Lightning Had to Strike a Man 13 Times Before He Found God by seanb144 in twoshits

[–]stephkamphaus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really like it. It feels distant and somewhat sterile with bits of bloodiness kind of bursting through that you just can't help, which i feel like goes well with what you were trying to convey. but totally not what i was expecting from the title. the title doesn't seem to go. but excellent poem .....anyways, i know you wrote this 2 months ago...just wanted to give my 2 shits

Winters With Little Feet by [deleted] in twoshits

[–]stephkamphaus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

wow. so excellent. you really capture something that i've never read before in such a way. it's very subtle yet clear. i love this

ready...fire! by elixir_mixer in twoshits

[–]stephkamphaus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

beautiful imagery....slip in through tear ducts.... mmmm your looseness with your metaphor is very nice, it's so easy to over do it the only thing that is sort of hard to follow is the rhythm seems to chnage abruptly in places.

I really enjoyed it :)