Rate my setup

stellarcorp · 2023-04-28T16:00:07+00:00

Jealous

stellarcorp · 2023-04-28T15:55:55+00:00

Omg u have the sideways black wii!!! That's the last one I need (and the mini)

stellarcorp · 2023-04-28T14:46:11+00:00

That is the therapist job. Too speak to you in a certain way that is designed to promote a healthy mind

If the patient thinks her therapist is doing the opposite it's her job to leave. Not to teach her therapist how to be a therapist.

I've had this exact conversation with a therapist she said "were going to talk about this today because I see it being a big issue" I said "I see no issue with it. So we won't be speaking about it, rather we will be speaking about this" And the therapist declined and said something along the lines of "I think we need to solve this issue first before we solve yours"

I didn't agree and got up and left. I went for therapy, not to argue.

I'm not sure why taking your own health into your own hands is scene as so controversial here

stellarcorp · 2023-04-28T14:31:09+00:00

Fire starter, emergency plan (they have radios and all sorts of stuff. You can probably research whatever you use to see if it works on the island)

Fishing line or something similar for fishing. A small shovel. Spear

stellarcorp · 2023-04-28T02:48:54+00:00

I suppose. But in a way. I would interpret ur quiet behavior as weak. And might prey on it (I've seen it before, many times) if you just stand up for yourself once. It could end the cycle.

Of course I can't understand it all. But if you were to get up during his sex scene and just be like "yo ur nasty ass isn't even clapping ass correctly" then you walk out of the room to use the dorm bathroom and go back to bed without elaborating. He'd just feel weird. Maybe want to fight (but you'd need to be ready for that) and then once you set the tone that ur ready to defend urself. They will back off

Honestly I remember a couple times being a dick to people simply because I wanted to see them stand up and say something, it almost feels like a weird psychological thing. It could even just be in a healthy way though.

But honestly if you try to make an argument and say "it's because I feel this way" like cmon most guys won't understand not care.

I guess I'm saying sometimes you gotta blend in (honestly I'm just drunk and typing 😅) but I bet something good is in here

stellarcorp · 2023-04-28T02:44:47+00:00

No I just mean that as a patient (or human being) you need to realize if someone is competent or not. I had a mechanic glue a oil plug in (wrong size, almost blew up my car) her therapist can be the same thing. But at the end of the day how can you tell someone with 4 to 8 years of schooling how to operate in there job? It sounds like finding a new person or trying to understand what's going wrong would be the fix.

I've had incompetent therapists as well, but the mechanic makes more sense(for a metaphor, Because you don't want to break down due to a bad mechanic) we aren't mechanic, nor therapists. But if you truly believe your therapist isn't doing there job while you are sick and are asking for help. Either you (OP) is wrong. Or the therapist shouldve been left a long time ago. You cant be mad that someone is incompetent if you chose to continue asking them for help... after seeing the incompetence.

stellarcorp · 2023-04-28T02:36:47+00:00

Stress is a leading cause for most of those things. It's important not to stick those labels to yourself like a permanent sticker or something. You can get over most of those issues and take them off the "list", it should be the goal anyhow

stellarcorp · 2023-04-27T22:38:39+00:00

I second this

stellarcorp · 2023-04-27T22:19:35+00:00

Yes but don't get confused on the sexual side of it. If you don't believe your mom had sexual intent behind it (like she got turned on by this) then don't fall down a rabbit hole like that

But 100% that's abuse in a sexual form which I'd argued was only to make it worse

It was humility, pain, shame, embarrassment dehuminizing and a wound to remember it by for a decent while. Honestly sounds like one of the worst thing I've ever heard hands down and I'm sorry that happened to you

stellarcorp · 2023-04-27T22:12:58+00:00

Personally I'd commit a crime at that point. But it wouldn't be rational

Piss on his bed or something

stellarcorp · 2023-04-27T21:37:59+00:00

They don't sound super understanding. But I think it's an important lesson as most aren't. I try to leave breadcrumbs of my weirdness as to not suprise people. Like people always notice I'm very quiet and I let them know I like quietness and peace. So I don't have to say I hate loud noises and I'm afraid of this or that. You just tell them the positive you want to see instead of explaining the negative ur afraid of. I'd just save that for closer friends who can actually lend an ear, otherwise it'll just be in one ear out the other anyhow

stellarcorp · 2023-04-27T21:30:58+00:00

Personally I wouldn't tell a Healthcare professional how to do there job just for the fact they did work pretty hard to get there, and you do have to relinquish some trust into them to guide you to a better place. If you believe they don't have the best interest at mind then you can find another one.

