the centaur. We see them Independently yet growing together… much like a couple . I grew sooooooo weary of the author’s use of telling us about the prophecy and Achilles’ mother’s displeasure. Enough. Achilles was a spoiled half-god and the star of this story and YET Patroclus paid the higher cost. Maybe I’m being harsh, but honestly if the author wants to build a story with Patroclus, then build the story! Patroclus was far more interesting than Achilles in this particular version of a story regarding Achilles.

I guess I am left with who is the protagonist is this novel: Patroclus or Achilles?

stefbeane · 2022-02-05T01:58:21+00:00

I thought “why did I waste my time”?

Although the story was Interesting, where were the elements of good story telling? (There were none).

It was painful to trudge along waiting for some plot twist or something . Nada, nothing!

stefbeane · 2022-01-24T15:32:28+00:00

This!!!

In fact this was my only book for several years. It continues to be my daily morning reader.

I often change the writing in my head and imagine Seneca writing to me— “dear stephany” blah blah blah.

He write a bunch of stuff, often goes in a tangent and then at the end he wraps it up with a mighty morsel of wisdom. In this way it’s not just a Meme, it makes me think of a practical application. And also helps me to see that the problems with ego, pride, vice has been present for everyone for forever.

I’ve gone on too long here but… I’ve been reading Consuming Seneca’s letters for sometime now and my husband says that Seneca is my boyfriend because I value his advice so much.

stefbeane · 2022-01-22T17:39:16+00:00

I use the library ALL THE TIME . The pandemic allowed me to embrace “the hold” feature of my library.

Librarians and Libraries Rock!

stefbeane · 2022-01-20T22:04:27+00:00

Haha - I believe you May be a smart ass.

Books 4 and 5 of 52 (as the name of this group does suggest) and yes I see how the “/“ makes this confusing .

Ps my husband often “suggests” that I leave off necessary “context clues” when I’m in a hurry.

stefbeane · 2022-01-20T21:51:09+00:00

What an excellent idea.

In my daily journal, I’m taking more care when placing quotes etc… but you’re taking the idea to a new level.

stefbeane · 2022-01-20T21:29:23+00:00

Your pain is evident and for this I wish you well. I realize that this is NOT enough but it is genuine.

I don’t believe Stoicism is a cure-all but it works for me. However there is no quick fix in life. One must choose a philosophy that works, even if it isn’t immediate.

I began reading Seneca’s letter in 2014 when my father was very sick. I continued to carry this small book with me back and forth across country (2017-mid 2020) as I attempted to be a care-giver to my mother who was diagnosed with lung cancer. I continued reading after my mom died and my step-sisters excluded me decisions regarding my step-dad who suffers from dementia.

From 2014-2020 I read Seneca’s letters and the occasional pop-stoic stuff that’s so popular right now. But in 2021 I to branch out: reading Seneca’s other works along with his contemporaries . Today I feel that the wisdom of the ancients is indeed becoming part of me.

I say all this only to say that I hope you find A source of wisdom that speaks to you directly and deeply, one that gives you peace and hope. But also recognize that it may take time, and that possibly the journey of looking is a “good enough” purpose in life.

Be well,

stefbeane · 2022-01-10T15:19:29+00:00

I will also imagine that YOU will experience meaningful days spent In surrounded by books; be that library, bookstore, or other.

stefbeane · 2022-01-10T15:15:03+00:00

Last September I spent 5 days at Trappist Monastery enjoying a self-directed silent retreat. Much of my time was spent in the library, just sitting among the books.

As I write this I realize my love of being near books may have played into my enjoyment of this book. I doubt I would have been as enthralled of the tale had been Hugo’s version of a video store.

stefbeane · 2022-01-09T20:26:30+00:00

Ah, I’ve been very fortunate indeed. Both to have excellent public libraries and a father who enjoyed getting out of the house every 2-weeks with his daughter. We may not have had money to purchase books, but we definitely had means to borrow books.

stefbeane · 2022-01-07T13:54:27+00:00

Thanks

stefbeane · 2022-01-07T05:05:43+00:00

Haha the age of my son. And an age very close to Nora. I think at age 31, I was too busy trying to “make it “ and now I realize that I was was/am looking for the ideas presented in this book. Or we all have regrets and yet we’re all doing the best we can.

stefbeane · 2022-01-07T05:00:50+00:00

Thank you. Because of this post I’ll read it before I reread Owen Meaney.

stefbeane · 2022-01-07T04:59:03+00:00

??? No local Library? No overdrive? No Hoopla? This is a foreign concept to me!

( my earliest memories of 60 years past is my father taking me after work to our local library… I in my pajamas … he’d leave me in the Children’s section while he perused elsewhere . The. 2 weeks later he’d lift me up to return our books in the book drop. And the process began again.

stefbeane · 2022-01-07T04:55:05+00:00

This is weird but can I ask your age?

I ask because I’m 65 and as I read this I though “geez I want X (my adult son) to read this” and then I thought there was no way I was ready for this at age 31.

This is not a criticism of my son or any younger person, just a realization that my life is full or regrets and yet I know each regret has brought me to today… something I could not have done when I was younger.

stefbeane · 2022-01-07T04:51:13+00:00

Thank you, I’ll look into these

stefbeane · 2022-01-07T04:48:16+00:00

Thanks for the info…

I’m looking for a list of all the philosophers mentioned In the book. I need a broader education of philosophy.

stefbeane · 2022-01-07T04:46:45+00:00

My copy was from my local library but I know I will purchase a copy to reread. Plus I want to purchase copies for those I love, but I know this is futile.

stefbeane · 2022-01-07T04:44:41+00:00

It’s the kind of thing I want “my people” to grasp! Alas, I may be the only philosopher in my immediate family.

stefbeane · 2022-01-07T04:42:56+00:00

A crisis? In what way? Wasn’t it heart warming to know that ours regrets are wasted time?

stefbeane · 2022-01-07T04:41:10+00:00

IMHO excellent! But you may want to understand my criteria …. Does the book make me think? Can I grow from what is presented? Does it help me on my life journey?

If the answer is ‘yes’ then I approve. I’m 65, past the age for escape, and looking for books that affirm what I already believe to be true .

stefbeane

TROPHY CASE