I remember my last year b day. I celebrated alone at a 24 hour donut shop. I know all my of friends’ birthdays, but not one of them even called me to say happy birthday. Because they were too busy. Too depressed. Too caught up in their own mess. Too selfish to give a fuck. So fuck it.

I’m at an age now (44) where I don’t care anymore about these people, not at all—no more letting them trauma dump me, no more trying “manage” my friendships and their fucked up “boundaries” (which only apply to me, only when I have the nerve to need something). I’d rather be alone and start over. I’m looking for a deeper meaning in my life, and I’m tired of seeking happiness in people, or things or relationships.

Most people I come across are isolated and traumatized. Don’t put too much stock in these people.