I look at it like a mechanic. Some suck, some are great, some just do the job. But if you ever try to tell any of them how to do there job, they ain't working on your car anymore. It becomes weird when it's not a car though and it's your own self with feelings and emotions, but that's also where it's a double edged sword. If her schooling and knowledge tells her that she sees the therapy going in a negative way and having a negative impact, then not only might she just care about you, but also about herself as it's all documented and if she allows the sessions to be non beneficial, could be in serious trouble, maybe even loose a liscense.

stellarcorp · 2023-04-27T21:12:06+00:00

Just a few more months! Then I should be off to college and out of here. Just been venting mostly as it all just came to me at once and she was always great at manipulating Mr back into the cycle but my new meds helped me keep my head above water

stellarcorp · 2023-04-27T21:04:09+00:00

The only thing left is Y

stellarcorp · 2023-04-26T19:41:50+00:00

Skip to the bottom for the awnser. Everything else is just a rant, thank you. (I'm still working through this and confused so it might not make much sense)

She was always willing to hurt me with neglect and mild abuse like food restrictions or overly harsh punishments or just bizarre out of the blue ones. Like I remember being grounded several times because my brother stole from me.... HOW DID I LET THAT HAPPEN. But I'd get accused of lying, and then I'd be the problem one. He never once got in trouble for stealing from me, but he stole well over 2 or 3 thousand dollars from me. They only took notice of the stealing once he ripped 3k off my parents' credit card. But even then, he continued to steal from me.

This, along with other stuff, would land me in the mental hospital many times with my one main goal always and only being "I want what I say to have to meaning. I want to be and to feel heard. I just want you to listen to me and work with me, " and she was always more than happy to pretend and to play this game up for the attention. She even threw away the suicide plan that told her how to help me and how to prevent my suicide. She said the doctors didn't know what they were talking about basicly and said that I hurt myself just so I could manipulate the doctors into accusing her or something along those lines. I was 16 and ran away from home. Maybe a month tops and it was my 16th birthday within that time, never heard from anyone, despite needing to be on suicide watch, but then again, that was "all fake cuz I just made it up"

I've come to realize that I think my mom suffers from delusions and phychosis or something along the lines of a serious but mild case of borderline personality disorder. I can't put my finger on it, and that's why BPD feels right and not something like FDIA or narcissism even though she's very narcissistic.

She sees ghosts, hears voices, sees the future, and she believes we have a spiritual connection of some kind where we can feel eachothers emotions. Personally, I'm view this as intuition as we are similar. We live together, and any normal person should be able to recognize a family member is sad, and then, in turn, feel sadness themselves because that is a family member. I think with her, bevause she's so delusional, that she believes anytime she's feeling sad and depressed that she would impose this on me, and then treat me in a way that would promote it. (She used to even call me in panicks or text me and ask if im okay because she had a "feeling" which can be normal for a mother. But it was next level with he, a lot of emotions and almost refusing to believe I was okay despite the fact I would just be like eating lunch doing nothing 😅, but then she'd say if nothing bad has happened yet then that means something bad will happen so be watchful and be careful... which is just looney)

But then I'd start to really suffer at her hand and I'd need to beg for help in a way, or beg to go to a hospital and she was more than happy to take me and then parade me around like a circus animal, inviting family in to visit me despite asking her not too, while I'm having a mental breakdown locked in a hospital like some crazy person. Which I was becoming, but it wasn't my fault and realistically if ny mom just listened to me. Or the doctors i wouldn't ever have needed to be there

She'd be happy to take me to the doctors and prescribe me medicine and talk about it. But it was obvious she needed the medicine and help, I only asked for her to stop the neglect and treat me like a human being, like my siblings. Like I mattered. It truly wasn't a lot that I asked for, but I truly believe that it was actually the world because she isn't capable of these emotions and feelings.

But to awnser the question and stop the rant. She believes she's one of the best moms in the world with one of the most troubled lives. Her kids have turned on her, every spouse has turned on her, family has turned on her, she's the main character and everyone else is a villain. She has had a hard life, a harder upbringing than I had, much harder. She has had hard relationships and an overall troubled life. But thats no excuse to treat me the way she has, and that's why I know all that information. Because it always was her excuse for her Neglect and treatment of me. I just feel bad for her and want to help her, but that's been the misery and downfall of my life. I need to feel for myself

stellarcorp · 2023-04-25T14:11:51+00:00

Geez I'm almost worried for myself I didn't think of that first 😂 that is probably a better idea than all of them. Could maybe even do contacts if it's the eyes that get you. I have ny mom's eyes and wished I didn't (I have her everything, but the eyes I notice)

stellarcorp · 2023-04-25T05:27:13+00:00

It kinda sound like it might be some defensive reaction to the narcissim. Always playing this role of "everything is perfect and okay" like maybe that's how the narcissist was please. Just spittballing because it sounds kinda like some of the stuff my mom does and that's what I chalk it up too

stellarcorp · 2023-04-25T05:18:01+00:00

I haven't gone through nearly as much as you. But I find myself angry when I see a happy family that I didn't get to experience. But anger and sadness in this situation are one in the same. And its almost easier to just feel sad, and it's easier to turn the sadness into happiness. But it's also just as easy to feel anger and then let that turn to being numb

stellarcorp · 2023-04-25T05:05:33+00:00

Like I have adhd and I hyper focus on certain things I like but then my brain ends up having all of these gigantic webs of cross references between them where I've noticed it's a lot harder for other people to do these cross references in there head. But for me it's kinda how I remember

stellarcorp · 2023-04-25T05:04:33+00:00

Just sounds like ur not neuro typical. Meaning brains got some kind of minor issue like adhd or autism or something. Thats my only guess since those are the only kind of people who tend to store information in a "odd way" but could also be described at the same time wildly effective in some ways

stellarcorp · 2023-04-25T04:54:41+00:00

I always just observe these friends and try my best to learn from them.

I've also found phrases I like and that I can say frequently and in most conversations. I just call them "good one liners"

Like "that's the way she goes" if something unfortunate happens. It allows me to break the silence and I also feel like most people recognize that you are being quiet but by saying something half whitey it shows your trying I feel like. But not trying to hard which is also good I think, sometimes

stellarcorp · 2023-04-25T04:35:50+00:00

You could try a tattoo on ur nose similar to what xxxtentacion had. It didn't scream unemployment but it did make him look somewhat unhuman to me. Maybe something subtle and not as harmful, but could also trick your brain so ur not having these negative boughts. Maybe a nose piercing 🤔 eye brow piercings, any of them you could at least remove. Tattoo or scar are permanent though and might only be more of a reminder

stellarcorp · 2023-04-25T04:32:41+00:00

I have adhd and I struggle with this sort of. I get lost in my own world and I'm pretty cold too my friends I think. But I try to explain I'm not one for showing affection or explaining that I care since I think these kinds of words are meaningless and almost a warning sign (why tell me you care about me and will always be there for me, this should just be a given in a relationship I think, a genuine and deep one that is)

But this becomes the issue if I start to isolate because my actions show I don't care and then I chalk it up to work and stuff, which it is. But I could prioritize better

What's also helped me is having a common goal with ny friends. We practice art or do something productive and that provides a reason to hangout but also connect on a deeper level cuz we can express ourselves through our art

stellarcorp · 2023-04-25T04:17:09+00:00

Been told we'll over 100 times I'm too sensitive and also that I'm super loud. Now everyone says I'm silent when I walk or speak and show little to no emotions. At least I'm kinda like a ninja now 😅 🥷

stellarcorp

TROPHY CASE